Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

This teen has pulled the last straw!!!

Posted by   + Show Post

I know it is long but please read all of it. Needing Advice. So my sister has a teenager and she is an absolute handful. She just turned 16 and they threw her a big birthday party to celebrate. For some reason she has gotten into this attitude where she thinks she is everything and isn't thankful for anything anyone gives/does for her. The other night, Cassie, (my sister), told Brooke (the 16 yr old teen, her daughter) that she wasn't allowed to leave the house to be with her boyfriend or be with him at all why she was out taking her other kids to friends' house and taking her littler one to spend time with Grandparents. Cassie came back and Brooke was not there. She called her and she answered and said she was at the park but not to come and get her because she was just with friends and not to worry about her. Cassie wasn't going to let that slide because she knew how caniving Brooke was and wasn't going to let her do something without checking up on the situations. Cassie pulled up to a parking spot on the side of the park where Brooke would not be able to hear the car or see it. She got out and went to go check things out and yes, Brooke was with her friends, but she had failed to mention that all of her friends' boyfriends were there as well as her, and they all were in the middle of a full on make-out session behind the community building. Cassie called all of the girls' mom's to come and get their daughters to leave and punish them, and sent all of the boys home as well. A bunch of cars pulled up as all of the moms filed out of their cars and walked over to where the action was happening. They took their daughters home and I am guessing they were all thoroughly punished. Cassie doesn't know what to do. Brooke is out of control and Cassie says that this can't happen again, and I wouldn't want it to either. She needs help on ways to punish her. She has already taken her car away and she can only go to things her parents will drive her to. Cassie feels like there needs to be a better punishment..so please help!!

by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 1:15 AM
Replies (31-40):
mommy2alissa
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 4:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I would do all of this AND whoop her ass. Not to mention no TV, computer, games, school activities, etc. 

Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

When i snuck out i got an ass whooping so hard i could barely sit and i was 14!!!!

Take the damn cell phone, drive her ass to school an pick her ass up grom school.

Take the door away from her as well.


MrsKaufold1990
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 4:26 PM
1 mom liked this
When i found out it was a girl my mom and grandmother laughed and said

"Well payback is a bitch isnt it"

Gee thanks ya guys lol.


Quoting sugarcrisp:

Trust me.. I know how you feel. As thrilled as I am to be having a girl, I'm worried about the teen years.



Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

Im scared for teen years for my oldest.



She scares me, especially since i was horrible.





Quoting sugarcrisp:

I was worse at 15. My poor mother. lol

I ended up spending 9m at a girls group home. It sorta helped.

I'm not too sure. Maybe some family therapy?







sugarcrisp
by Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 4:29 PM
1 mom liked this

I heard the same. lol


Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

When i found out it was a girl my mom and grandmother laughed and said

"Well payback is a bitch isnt it"

Gee thanks ya guys lol.


Quoting sugarcrisp:

Trust me.. I know how you feel. As thrilled as I am to be having a girl, I'm worried about the teen years.



Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

Im scared for teen years for my oldest.



She scares me, especially since i was horrible.





Quoting sugarcrisp:

I was worse at 15. My poor mother. lol

I ended up spending 9m at a girls group home. It sorta helped.

I'm not too sure. Maybe some family therapy?









CarlyEliz
by Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 4:31 PM
oh i see. doors and sneaking out really dont mix very well. i snuck out the front door once but i was 19 and it was 2 in the morning so i didnt care if i got caught.


Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

Hell no!!!! Lol.



I used the basement doors, but totally forgot that my second mom walked out of front door lol. And the living room looked over drive wat.



Worst was i took my little sister with me, and thats partly why i got beat.



I was bad.




Quoting CarlyEliz:

You used the front door? lol I climbed out the window and the fence to the neighbors behind my house and to that street cuz no1 on that street knew me or my parents. i was never caught. i ran into my neighbors son once but he was in the drug scene and never told on me lol






Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

What was funny?







Im being dead serious.







I thought i was being slick when i snuck out, forgot my second mom was up ar 5am when i walked in the front door, she whooped my ass so damn hard, ad shell ad mit it to it.







Trust me take the phone, and door, computer time, ad make her do all the dishes, drop her off and pick her up from school.







Watch how fast she turns around.








Quoting chrissypea21:







Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

When i snuck out i got an ass whooping so hard i could barely sit and i was 14!!!!









Take the damn cell phone, drive her ass to school an pick her ass up grom school.









Take the door away from her as well.














HAHA! That was pretty damn hilarious but good advice at the same time!





MrsKaufold1990
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 4:35 PM
Once we moved into our own house i just used the front door. My mom slept on the couch and just told her i was gonna go across the street...teah id be gone for days.


Quoting CarlyEliz:

oh i see. doors and sneaking out really dont mix very well. i snuck out the front door once but i was 19 and it was 2 in the morning so i didnt care if i got caught.




Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

Hell no!!!! Lol.





I used the basement doors, but totally forgot that my second mom walked out of front door lol. And the living room looked over drive wat.





Worst was i took my little sister with me, and thats partly why i got beat.





I was bad.






Quoting CarlyEliz:

You used the front door? lol I climbed out the window and the fence to the neighbors behind my house and to that street cuz no1 on that street knew me or my parents. i was never caught. i ran into my neighbors son once but he was in the drug scene and never told on me lol








Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

What was funny?









Im being dead serious.









I thought i was being slick when i snuck out, forgot my second mom was up ar 5am when i walked in the front door, she whooped my ass so damn hard, ad shell ad mit it to it.









Trust me take the phone, and door, computer time, ad make her do all the dishes, drop her off and pick her up from school.









Watch how fast she turns around.










Quoting chrissypea21:








Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

When i snuck out i got an ass whooping so hard i could barely sit and i was 14!!!!











Take the damn cell phone, drive her ass to school an pick her ass up grom school.











Take the door away from her as well.

















HAHA! That was pretty damn hilarious but good advice at the same time!






GaleJ
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 6:50 PM

...having already passed through the shadow of the valley of the teenage years I have to wonder why everybody is so frantic with this young woman's behavior. While I don't approve of the lying and sneaking out I do know that these behaviors are fairly common and normal for the age and rebellious phase of adolescence. I think taking her car away is plenty of punishment. If the punishments for such behaviors are too extreme they can actually have the opposite effect of that which is desired and motivate the teenager to try both more and more excessive of the negative behaviors. 

I think a better suggestion is to make it clear to the young woman that her behavior is unacceptable because her parents and her need to be able to trust each other and then to provide positive steps the teenager can take to reclaim both her parent's trust and her car privileges back.

lennyraye
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 7:10 PM

Has she ever taken her to a shelter where kids are living that are NOT as fortunate as she is? Some homeless with babies trying to take care of them?

She need to go speak to the juvenille detention authorities/DSHS counselor  or the police station...there is a great program that I put my son in when he thought he didn't have to obey, show any respect, thankful for NOTHING..total defiance. Oh everyone diagnosed him with everything under the sun...medication was used..he just (and he admits it) was crying out for stability and discipline to feel secure as he used to as a little kid. He wanted to be able to use us as an excuse when it came right down to it to help make the decision and let his friends know there was no way he could sneek around our backs...CONSISTANCY...the main thing..do NOT budge. Sit down and make a schedule...have her sign a contract stating that she was to obide by the rules and if she doesn't the next step will be to appear before a judge in the Teens AT Risk program...which will release you from setting the rules and place it in the judges hands. You will be required by law (this is the important part to follow through on) and hard....if she does NOT do her part or disrupts the household causing family turmoil. The judge will ask you what is the important thins that you want him to address...they assign her someone to represent her...but they know they are helping the parent...they are really just a mediator...

She will have to abide by the rules as far as telling/asking to leave the house, let you know where she is at all times checking in, maintain a certain grade point, no getting in trouble at school. There will be chore schedule, held to respect in the household realizing the family does NOT owe her to be the demanding one and her every need met or threaten to rebel. Curfew is to be followed to a tee,studytime. Her life is all laid out for her and so are the reward system as she earns trust and shows consideration for people sacrificing to give her a good life.

If she is defiant you can call the cops and make a report or write to the judge on a special form that she will be sent a date to appear before him. They punish them by pulling their curfew earlier and give them a couple of chances...but if it goes to the third time they sentence them to 2 weeks in juvenille hall to teach them how good they have it at home. They attend school if it is the schoolyear but return to juvie every night. Believe me..it is a program that keeps the parents in charge even though the judge is making the rules it is obvious that you are the one responsible for reporting her behavior to him. It works great unless the parent does not keep up their end of the court order which is your choice. You are asking the courts to help before your child is in serious trouble and to teach them what it is like to really have a bad life? Haven't you ever wondered why kids that come from nothing...are the best , hard-working, respectful, appreciative kids? Ours are spoiled and demanding because we love them so much all their lives they have been catered to...this is a great program and you will go through hard decisions..but she will always respect and feel your love and thank you in the end believe me. Use our teen programs..protect your gal before she cannot be turned around. Hugs..Been there..great result...


LindaClement
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 7:28 PM

Punishing her hasn't worked yet, why does anyone think it will START working now?

It's a bit unreasonable (or naive? or maybe I mean 'dumb as a post'?) to expect that a 16yo will not be socializing with boys whenever they're not home.

It's doubly ... yeah, I'm going to go with 'stupid' ... to believe that ordering a child to do or not do something will have any impact when the dictator can't see what's happening. In fact, I would suggest that trying to do so is not only voluntary frustration, but virtually a demand to disobey.

kailu1835
by Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 7:34 PM
For the first part, it sounds like she's used to having everything done for her. Make her stand on her own two feet.

As for the second part, having a make out session is hardly "out of control" behavior. She does need to face consequences for lying and sneaking though.
Mama2Lily_Benji
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 7:50 PM

She should look into Love & Logic! It sounds like it might work for this teen.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN