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Child of divorce?

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:45 PM
  • 29 Replies
If your parents got divorced when you were somewhere between 2-7 and they shared custody, how did it affect you? Did any problems caused by it carry into adulthood for you? Any positive experiences?
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by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:00 AM

darn i cant answer this.  I am an older child of divorce.

Radellia
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:01 AM
Same here

Quoting frndlyfn:

darn i cant answer this.  I am an older child of divorce.

luvemboth
by Silver Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:05 AM
You can still answer :) I'm just curious how a possible divorce might effect my kids for the rest of their lives.


Quoting frndlyfn:

darn i cant answer this.  I am an older child of divorce.


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conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:09 AM
1 mom liked this
My parents divorced when I was 11... my youngest bro was 4 at the time (5 of us). My mom had custody, but my grandparents did most of the raising. I have trust issues when it comes to men for sure.

My kids were 18 months and 3 months old when their Dad and I divorced. They are now 18&17... my kids have had every possible custody schedule over the past 16+ years. My kids are awesome well behaved young men. But their Dad has given up on them, by his own choice.
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ruby_jewel_04
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:10 AM
1 mom liked this
My dad wanted nothing to do with us. I was 5 when they split. 7 the last time I saw him. Then my step dad mentally and emotionally abused us until I moved out at 18. I still have issues from it. Not because of the divorce its self, but from my "father figures", or lack of, and emotional abuse.
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:10 AM
1 mom liked this

I was 12/13 at the time it happened.   Many positives happened.   My parents were able to still be friendly towards each other for the childrens needs.   Mom had primary custody but dad stayed as active as he could in our lives.   We saw him every other weekend , summers, holidays, etc.  One positive for me was during those teen years I was able to call one of his friends if i needed to get out of the house and they would drive 3 hrs to come get me for weekend.


The key is for both parents to be mature and work together to form a new stable family life for the children.

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:11 AM
1 mom liked this

How will affect the children? it is different for everyone.  I would suggest counseling for them.

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je80ss
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:16 AM
1 mom liked this
My parens divorced when i was 5/6 and dad remarried right away. I think I was effected both negative and positive. I never had a close relationship with my mom. when my parents got divorced we had eow with my mom and the rest of the time with dad and stepmom. I looked to stepmom more as a "mom" to me cause she was around all the time. As I got older, I noticed all the little things... the unfulfilled promises, the times where she said she was coming but didn't, the times where she acted like she had money and then when we had to checkout we always had to put stuff back (ugh, I always think of her if I ever have to do that). The way she bad mouthed my dad and i thought he was the greatest (he really was and is). But I also learned about blended families. I gained another sister and a brother when my dad remarried. Stepmom for the most part was great. There were times when it felt like the family was seperated but I think that was part of the deal. We all get along great and i do still talk to my mother. My mom even goes to my dad's house for certain family functions, graduation, wedding, birthdays of kids...things between everyone have settled down in the 25 yrs since divorce. I now take that experience and use it daily as I deal with SO's children and have the role of stepmom. I think I have a greater understanding of what a sm goes through and also what the kids are going through having a bm that is pretty much absent for over two yrs. I feel that I have alot of experience to draw from to be a sm myself now knowing a little bit of both sides--child of divorce and witnessing what my sm had to go through.
AM-BRAT
by Amber on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:17 AM
1 mom liked this
I was older. And he was, is- my stepdad and only dad.

And there were weirder than normal circumstances.

I guess I can't answer exactly but kids survive divorces all the time. Obviously not ideal but all you can do is your best. Gl mama. :(
momma4AJ
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:22 AM
1 mom liked this

my parents got married when i was 3 and divorced when i was 5... my first step dad (they got married when i was 6) got my mom hooked on drugs, and fathers ex gf burned my clothes that her girls didnt want. i was physically, mentally and emotionally abused (thankfully not sexually abused). they got divorsed when i was 15, and the man my mom is married to now is awesome. he went from having one kid everyother weekend (his son lived with grandparents, and was from a previous marriage) to have 3 kids all at once all the time plus his own son... my father has never remarried... my parents actually had joint custody of me but i spent most of my life with my mom. i'm happy to say that i have a good relationship with my mom, my father, and my step dad (#2)...

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