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The great debate! SAHM vs. WM

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 5:35 PM
  • 82 Replies
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SAHM's how much does your DH make a month for you to stay home, does this allow you to live comfortable and still have money to do things or do you live paycheck to paycheck with not much extra to go out? What were your reasons for wanting to stay home, other than being with your kids all day which is a given (ie. saving money on day care expenses, food, gas, etc.) Would you rather be a WM? Why?


WM do you feel like you have enough time after you get off work to get everything done in the few short hours after work. Do you feel like you get to spend enough time with you child with having to do so much after work too? (ie. making supper, doing dishes, cleaning, etc.) Would you rather be a SAHM? Why?

by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 5:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsMiles85
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 5:49 PM

I have stayed at home since I was about 6 months pregnant with my now 7 year old.  I like it but I am excited about going back to work.  Meeting new people and just getting a break from my kids is my motivation.  The father of my children pays his childsupport faithfully, thankfully, and he gives me a decent amount because he wants me to stay at home with our kids until our youngest is a bit older.  My husband works.  Nothing fancy but it pays the bills.  We have what we need and a little of what we want.  Living the good life.  :)

Mommy4000
by Bronze Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 5:54 PM
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I'm not going to talk about money because I feel that's too personal, but I chose to leave my career when we began discussing a second child, because my husband and I both felt that both of us working and adding another child to our family would take too much away from our purpose for having children. I would not rather be working a full time job or continuing a full time career as the mother of two. Had we agreed to only have one, I might feel better about continuing to work.

sdb2007
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 5:58 PM

That has been my feeling too when we have another one, I have been trying to explain that to my husband that I feel having 2 or more kids I need to be home with them. I already hate the fact that my DS is with someone else 10 hours a day, and while I don't believe a day care raises your kids, they definitely spend more time teaching/discipling them that you do and I don't like that. And I totally wasn't trying to get too personal with the money question (I hesitated asking actually because I didn't want to be too personal) just trying to get an idea of how much is "enough" for some people to make it being a SAHM.

kraziandkoul
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 6:22 PM

WM here. I do NOT feel like I have enough time. I'm always way more tired and I have a hard time some days. However, I know how important it is for me to work. Right now I am working 6 days a week, so it's even more difficult (I am due in a month!). I am technically part time, and when I only work a few days a week it is much easier for me to manage everything.

I would NOT want to be a SAHM. My husband can't work, so I have to support the family. I also am fiercely independent and couldn't go without making my own income. 

slgilliam
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 6:33 PM
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I am a WM - However, I work for the school district so I get the added perks of having a lot of breaks and days off during the school year and summers off. If I did not work for the school district I am not so sure I would be able to return to work.

KelliansMom
by Silver Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 6:36 PM
1 mom liked this

He makes enough, but in oder to make enough he has to travel and is gone most of the month (he has been working in CA for eight months now only home for a weekend each month). We felt it was what was best for our son to have me home. I sometimes wish I could go back to work but with my husbands work schedule and day care not really on a retail schedule ( i was managment before having him) it just wasnt worth it. That and the cost of day care here is crazy high

cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 6:39 PM
I'm a working mom and it's definitely not easy. Iam the sole financial provider for my family. Sometimes I miss things because I can't get off work but I make it to as much as I can. There definitely aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done.
notjstanothrmom
by Silver Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 6:41 PM
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I don't even think it should be a debate. Everyone is doing what they feel is best or what they have to do to care for their families.

I am a SAHM and I think it benefits my kids greatly. I would hate to have to leave them for work every day.

mckinneymom918
by Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 6:53 PM
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I started staying home when my middle was 2, almost 3 and my oldest was 6, almost 7. I am an accountant and worked 60-70 hours per week through tax season and then a very easy summer and fall. Unfortunately January - April is in the middle of school and I felt like I was checked out. And my oldest was struggling in school. My best friend had just lost her baby, I just felt I needed to be with my kids. I had to beg to stay home at first, and we decided to on a trial basis (I could go back for tax season), now its been 2 years and he doesn't want me to go back, like ever. He likes having me here with them, so we don't have to depend on others every day. I can say though that if we hadn't decided that I should stay home we wouldn't have had our 3rd child.

My husband is an eye dr, and honestly he makes plenty and we live comfortably in our 4 bedroom with our 3 kids. We go on vacations, we eat out relatively often, but I cook a lot too, we fully fund his 401k, contribute to the kids college funds, we just put granite countertops in our kitchen. But we also do things frugally too where we can, I use coupons (a must with a $300 grocery budget), I always check my local kids consignment shop when they need new clothes. Water at restaurants, I usually cook dinners even on vacation to save money there too. We also pay $700/mo for his student loans, that's a huge piece of our budget for the next 15 years. When we had our 3rd child, we needed a bigger car (need is relative I suppose, we did have a mid size SUV, but we wanted extra space especially for traveling) we decided on a minivan rather than a full size SUV because it was cheaper (plus we got a great deal) and better on gas.

Our long term goals changed tho too, my salary was primarily going to save for land to build on. We still have that, but it would makes things too tight to have a mortgage on it.

So I know I was all over the place, but I'm just saying if its something that you want to do that is important to you, you make choices to support that.

Do I miss my career? Sure, I loved my work, and I was good at it, but I feel it is important for me to be home for my kids.
MJP76
by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 9:02 PM

SAHM's how much does your DH make a month for you to stay home, does this allow you to live comfortable and still have money to do things or do you live paycheck to paycheck with not much extra to go out?  DH makes more than 8 a month. Which is more than enough to live on and do extra things. We go on 3 vacations a year.


What were your reasons for wanting to stay home, other than being with your kids all day which is a given (ie. saving money on day care expenses, food, gas, etc.) Would you rather be a WM? Why? One of us has always stayed home. In the beginning it was because we didn't want strangers raising our children. One of us staying at home was always a conscious decision even BEFORE having children.. No, I wouldn't want to be a working mom. Even now with all of my kids in school, I prefer to stay at home, and DH is content with that.

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