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i just lost my patience! im a horrible mum!

Posted by on May. 29, 2013 at 4:29 PM
  • 6 Replies
I have 5 kids. All my friends and family have always said I should be sainted for my patience. Not just with my children but others as well. My eldest 3 are all girls, ages 12, 9, and 5. My youngest two are boys ages 21 months and 11 weeks. Since my youngest has been born I am super busy with both the boys. It's freaking ridiculous how tough it is have two kids 18 months apart!

Anyway! My two younger girls are messy! Baaaaaad! And I keep cleaning their nasty nasty room and the next day it's nasty again. I've placed and enforced so many rules but somehow they keep getting around them. They barely have any toys anymore and I only keep their shorts, skirts, and pajamas in their room. Somehow they just make a massive mess out of what they have.

I cleaned their room spotless last week. But we went camping so were gone 4 days since. I go up there, after a super long day of cleaning my house and just lose it! I yelled, screamed, and said things I know I shouldn't have. I have lost it! I want so badly to be able to go outside and play or swim with the kids when the baby is napping but all I do is clean. I'm turning into a mum I didn't ever want to be.

I don't know what to do!
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by on May. 29, 2013 at 4:29 PM
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Replies (1-6):
des-momma
by on May. 29, 2013 at 4:34 PM
1 mom liked this
Leave the mess. They don't want to pick up clean or put their clothes away then all well. I was a super clean freak but I've learned its not as important as I thought. As long as it can be hidden behind their door it shouldn't matter.
Bmat
by Barb on May. 29, 2013 at 4:40 PM

I agree with des-momma, make it their problem not yours, and keep their doors closed.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on May. 29, 2013 at 4:43 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree.  Leave the mess.   Make them clean it up by losing swimming privileges.  The 12 and 9 year old should be able to clean w/o supervision so that leaves the 5 and under crew for you to supervise while they clean up their messes.

SamMom912
by Silver Member on May. 29, 2013 at 5:02 PM

Oh dont feel bad. you're human. forgive yourself.
Id ask hubby to hang out with the little ones and you go have a talk with the older girls. Explain to them your concerns about what you have to do. Explain why you lost it on them today. Tell them what your feeling. Ask them for their help. ASk their suggestions about what they think they can do to help you. Really help them to problem solve with you.. (not for you) what is going on. Talk respecfully and unaccusingly to them... be calm.
perhaps if they can see your side of what you have to do, they can feel good about helping you. I Know I way prefer when someone tells me they are over whelmed and struggling and asks me to problem solve with them... and I usually come up with ways that I can kick in, ways I can help, ways that the problems can be solved and I feel good about it... more so then when anyone has ever given me a direct order to do something... then I usually resent it and dont do it...

work with your older DD's and your family to better solve the issue of mom being spread a little too thin right now. Its only temporary... your 11 week old will be 9 before you know it.. right? 

iamcafemom83
by Mariah on May. 29, 2013 at 5:36 PM
I had one of those moments today, too. I found where my five yr old drew on our leather chair. This was after I caught her pouring nail polish on the curtains the day before & she had peeled the paint off the window sill before that!! I flipped....and felt AWFUL afterwards.
I talked to her after we both cooled off and told her why it was unacceptable.
She got the idea that drawing is for paper.
I feel like sometimes I just don't get through until I get angry...which I hate!

It sounds like you have stripped hints down so far. The next thing would be taking things away til they clean their room for the day. Wen they ask to go swimming say we can't, your room wasn't cleaned up today. Lets try again tomorrow (or whatever day).
Good luck, am!
iamcafemom83
by Mariah on May. 29, 2013 at 5:36 PM
I had one of those moments today, too. I found where my five yr old drew on our leather chair. This was after I caught her pouring nail polish on the curtains the day before & she had peeled the paint off the window sill before that!! I flipped....and felt AWFUL afterwards.
I talked to her after we both cooled off and told her why it was unacceptable.
She got the idea that drawing is for paper.
I feel like sometimes I just don't get through until I get angry...which I hate!

It sounds like you have stripped hints down so far. The next thing would be taking things away til they clean their room for the day. Wen they ask to go swimming say we can't, your room wasn't cleaned up today. Lets try again tomorrow (or whatever day).
Good luck, ma!
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