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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Anybody else feel like they dont have the time for the second child?

Posted by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:53 PM
  • 13 Replies

My oldest is 7 1/2 and the little one will be two at the end of August. I use to spend all my time (SAHM) with the oldest but I just don't have that time with the little one. I am so busy running the oldest and so much more tired that I just don't have the energy! We use to read a bedtime story to the oldest every night and I feel like we just throw the little one in the bed, no stor or nothing. I do try and read to her during the day when we have time. And my little is sooooo clingy to me and whi y and I wonder if it is because she doesn't get the time and attention that the oldest got! Wish there was more time........

by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Bmat
by Barb on Jul. 3, 2013 at 8:39 PM

I suspect it is typical for a parent to pay a little less attention anyway to the younger child since the time is divided. Give her as much as you can, that's all you can do.

mommyecr3
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 9:08 PM

Your post is a tad bit confusing, yet I will do my best to help by telling my history as it may relate to yours...My first child spent every waking moment on my chest either nursing or taking his daytime naps. We were (still are and he's 16 yrs now() extremely tight and tied into each other. When my daughter was born he was 2 yrs and 2 mos. and I was, unfortunately, more concerned about him still getting his time with me than my new bby. But, eventually, I was able to make time for both of them.

Katalina650
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 12:45 PM

Read to both kids at the same time at night, or have your 71/2 year old read to the little one at night.  And if you read to the little on during the day that is ok, you don't have to do a bedtime story to be a good mom.  Also, your 7/12 year old should help you out at home.  It kinda sounds like you are one of those mom's who does too much for your older kid.  Try to teach some independence.

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Jul. 4, 2013 at 2:51 PM
It's a struggle. But I carve out time for
Both. I take oldest to the library and we always participate in the book club. Volunteer in his classroom, etc. The baby gets me with nursing,middle of night feedings, etc.
taraimani
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 4:33 AM

I know all about it! I have 5 kids (18,15,13,10 and 3 years old). Sometimes I feel the same way about my 3 year old. My other children have so many things to deal with at their age, so I also find it hard to always find time to my little girl. But any time you have left over just spend it with the little one.

Aslen
by Silver Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 4:38 AM
Do they not have a father that's active in their lives? He needs to take the oldest some and give you one on one with the youngest. You have to make time for her too, or resentment will build
steffiecox
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 4:46 AM
Why not read to both of them at the same time? You have to learn to balance the time you spend with you kids. you don't want one to feel left out or to get jealous. as the sandine they both need to learn some independence.
mumamy
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 4:58 AM

In your shoes if you are unable to make time for them equally I would worry when #2 gets older they will see this and resent you. Really try hard to keep it even. We have two and I dont want them to feel I favour one over the other with things and time.

legobaby
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 10:32 AM

I definitely feel like I have less time with BOTH kids, and I'm about to have my third, so I know our time together is going to get even more precious.  I try to do as much with them as possible, but I'm so sick and exhausted all the time that it's a struggle to think up a craft or fun activity.  It has been a lot better since the weather has been warm because we can at least do things outside.

My kids are much closer in age than yours.  My oldest has a full size bed.  Usually DH or I will read to him in his bed, and the little one will crawl in there while she's on her way to bed.  She sometimes wants me but usually wants DH to put her to bed, so he will take her in her room and read to her in the rocker while I read DS another story in his bed.

She is 21 months and talks well for her age, but I feel like she doesn't know as much as DS did at her age because I don't have the time/energy to work with her on it as much or read to her as much.  Plus I let her watch more TV than her brother did or was interested in at her age.  She knows all her colors, animals, animal sounds, etc. and has a good vocabulary, but at her age, her brother had known all his numbers and letters for several months.  She's much more independent and better at other things like motor skills, so I guess they're just smart in different ways. 

Anyway, if you feel like your 7 year old isn't overscheduled, all you can do is your best.  I wouldn't stress about it unless you're sitting around wasting a lot of time that you could be spending with the little one.

hockey21
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:13 PM

I  dont think I will ever be too busy for another baby..actually I am expecting my 2nd this December and my husband is talking a 3rd in a few years  after...my 1st daughter is 2  so my theory is to keep them in a close age range...so I  am busy and everyone has equal time

 

 

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