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Will you forgive and forget if your husband cheated on you?

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 6:21 AM
  • 55 Replies
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My husband cheated on me. I had no idea he did. We are in a long distance relationship coz he is working abroad while im here in our country working as well, we have 1 baby boy ( i just gave birth last May 21,2013). 

I found out he cheated because his "girl" has been sending me msgs / pictures on my fb proving the she and my husband are having an affair. Theyve been having this affair since november and had ended it this june. 

i already broke up with him last june 17 , a day after i found out this cheating incident. since then, my husbands been trying to contact me, but his calls are automatically rejected on my phone because i blocked him. i can read though his msgs on my spambox. hes been begging for forgiveness and asking for last chance . he wants to reconcile and wants me and my baby to be intact as family. he said the girl kept bugging me because she wants to get even with him for breaking up with her. i dont know what to believe in. the girl even said that they were living in since november and me here pregnant. 

do you think i should give him another chance? forgive and forget? im really in pain now

by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 6:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
bellawomen
by Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 6:27 AM
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No way. You deserve more respect than that. He is an idiot and still is not taking accountability for HIS actions. I don't care what that girl was doing, he made vows to you. HE cheated on YOU. He is blaming this girl, but in reality if he felt bad for cheating he should have told you. He is only mad because he got caught.

I found out my husband was cheating last August for most of our marriage (on and off with many women). I think you should count yourself lucky and thank that girl for doing you a favor. I found out on my own and am now divorcing him. I need someone who will respect me and take vows seriously.
mamapotts00
by Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 9:09 AM

Hell no! He doesn't deserve you. 

SamMom912
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:44 AM
Thats inly a decision you can make.
If you want to go to counseling together. If he wants to quit job and come home. If you two want to make it work.
I could never handle cheating. For me; its a deal breaker.
I have 2 friends who have dealt with infidelity. One couple divorced; one has made it work, gotten past and moved forward.
rockinmomto2
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:57 AM

My DH cheated on me (and moved out for a while) last summer. It was hard and I was really angry. It's been a year, and I still haven't forgiven him. We've reconciled, but I don't wear my wedding ring and I still haven't decided if I'm going to end up leaving or not. I love him VERY much but I can't forgive him for what he did. It's just inexcuseable. If you don't want to give him another chance, don't. And believe me, I know how badly it hurts. If you can do it on your own, do it. I sometimes regret taking him back, but I was afraid of how angry he was (and it was all directed at me...threatening to take the kids and what not), and I didn't want to lose everything. I do have options now if I so choose to leave, though. 

kristine8333
by Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:02 AM
1 mom liked this
No i couldnt forget....or forgive. If it was a one time thing, w/out the affair...maybe i could forgive...but NEVER forget!
snowangel1979
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:06 AM
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That really doesn't sound like he's sorry. It sounds like he's sorry he got caught. He's blaming the girl for telling you, when he should be taking the blame for cheating on you.

IDK that was what an 8 month relationship he had behind your back. Imo that's worse them just a one night stand.

Personally, there's no way I would take him back. My DH knows he cheats, It's over.
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atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:06 AM

Hell no.  28 years of marriage, I may kill him.  lol.

Come join me at The Duggars Debate, The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

huntersmama711
by Bronze Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:10 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree with this. An ongoing affair is impossible to get past for me, a 1 time thing I would try to forgive but you can't ever forget it happened, unless you get amnesia

Quoting kristine8333:

No i couldnt forget....or forgive. If it was a one time thing, w/out the affair...maybe i could forgive...but NEVER forget!
AM-BRAT
by Amber on Jun. 25, 2013 at 12:21 PM

I honestly don't know what I would do.

At this point our marriage is sort of fragile so I would prolly be happy to bail if something like that happened. It would be more insult to injury here.

But for you- that is such a personal choice. I just don't know.  :(

Bleacheddecay
by Gold Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 12:22 PM

I am not sure what I would do. Clearly the girl is on a revenge adgenda.

Many men cheat. Many men that work long distance cheat.

Many women have "forgiven" but I'm not sure how deep that forgiveness actually goes. The relationship has stayed in tact in many cases until death but may have been somewhat brittle?

It's up to you. No one else. Counseling can help repair a broken trust.

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