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I am losing my mind

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:26 PM
  • 3 Replies

I am a stay at home mom without a license /car/job. My husband works and I watch after our son. I have been doing it for almost 2 years. Even when my husband is home, he is so tired after work, he won't take me grocery shopping or anything so I can just breathe. He spends almost 0 time with our son unless hes disciplining him. I pretty much do everything except work. I am mom, wife, cook and maid. Now I am babysitting my friends 5 month old for free so my friend can work and get back on her feet. I am losing my mind. It was bad enough with my just my son. He never takes me seriously no matter what I do, he still bites... but only me. He hits almost everyone. He thinks it is all funny, if I start to clean, he trashes everything I have picked up,. I get to his level and tell him no no, and try to show him how to help me pick it all back up, and he does for a minute, then goes back into hurricane mode. He breaks my stuff, even if I put it up, my son is a climber! He climbed onto the top shelf in his closet. He can pull himself onto the table, he scales the book case and entertainment center. I barely ever have a moments repreive for myself. I am constantly chasing after him. I cant get anything done it feels like. I am exhausted. My husband taught him to go into the corner but then my son throws his hands in the air, yells "all done" and runs off. He takes off his diapers and poops on my carpet even though i constantly throw a new diaper on him every 5 minutes. I have been trying to potty train him. And because I am dealing with 2 babies now, I have even more of a struggle getting what I need to done, they are both constantly needing my attention. My husband comes home and we fight and fight about the fact the house isn't as clean as he would like it.... and now were moving next week and everytime I try to clean and pack, my friends daughter needs a diaper change, or to be fed and when i go to do that, my son unpacks everything and then if i go after him, my friends daughter screams and cries until I come back to finish feeding her. I try to get them to play together but my son only wants to play with me., He does everything to me, im his favorite, he hugs me, cuddles me, sits on my lap, laughs and plays with me, but he is also the meanest to me. Even when my husband is home and ive completely lost my cool, he is no help to me. I have been crying every night and my husband just tells me i am dramatic and over sensitive. We have been fighting a lot because I tell him I need his help and I want his attention, and he thinks im ungrateful for everything he does for our family. I get so frusterated, I imagine just dropping my son off at my moms and disapearing. I love my son I really really do, I miss him when he is just in another room sleeping... I just can't stand him. I don't condone spanking at his age... hes just so little.... but corners, talks, time outs.... none of it works.... and I went from trying to quit smoking (I smoke on my patio outside, awade from the children.... i would never evere smoke infront of kids) to smoking almost a pack a day..... I just want like... a week... hell even a day away from my entire family, surrounded by good friends and just... do whatever I want (within reason.) even now as im typing this up, my son is kicking me in the back and my friends 5 month old is throwing herself a hissy fit. 

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by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:26 PM
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Bmat
by Barb on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:39 PM

Tell your friend that you can't take her baby right now.  Make your son clean up his own messes. Remember that you are the mom, not a friend, not the maid. He needs firm and consistent guidance. Get your drivers license-  Your husband can take you to the classes, or you can call a taxi- hire a sitter if needed. Something I did when I was a SAHM and had no car- my husband had it at work, was to carpool to the grocery store with a neighbor. On my days to drive, we went in the evening, since this is when I had a car available.

Do not permit your son to kick you.  YOU are the one in charge. He needs to go to the time out chair.

mamaslilpunkin
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:47 PM

 I would take a break from babysitting.You have your hands full with one right now and seem like a woman on the edge,you poor thing!Why don't you have you drivers license?I would go get it.Immediatly if possible.Thats your key to freedom.Hell would freeze if I had to wait around for my hubby to take me any where.If there is anything in walking distance  I would just walk there on hubby's days off just for a break.Do you go outside with your son or can walk to a park?Sounds like he's kinda bored and needs to run around and let loose in a place where he's not constantly being told not to to touch such and such,not to trash the house,etc.If anyone close to you drives,like you mentioned your mom,can she take your son for a couple of hours a week so you can relax or clean something? I really hope you get some rest and some help soon,mama!

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:42 PM

I agree,  You are in no condition to take on another child especially one who is more dependent on an adult to take care of their needs.  It sounds like you are not following through with any disciplines.  If he gets out before the time is over (a minute per year of age) you take him back to the spot.   This continues until he stays there for the time.  Before and after the time out you need to explain why he was put there.  This can work for any bad choices he makes in behavior.

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