Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Well she packed up and left.

Posted by   + Show Post

Well my daughter has thrown her future away! She packed up and left to move in with boyfriend.! We can't do a whole lot but this is my first time going through this. 17 and it was one month till graduation! She decided to not go anymore. Thankfully her counclor emailed me and said she did slid by to graduate. I went to the graduation but she didn't know I was there. We have called police, nothing we can do because she is of age here. Suggestions and advice PLEASE!

by on May. 23, 2013 at 3:42 PM
Replies (21-30):
mommy2adandykid
by on May. 23, 2013 at 9:31 PM

good for her for getting the hell away from you-you seem crazy. 

newlife2013
by on May. 23, 2013 at 9:37 PM
1 mom liked this
Keep in contact with her, even if she doesn't return your call so that she knows you care and don't bring up the boyfriend or terrible decision.
Basherte
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2013 at 7:10 AM
1 mom liked this

Let it go. She needs to learn this lesson on her own. Just be there for her when she learns it.


CafeMom Tickers
mamamom431
by on May. 24, 2013 at 8:01 AM

My son had to be removed at age 16. His acting out put our daughter in danger. He went from facilities to fosterhmes,hospitals and jails. He turned 18 last month and just stopped going to school. He ws telling us he was still graduating last month. I called and they told me he is not even allowed on school property. I tried for so long. It feels like failure. Its hard to watch as they just go off and make mistakes. It would be my mistake to not let him make them.

Just let her know you feel. If she is normaly a good kid ,let her know you will be there for her. If she has been difficult all along ,let her know she is on her own. They are in such a hurry to be a grown up its about time they find out that it sorta sucks.

mommyinthe303
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2013 at 8:10 AM
Uhm thanks? That makes me sad could you tell me where i sound crazy? I love her very much, i was really looking for support not bashing.


Quoting mommy2adandykid:

good for her for getting the hell away from you-you seem crazy. 


mommyinthe303
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2013 at 8:11 AM
She is or was a great kid, i just wanted the best for her. We had a great relationship until a boy came along, she stopped going to school and lied to is.


Quoting mamamom431:

My son had to be removed at age 16. His acting out put our daughter in danger. He went from facilities to fosterhmes,hospitals and jails. He turned 18 last month and just stopped going to school. He ws telling us he was still graduating last month. I called and they told me he is not even allowed on school property. I tried for so long. It feels like failure. Its hard to watch as they just go off and make mistakes. It would be my mistake to not let him make them.

Just let her know you feel. If she is normaly a good kid ,let her know you will be there for her. If she has been difficult all along ,let her know she is on her own. They are in such a hurry to be a grown up its about time they find out that it sorta sucks.


mommyinthe303
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2013 at 8:14 AM
We had a great relationship, i don't want to blame it on a boy but all of a sudden there was a change in her. I'm going to give her distance and i do try to communicate but i love the support. This is a first time for me. Don't want to ever go thru this again with my other children


Quoting rockinmomto2:

I love how everyone is calling her moving out a mistake. Maybe she and her mother don't get along? We have no idea what the relationship at home is like. The kid is of age and moved out of her moms house. Maybe it's a mistake, maybe it's not. Maybe, just maybe, not everyone who moves out at 17 ruins their life. 

OP, all you can do is love your daughter and support her. Be kind and loving. 


ThinkAgainMom
by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:49 AM
1 mom liked this

I am sure this is VERY painful.  If she is considered an adult at this point, there is nothing you can do but deal with your own feelings and wait it out. Guess what?  She is legally an adult before you expected it and you have to learn how to live with that.

Let her know you are there if she needs you.  You need to treat her like the adult daughter she currently thinks she is, even if you don't agree.  If you give her that respect (deserved or not) you lay the ground for your continued relationship.

Don't call, it will push her even farther away.  Send her a text once a week or so.  Just say something simple:

"Thought of you today. I hope all is well."

"Your brother scored 3 goals at his soccer game tonight!"

"Your sister has a piano recital on Saturday at 3 pm at Plaza Church. She would love to see you."

And accept HIM, whether you know or like him or not. (I have concerns about 22 with 17 and supporting her NOT going to school.)  You never know, he may be around for a long time.

 

Christi_N
by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:51 AM
1 mom liked this

All you can do is be there and support her. I moved out when i was 19 to live with my 33 year boyfriend , all my Mom said to me was  "I'm here for you, if you need anything call and if you need to come home the door is always open." 4 months later I moved back home. My Boyfriend was very abusive and i just couldn't take it anymore. I pray that it doesnt take to long for your Daughter to come home and that she is not in any situation that I was in. The best thing is that even though my Mom knew things were bad and it wasn't going to be easy she gave me space and let me find out for myself. It's tough love! I was just happy that she was there for me when I needed her.

natural_s
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2013 at 11:03 AM

As hurting as you may be it looks like she now has to walk down the path that she is choosing and learn the hard way.  As a mother I am sure you have done the best that you could do and raised her to the best of your abilities and it just may take her going through some really tough things to realize that she was on the wrong path.

I know personally I made some horrible chooses but I made my bed and I had to lay in it and your daughter unfortunately is at that point in her life that she now is going to have to lay in the bed that she is making. You can not save someone that is not ready or does not want to be saved the best thing you could do for them is to love them and sometimes that requires tough love. Hopefully for your daughter she is not about to travel down to much of a bumpy road.

Good luck and just keep the love door open.

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)