I Feel Like a Failure As A Parent (PIOG...potty training question in this vent)...
I am feeling like a total failure as a parent right now. My 3 year old DD (3 yrs and almost 7 months to be more precise) is speech delayed, won't finish potty training (she'll pee but not poop in the pot), and still takes a pacifier. I know I can't control the speech or the potty training but I've chosen to focus on those rather than the pacifier. Right now my frustration is with potty training. She seems to be opposed to pooping anywhere except in her panties. She's also started taking her panties off when she poops and just leaves them wherever she is. Lately she's been taking them off at daycare and running around naked outside. Today she took her Pull-up off (she was in a Pullup because she'd already had one accident today) and smeared the poop on the playground equipment.
While I understand that I can't control when/how long it takes to potty train I'm frustrated. She isn't the only child in her class who has accidents but she seems to take pleasure in pooping in her panties. I've tried reward charts (don't work), time outs (don't work), asking her to go more often (doesn't work), and I'm ashamed to say that I've even tried spanking at the advice of my mother. She's a smart kid but seems to be a literal learner. She no longer takes off her panties at home so I think the punishing has lead to her thinking that I'm upset because she's taking it off. I've taught her how to clean herself up and get clean panties so I think that's part of the reason why she's taking her panties off. I just want her to poop in the potty just like she goes and pees in the potty. I'm afraid her daycare is going to move her back to the 2 year old room because the 3 year olds are expected to be a bit more independent. Today the teachers and assistant director looked like they wanted to tell me to take my kid and never come back. I'm sure they weren't happy about having to cut outdoor time for the other kids to clean up the playground equipment after my DD.
I've scoured Cafe Mom and other kiddie sites and don't see anything I haven't yet tried. Does anyone have any tips on what I can do to get her to poop in the potty and/or not take her panties off and play in the poop? I understand that she'll finish potty training in her own time but right now I'm convinced that she's going to be the one 18 year old wearing a diaper at graduation.
Feel free to bash me if you want because my child isn't potty trained (or still taking a pacifier) but please give me any tips that might help.