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This teen has pulled the last straw!!!

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I know it is long but please read all of it. Needing Advice. So my sister has a teenager and she is an absolute handful. She just turned 16 and they threw her a big birthday party to celebrate. For some reason she has gotten into this attitude where she thinks she is everything and isn't thankful for anything anyone gives/does for her. The other night, Cassie, (my sister), told Brooke (the 16 yr old teen, her daughter) that she wasn't allowed to leave the house to be with her boyfriend or be with him at all why she was out taking her other kids to friends' house and taking her littler one to spend time with Grandparents. Cassie came back and Brooke was not there. She called her and she answered and said she was at the park but not to come and get her because she was just with friends and not to worry about her. Cassie wasn't going to let that slide because she knew how caniving Brooke was and wasn't going to let her do something without checking up on the situations. Cassie pulled up to a parking spot on the side of the park where Brooke would not be able to hear the car or see it. She got out and went to go check things out and yes, Brooke was with her friends, but she had failed to mention that all of her friends' boyfriends were there as well as her, and they all were in the middle of a full on make-out session behind the community building. Cassie called all of the girls' mom's to come and get their daughters to leave and punish them, and sent all of the boys home as well. A bunch of cars pulled up as all of the moms filed out of their cars and walked over to where the action was happening. They took their daughters home and I am guessing they were all thoroughly punished. Cassie doesn't know what to do. Brooke is out of control and Cassie says that this can't happen again, and I wouldn't want it to either. She needs help on ways to punish her. She has already taken her car away and she can only go to things her parents will drive her to. Cassie feels like there needs to be a better punishment..so please help!!

by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 1:15 AM
Replies (11-20):
MrsKaufold1990
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 2:30 AM
Thats what i said ad i got laughed at...

That whole no door works wonders!!!!


Quoting Buggy979:

I would be taking the door off the hinges, all of her personal favorite belongings, he make up, cell, computer or ipad, car she would only have a pillow a blanket and her bed. She would need to earn her right to get everything back but until then she will live with nothing. . I have done this by the way and it worked wonders.

happybooklady
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 2:33 AM
1 mom liked this

In addition to the restrictions on your niece's time and privileges, I strongly recommend counseling so that Brooke has an outlet for her emotions. She's going through a big transition right now and she's not the first, nor the last, to make hell of her own life by not dealing with things in a healthy way. A qualified adult whose sole purpose is to sit there and listen only to her and help her process her emotions and deal with her situations may be a solid resolution to help her back on the right track as she enters adulthood.

She has to see a counselor she likes and trusts. There are several out there who try to force teens into a different perspective so your sister's got to find one with some finesse. They usually come highly recommended. Once she starts asking around, I bet it'll go smoothly.

Good luck to your sister and niece!

allornone
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 2:49 AM

Where is her dad?

SamMom912
by Silver Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 7:56 AM
1 mom liked this
Sorry this is going on. Its a tough situation.
I think your Sil needs to learn to better negotiate with her DD. i know people will probably bash me for this response; but this is part of the reason i don't raise my kid with a might is right attitude- because eventually, they get big and ultimate control just isn't possible.
Her DD rebels and could care less about what her parents want based on no one ever listening or respecting her choices or giving her a way to learn to b respectful. Im guessing she was never respected. Im guessing your SIl was/is "my way or highway" parent- who has been rigid and only demanded respect. Well at this point DD is acting like she is an adult- her way- rigid.
I truly believe raising a child with their input ;their negotiating ; their concerns; open lines of communication; never a " because i said so- or my house my rules- teaches respect both ways; teaches negotiation- teaches working together.

I think your SIl should read "the explosive child" to learn to negotiate effectively with her DD. to listen; be part of the solution. Ruling with an iron thumb is not how parents need to be. Very few truly respond to that effectively. You need to learn to negotiate to have good friend; a good marriage; a good career... Why doesnt she try negotiating instead of telling? Working together to all treat each other respectfully?
iamcafemom83
by Mariah on Jun. 20, 2013 at 9:58 AM
I think busting her and then calling all friends parents was a great start!! Haha!!
I would take away phone and Internet privileges. I would have a list of chores (small or big as she likes) for her each day. I would also make sure she stayed busy helping with younger siblings and cousins.
I would also consider signing her up for some sort of summer school course (math, science or a sport).
saraadria
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 10:21 AM

Everything else makes sense, but don't take a door from someone who's becoming a woman.  Maybe remove the handle and/or lock but not the door itself.

AMRios
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this

I am not saying it is okay but that sounds like a normal teenage girl... She is the center of the world and no one compares to her... That is just being a teenager... Instead of punishing her I would sit and talk to her about sex and the consequences of it and tell her different situations and what she should do in each... Punishing her is going to make it worse IMO... You can't keep her trapped inside for being a teenager... Get her into some sports or a job being a life guard to keep her busy... 

leew8372
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 11:42 AM

I don't know, if this is the worse thing my daughter ever does I will be a happy mother. I was a horrible teen (so much worse than this).

 Pregnancy Ticker

To_the_moon
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 12:49 PM
Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

When i snuck out i got an ass whooping so hard i could barely sit and i was 14!!!!

Take the damn cell phone, drive her ass to school an pick her ass up grom school.

Take the door away from her as well.


I agree with this. No phone, no computer, no car, no door and make her ass do some chores around the house. If she were mine she'd be grounded for a month or two.
MrsKaufold1990
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 12:52 PM

Grounding, for me is a no go, I was grounded, and my mom left, and I was out doing the next pain in the ass thing, because my grandmother and second mom didn't want to deal with us lol. 

So if my children ever act the way this teen did, no door, no phone, no computer, and you have to do the dishes for the next two months, and no you can't use the dishwasher either. And you have to clean my bathroom every other day as well. And vaccum every room in the house


Quoting To_the_moon:

Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

When i snuck out i got an ass whooping so hard i could barely sit and i was 14!!!!

Take the damn cell phone, drive her ass to school an pick her ass up grom school.

Take the door away from her as well.


I agree with this. No phone, no computer, no car, no door and make her ass do some chores around the house. If she were mine she'd be grounded for a month or two.



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