Mostly Recovered from an Abusive Marriage and Facing it from Stepmom PIOG
I was in an abusive relationship for roughly 6 years. I have been separated from my ex since February of last year. I recently moved into my dad's house with 2 kids because finances were too difficult. I have been met with hostility from my sister and stepmom (my sister is actually a half-sister and she is my stepmom's daughter. I mention it only because of the dynamic). My sister has become dominant over stepmom and stepmom goes with it. She, herself, is passive-aggressive, selfish, has jealousy issues, manipulative, etc. I've been keeping my distance from them because they're completely unhealthy people. Anyway, just been so tired of being taken advantage of and all the other junk that goes on. Any time I attempt to tell her anything, I tell her in a calm way, but she yells, slams things, etc. About a week ago, she slammed a door in my face. I said, "You want to slam doors?" and slammed it back. She acted as though she was going to throw water on me and commented she wanted to. I said, "Whatever you do to me, I can dish it right back." Normally, I say this is childish behavior and I take responsibility for my actions, but it wasn't "tit for tat." It was about showing her that her bad treatment can be given back, not out of revenge, but to show her that I wouldn't be dominated. It wasn't a reaction out of anger, but pure choice. I know people do what they want to do, but I mean to say it was like showing her a consequence to her action. I don't think it's "my place" to teach her a lesson, but that I am a human being and however she treats me can be given back so she shouldn't think she has a right or is entitled to treat someone like that because anyone can do it right back. I don't think that's good and it's not an excuse of "She did this so I did that." I remember reading that we (people who have suffered from abuse) will be more sensitive to abuse after experiencing it. I think I am just done with being treated badly. Really done.
I posted in another group, but no replies at all. Just feeling so raw today. It just surprises me, and I guess it shouldn't, that despite all that I've been through-- physical abuse, sexual, emotional, psychological, etc-- that family members wouldn't be more compassionate and helping me to fully recover. I don't mean emotionally, but financially or to just be more caring and say "How are you doing?", but when you deal with a selfish person, what can you really expect? They only care about how your presence benefits them.