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my husband got temporay custody of our 9 month old child..i feel helpless

Posted by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 6:13 PM
  • 15 Replies

i don't do drugs or have a criminal background. i have had a long distance realationship with my soon to be ex husband he filed speration from me and judge granted him temporary custody of our child ever since i tried to take her out of his mother's house . at court he said he wants reconcilation and filed joint custody but each time i ask can i come and visit her he would say u can see her 1 -2 hours at the most and that he decides where and he would convey the information to his lawyer in which she will tell my lawyer..where is the reconcilation in all this ?? how can i be a parent in this condition i live long distance 4 hours by plane she is 9 months old i have not gone to see her ever since the court hearing in feburary. i ask him how she is doing what are u doing for her birthday did she have her baptism there is no reply...i feel since i don't go and visit her the judge will favor him.. he lost his job last november and was getting unemployement checks since then..i am a nurse and i send him 500 to 1000 dollars a month past few months he didn't ask child support but i give it anyway...what do u guys think the judge will say especially since i have not gone to see her in the court papers filed it says i have to provide 48 hour notice and we mutually agree where i can see her there is not restrictions as to how long or how many times i can see her but my husband is making it this in which i can see her 2 hours at the most. what shall i do...i want to be a mother but feel i am going to loose her...what is the worst thing the judge can do to me...is this child neglect on my part?

by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 6:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jackiewal10
by Gold Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 6:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Why do you live so far away?  I'm not totally understanding this story.  So, you left him while all of you were living with his mom? There has to be more to that story.  A judge isn't going to award custody to one parent or another just for that reason alone.

offrdngal
by Terri on Jun. 16, 2013 at 6:18 PM

 Do you have everything documented?  Receipts for the money you?  Proof of his restrictions and your attempts to make plans for visitation?

You will not be considered neglectful, especially if you have all of this proof.  It will look bad on the ex's part.  Have you discussed any of this, with your attorney?

conniejo75
by Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 6:19 PM
Not neglect since u are paying child support and keeping contact. but he will likely get custody since u aren't making any effort to see child.
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MylittlePea
by Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 6:19 PM
Well we're missing something here..... Y would a judge just do that? Definitely not for no reason. And so what if its only 2 hours GO. If I was you I'd move temporarily closer that will put him through a loop and fight, fight hard and screw him maybe his mom is trying to take her some grandmothers get like that when they form a bond how convienant it would be for her to shut you out and have her granddaughter and her son. Your a nurse you can find a job anywhere go there move as close as possible two can play that game!!!!
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mary1234633
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 6:57 PM

we got married 4 yrs back  and ever since i have been living with my parents trying to finish nursing school while he finds a job..i didn't want to waste time with school going in out of school if he didn't have a stable job..we both couldn't afford that...so i was living and going to school in texas while he was going in out of jobs.

UpSheRises
by Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 7:17 PM

So the two of you got married and had a baby but you've never lived together?

lazyd
by Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 7:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe at the time your ex was providing a more stable home for your child and that's why the judge gave him custody?  Why didnt you take your daughter with you to Texas?  You could have done that before your ex filed custody, but it looks like he beat you to the punch.  You are not being neglectful because you are paying child support.  I still dont understand why you still live so far away from your child.  It sounds like you arent in school anymore and actually are a nurse now with a job.  Nurses are in high demand every where.  Try to find a job closer to your ex so you can see your daughter more.  The only restriction in the custody order is that you have to give your ex 48 hours notice, but you can see your daughter for as long as you want.  SO document when and where you see your daughter and for how long, let the judge know or your attorney know that your ex is breaking the custody order by only giving you 2 hours with your daughter.  Go back to court and refile for another custody - YOU have a steady job now and your ex is unemployed.  Is your family supporting you in any way to help?

mary1234633
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 7:34 PM

i have two years left of schooling to finish my bsn degree..i just finished only the lvn program..i was told that soon no one will hire lvns and so i tried to go for the bsn route. it is very hard i cry all the time i don't know what will happen in the next two years with my daughter...if by any chance the judge gives him full custody of the child due to me not going to see the child what will this look like does this mean i can never ever see her..will my ex say i dont want her to see the child..since i am nurse how will the affect me in me getting a job..will i have a crimnal background now how am i going to pay child support when this profession is my bread ..

my intention is to file in court after i graduate and reverse this order..can i do that? i don't want to have any more

children from my womb as it was a scared place only for my  daughter i don't think i would do justice to her if i had another baby by someone else..i would however consider adopting an orphan will i still be able do that ?

mary1234633
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 7:37 PM

BUMP!

Bleacheddecay
by Silver Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 7:47 PM
1 mom liked this

Not sure how you'd have a criminal background just because your ex is breaking the law trying to keep you from seeing your child.

Not sure how he got your child in the first place? Why was she living with him was because you go to school?

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