Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Im so hurt..how could he

Posted by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 11:59 PM
  • 13 Replies
I posted a status today that I found funny. I put:
Dakota: "mom, papa jerry is your dad right?"
Me: "as far as I know."
Thomas: "what?! You have a dad too?!"


My son is special needs and I thought it was cute. My step mom messaged me and said my dad was hurt and offended by my status. She refused to answer as to why. I was talking with my mom trying to figure it all out when she dropped the bomb that made me understand but cut thru me like a knife and pissed me off at the same time. This weekend he told my sisters that for 29 years he questioned if my mom had an affair almost 30 years ago and told them he swore I wasn't his. How could he say that? I can't stop crying I'm so hurt. I never questioned if he was or not so why is he? Sorry, I don't know where to turn.


Update! Talked with my sisters to make sure I knew all the facts before calling my dad and saying things that I would regret had I acted differently. Turns out the conversation never happened. My mom had one of those vivid dreams that seemed real and continued to believe it was. Talked with my dad and cleared up the confusion of my status and explained my call almost ended up worse had I not thought all night and all day the best way around it. He laughed and said the same thing as my sisters, "your mother is crazy!"
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 11:59 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 12:35 AM
1 mom liked this

 Oh man that is a huge bummer when you were just relating a cute story about your day and dad had to turn it into a poopfest.

143myboys9496
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 12:35 AM

 IMO, you and dad should talk. Just you and him.

I'm sorry you found out his suspicions like that, he just made his issues with your mom, his issue with you.

I hope you both work it out.

rugratsmommy4
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 12:40 AM
I was going to call him tomorrow to clear up the confusion with my status. But now I'm so hurt I don't know if I can bring myself too.

Quoting 143myboys9496:

 IMO, you and dad should talk. Just you and him.


I'm sorry you found out his suspicions like that, he just made his issues with your mom, his issue with you.


I hope you both work it out.

143myboys9496
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 12:48 AM

 I'm sure he's hurt too. He probably ASSumed you knew something he didn't. And you never knew anything..you're both hurt. The air needs desperately to be cleared. Whether or not he's your dad, he's the only dad you've known..any man can be a father..it takes a special man to be a dad.

Just tell him how you feel..truthfully the rest is up to him to deal with. You've done nothing except post an innocent conversation with your son.

Quoting rugratsmommy4:

I was going to call him tomorrow to clear up the confusion with my status. But now I'm so hurt I don't know if I can bring myself too.

Quoting 143myboys9496:

 IMO, you and dad should talk. Just you and him.


I'm sorry you found out his suspicions like that, he just made his issues with your mom, his issue with you.


I hope you both work it out.

 

rugratsmommy4
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:24 AM
When I can calm myself down enough I will talk to him when my step mom isn't home. I have no doubt I'm his blood daughter. Not sure why he even questioned it at all these 29 years.

Quoting 143myboys9496:

 I'm sure he's hurt too. He probably ASSumed you knew something he didn't. And you never knew anything..you're both hurt. The air needs desperately to be cleared. Whether or not he's your dad, he's the only dad you've known..any man can be a father..it takes a special man to be a dad.


Just tell him how you feel..truthfully the rest is up to him to deal with. You've done nothing except post an innocent conversation with your son.


Quoting rugratsmommy4:

I was going to call him tomorrow to clear up the confusion with my status. But now I'm so hurt I don't know if I can bring myself too.


Quoting 143myboys9496:


 IMO, you and dad should talk. Just you and him.



I'm sorry you found out his suspicions like that, he just made his issues with your mom, his issue with you.



I hope you both work it out.


 

nuts4scouts
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 3:00 AM

Sorry, your "Dad" is a #1 ass.

If it were me, I would ream him a new one. 

Where exactly does he get off being "hurt and offended" by a simple response to a child, when he turns around and tells his "real" children a story specifically meant to cause you pain?

 That is the response of a spoiled child, not a grown man.

rugratsmommy4
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 10:18 AM

I thought I was his "real" child.  But I guess he doesn't see it that way and never has saw it that way.  I'm so confused.  If he felt this way for so long why didn't he say something years ago, like during the divorce hearings between him and my mom when I was 10.  Why not find out the truth instead of paying for a child that isn't his?  I know I'm his daughter blood or not.  Im at the point that he can order a DNA test and when it comes back I AM his daughter he can kiss my white ass.  The more I've been thinking about what he said the more peices of my childhood start to make sense.  He always optted for my brother to ride on work runs with him, never me unless there wasn't a sitter available.  He started a business that my brother would be partner of when he was older. During the divorce he always fought for custody of my brother by not me.  When I did live with him he kicked me out in middle school because of something that I had no control over (being raped by my brothers friend).  He lives 5 mins down the road from me driving and rarely stops in to see the kids or me and DH.  Rarely invites us over and never takes the kids.  It's all making sense now as to why.  And that just tears me deeper.  I stopped crying long enough to get 5 hours of sleep last night but once I woke up they came flooding back.

TIGGERTAC
by Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 10:44 AM

Oh this is a tough one. With all i've been through in my life I would react by deleting and blocking him from fb and not contacting him at all and let him make the 1st move. BUT if you love him and cherish the relationship, cool off first and then talk to him.

rugratsmommy4
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 10:48 AM

I've been through a lot too.  I've lost contact with him for years because of an ex and we've had a good relationship since.  He's my dad, no question about it on my end.  I'm trying to pull myself together enough to call him and tell him we need to talk, just the two of us and get this figured out.  If he feels that strongely about it I'll take a DNA test that he can pay for and when it comes back I AM his then he can kiss my ass.  I'm hurt he would say that I'm not and that he could even think it.

Quoting TIGGERTAC:

Oh this is a tough one. With all i've been through in my life I would react by deleting and blocking him from fb and not contacting him at all and let him make the 1st move. BUT if you love him and cherish the relationship, cool off first and then talk to him.


rstuart66
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 12:30 PM

Since it's become an issue maybe a paternity test is in line.  Sorry a cute comment turned bad.  

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured