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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

How do I deal with cliquey moms?

Posted by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 7:55 PM
  • 42 Replies
3 moms liked this

I can't stand all these cliquey you-know-what moms.  I've always had more guy friends because girls are well, you know what I mean.  Didn't bother me as a kid or as a single adult.  But I have kids and now it affects them. And I don't like it.   There is even a rule at one of my kid's preschool to not make play dates in front of other people because it's gotten so bad and yet they do it anyways!  I am dreading one of my children starting kindergarten because the cliquey moms have already formed their group and are excluding other moms and children.  It's disgusting and their children learn it, which is a form of bullying.  Maybe if we wanted to stop bullying it should start with the parents.  Children learn by example. 

by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 7:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Islat
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 8:02 PM

Be grateful they are not inviting you. Imagine  the negative energy they carry around and how it would affect you ugh!!!!! They sound so pathetic .

rosiemarie
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 8:03 PM
1 mom liked this
You must live in nj....lol.....that's all I've come across
It's hard cause I talk to everyone ...not so easy


Quoting LuvMyBabies912:I can't stand all these cliquey you-know-what moms.  I've always had more guy friends because girls are well, you know what I mean.  Didn't bother me as a kid or as a single adult.  But I have kids and now it affects them. And I don't like it.   There is even a rule at one of my kid's preschool to not make play dates in front of other people because it's gotten so bad and yet they do it anyways!  I am dreading one of my children starting kindergarten because the cliquey moms have already formed their group and are excluding other moms and children.  It's disgusting and their children learn it, which is a form of bullying.  Maybe if we wanted to stop bullying it should start with the parents.  Children learn by example. 
aehutmacher
by Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 8:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I know the feeling. But, you can use this as a lesson for your kids, too, about how some people treat others. Like "it hurts to be left out, so if you see someone who is looking lonely, introduce yourself and help them make friends so they won't be hurt. I've used this "lesson plan" with my 5YO and she's super out-going - likes to keep everyone involved. So, just like you said, kids learn from parents. Let your kids learn from you that you can't be friends with everyone, but you can help people feel not-so-lonely. Help then recognize cliques and learn to overcome them.

 

BTW, there will be a lot of parents in kindergarten who will want their kids to make friends. Focus on them and not so much the ones who aren't interested. Let your (and your child's) shiny personality attract them. Maybe then they'll learn not to be so cliquey. Just think of all of the great ideas these cliquebparents are missing because they feel like they don't "need" any more friends.

notomatoes
by New Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 8:32 PM
1 mom liked this

with do you do when kids are acting more mature then the adults?change groups, i dont have time for adults who are like that, my daughter and i just recently changed playgroups because if this, the new playground is actually closer to us, and we dont have to deal with the parents trying to dump their tots off in my general direction, with no supervision , sunblock or snacks....i mean if you are bringing your kids to the playground you should at the very least remember to bring them a sippy cup and snacks, i am a nice person but i am not walmart..and if you allow or encourage your older child to bully my little girl, you will be dealing with me..end of discussion

notomatoes
by New Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 8:45 PM

most parents would be bright enough to say, you know, this woman just gave my two younger children enough snacks to keep them busy for a while, it might   be a good ideal to not allow our older boys to bully her little girl..ya think?

DropZoneMom
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 8:58 PM

Wait...inviting a kid over for a playdate in front of other parents is "cliquey"??    Are these 'parents' all in middle school???

sabrtooth1
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 9:13 PM
3 moms liked this

I never felt it necessary to like every parent of every child in every class.  I don't like every person I meet.  I don't care to spend time with people I do not like.  I'm sure YOU do not like every person you meet.  I do NOT see why you would want to spend time with people who don't like you.  Find people who you DO like, and who like you back.  It's like making ANY friend.  Grow up. 

sissytnt
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 9:18 PM

I soooo agree, I am not a cliquey and it does effect my kids , but I'm also teaching them how to deal with it the best way they can and seeing how little and petty these idiots are and that by not being this way you will get more respect and know who your friends are .

ceciliam
by Cecilia on Jul. 9, 2013 at 9:25 PM

I'm in NJ and I'm not "cliquey", at all. :(

I also teach my son not to be that way. I find that just being receptive to everyone is a great way to go and also get involved in as much school activities as you can.

Quoting rosiemarie:

You must live in nj....lol.....that's all I've come across
It's hard cause I talk to everyone ...not so easy


Quoting LuvMyBabies912:I can't stand all these cliquey you-know-what moms.  I've always had more guy friends because girls are well, you know what I mean.  Didn't bother me as a kid or as a single adult.  But I have kids and now it affects them. And I don't like it.   There is even a rule at one of my kid's preschool to not make play dates in front of other people because it's gotten so bad and yet they do it anyways!  I am dreading one of my children starting kindergarten because the cliquey moms have already formed their group and are excluding other moms and children.  It's disgusting and their children learn it, which is a form of bullying.  Maybe if we wanted to stop bullying it should start with the parents.  Children learn by example. 


Elle.tea.22
by Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 9:26 PM

People naturally seek groups. It happens.

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