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Don't understand 20+ year olds

Posted by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:12 AM
  • 45 Replies

I don't understand my daughter who is a mother of a 1 1/2 year old daughter and engaged.  Her fiance is sick and she asks me to baby sit and then goes out with a male friend to a water park and doesn't come home till really late.  That said she is working 40 hrs. a week and that can be 6 days a week.  I am really frustrated with her choices and worry that he baby is not getting enough mom time.  Her dad/fiance is the primary care giver and works much less hours.  Is this normal behavior ?  I mean, what woman goes out to a water park with another man while her fiance is home sick, I don't care how far in advance this was planned.  Am I being unresonable?  Is this typical of 23 year olds.  I just want to shake her and tell  her to wake up soon o she won't have a fiance.  My husband says that she is going to do what she is going to do and nothing I say will make a difference.  So, should I just not say anything?  I babysit every week for them and try to give that wonderful little girl as much love and happiness I can. 

by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
RheaF
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:15 AM
3 moms liked this

 Honestly, that is between her and her fiance. IMHO, it is a big red flag. However, if he was ok with it, then ok. You agreed to babysit, so you enabled her too go to this. If you really felt it was wrong and were against it why not tell her you couldn't do it?

Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:15 AM
this type of behavior can be very common for people this age.. which is why so many adults are opposed to having babies/ getting married too young because a defenseless child gets caught in the chaos
Angelanscalf89
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:16 AM
Im 23 and I wouldnt do that. My fiance would probably be upset if I went to a water park with another guy without him. I also dont have a habit of asking people to watch my kids so I can go out. I have a almost 6 yr old and 4 yr old and I never go out.
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mamalynnsmith
by Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:18 AM
4 moms liked this

Dont babyset unless it is for her to go to work. She needs to grow up

Angelanscalf89
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:20 AM
It may be common but not everyone is like this. I am 23 with 2 kids I grew up when I had kids I dont pull this shit. I camt even remember the last time I had anyone watch my kids. Wait yeah I do last summer I went to a concert with my mom. Dd was already staying the night at my grandmas I just had to ask the in laws to take ds for the night. And as for the girl going out with another guy I wouldnt do that either.

Quoting Roo1234:

this type of behavior can be very common for people this age.. which is why so many adults are opposed to having babies/ getting married too young because a defenseless child gets caught in the chaos
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RheaF
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:20 AM

 BTW, I had DD when I was 21, no I did not act like this. Most of the people I know who married and had childrenyoung, were ready to do so. They didn't run around like that. The one's who had not planned or been ready for babies were the ones who still tried to hold onto their youth. Who acted selfishly, and pushed their children off on anyone they could. Who also now regret not having that time with their kids.

Rowdys.Mommy
by Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:21 AM
1 mom liked this
If you don't know the while situation don't make assumptions
mommaFruFru
by Bronze Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:31 AM
I honestly don't see a problem, she works hard to provide for her child, you don't know that her and her dd didn't talk about her still going even though he was sick, me personally I font want ppl around when I'm sick.

If she was working all day, and going out everynight, then yeah that is irresponsible, but on occasion? When she knows her child is well cared for? No

Not everyone has the same ideas of what a mom SHOULD do/be
Is her behaviours something I would do ( I had my.oldest at 20, middle at 22) no, but I also think its best to be a sahm.
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 8:26 AM
Don't babysit.
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illogicalkat
by Bronze Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 9:26 AM

I think your husband is right, to try and say anything to your daughter is going to be a wasted effort. And besides, we're missing some details here, like whether the fiance objected to her going (he might just as easily have encouraged her to go have fun.)

You don't have to babysit if you don't approve of her choices, though.

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