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So sad....

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:14 AM
  • 3 Replies
Hi. I'm new to this group, old to cafemom...just haven't been on in a long time. I don't even know if I want advice. I feel I've done everything I can, but I just wanted someone to talk to that doesn't know me. If that makes sense....everyone here in my life is always throwing things at me and I can't take it anymore. I suppose I'll tell you what is going on....

The day before Easter, while my 3 year old daughter was getting off the potty, she told me that her papaw, my dad, had touched her "tutu". I asked her how, and she said, "with his finger" and then bent down and showed me. At first, I went into shock...I couldn't do anything, it's like my brain wouldn't process it. I was finishing nursing school at the time, so I went and took a 5 hour long test that we had due and then went to bed. Crazy, I know, but I really didn't know what to do. The next morning, I called my niece, who is more like a sister, and told her what my dd had said. She told me to do what I already knew I had to do....report it, go to the hospital...so I did. It was the hardest day of my life. I spent 8 hours in the emergency department telling this story over and over to doctors, nurses, police officers, cps workers. And then, while I was there, they arrested my dad. Since then, I have dealt with my brother and 3 sisters, nieces, nephews, my mom, friends...all calling and telling me things he has said, or done. I haven't seen him since the day I took her to the hospital. I confronted him, hit him, pulled my gun on him....and then Saturday, he showed up at my moms house. He came and dropped off money (guilt money, he's always done that), to me, because I'm moving 5 hours away, which is something else I've had to deal with...everything I do gets back to him. I don't want him to know anything about me, and people in this family just keep talking! Anyhow, he showed up and I opened the door because I could tell that my mom was getting upset talking to him. ( I should add that we have found out that he has molested my brother, a sister, possibly two, and a cousin. The first time that we know of was when he was a teenager.) so, my mom was upset, so I opened the door and he was saying, "will you just tell her?" I said, "tell me what?" And then he says, "today is my last day and I just wanted to tell you bye" so, not only has this man hurt the most important person in my life, but now he wants to come and tell me he is going to kill himself and its on my conscience? I've been dealing with all of this for four months, he has been indicted, and makes his plea of guilty or not guilty on Friday. I've dealt pretty well, so far. I finished nursing school, passed boards, and got a job far far away from this place so my daughter and I can start a new life, but I am at my breaking point. I haven't cried since about a week after this all happened, and now I've cried uncontrollably every day since I saw him. This all just hurts so badly. I don't know who this man is that raised me. He and I were never close, but we had started to have a really nice relationship in the last two years, and he does this!!! And now, it's like my dad died and this other man hurt my child. My baby was hurt in the worst way possible, and my dad did it. Wtf??! I've had to deal with this kind of crap since I was 13, over and over again. My best friend from church, raped me at his 15th birthday party when I was 13, a few months later, my other friends grandpa molested both of us. When I was 19, a friends dad tried to rape me. And now all of this. I mean, what the hell is God thinking? Why me? Why Aubrey? What did she do to deserve this? She is most beautiful, precious thing on this earth, why would someone who is suppose to love her want to hurt her? I just don't understand and I'm about to snap. How do I go on and live a normal life? I don't ever want to date or let my dd go to school or to a friends house. I know that's irrational, but it's how I feel. Will I ever get over this? And my poor baby...what has this done to her??
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:14 AM
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Replies (1-3):
AbbeysMom2013
by Gold Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:40 AM
Wow. I'm sorry you have been through all that. That would definitely make me not want my daughter out of my sight at any time. You have already moved and taken yourself out of the situation. I really do think you would benefit from counseling.
Twin_Mommy10
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:55 AM
I think some counseling would really help you. I can't imagine how you must feel. But look at all the things you managed to accomplish during this hard time in your life! There is no way I would have been able to focus on school or boards with all of that going on. When you get moved and settled in try to find a good counselor in the area. Best of luck to you and your family!
Twin_Mommy10
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:56 AM
I think some counseling would really help you. I can't imagine how you must feel. But look at all the things you managed to accomplish during this hard time in your life! There is no way I would have been able to focus on school or boards with all of that going on. When you get moved and settled in try to find a good counselor in the area. Best of luck to you and your family!
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