Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Child Support

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:22 PM
  • 14 Replies
I suppose there is no right or wrong answer to this, but should I be obligated to give the child support that I receive straight to my son? His father is filling his head with the thought that I should, since his dad did the same for him when he was a kid. My sons stepmother also gives the child support for her daughter straight to her daughter. Now my son wants the same. I tell him that I can't afford to do that and that child support is to help support him by paying bills and buying food and clothing for him, which is what I do with it. I do sometimes give him a little money to get a toy or video game if there is enough extra. If I made more money, I probably would give him the money as long as he didn't just blow it on stupid crap. What do you all think?
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:22 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Bleacheddecay
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:36 PM
6 moms liked this

The purpose of child support is to help support the child, not for them to have cash to buy things. Supporting a child includes the rent or mortgage payment, the utilities, transportation, groceries and so on.

To give a child the child support is not wise in any case. They'd have way too much money to spend before they are likely to be wise enough to spend it on important things rather than things not really good for them.

If one were well off enough, perhaps putting the money aside for the future of the child, then using it for college or giving to them when they are 25 or so would be better.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:58 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree.  I never saw the child support which was given to my mom for us kids.  We saw it in the form of food, a roof over our head and maybe a fun trip to amusement park or something.  I know it mostly paid for brother's extra curricular activities.

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

The purpose of child support is to help support the child, not for them to have cash to buy things. Supporting a child includes the rent or mortgage payment, the utilities, transportation, groceries and so on.

To give a child the child support is not wise in any case. They'd have way too much money to spend before they are likely to be wise enough to spend it on important things rather than things not really good for them.

If one were well off enough, perhaps putting the money aside for the future of the child, then using it for college or giving to them when they are 25 or so would be better.


busymommy2013
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:15 PM
My thoughts exactly!
offrdngal
by Terri on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:30 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with the others. I use the child support that I receive, for groceries, bills and whatever my son needs. If there is extra and he wants something, I will get it for him. No, I would not hand the money over to him, just for him to blow.
My ex's favorite comment (to Derek) was "all the child money just goes right into his (my current hubby) gas tank". I told Derek, "even if that was true, that gas tank keeps a roof over your head, food in your stomach and clothes on your back." Derek must have repeated that to his dad, because he hasn't heard any more comments.

bamababe1975
by Gold Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 8:44 AM

 No, child support is money for you to use to raise the child and pay for things he needs like food, clothing, etc., not an allowance for him to play with. His job is to give you the child support - what you do with it really isn't any of his business as long as your child is taken care of.



Reina13
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 8:58 AM

It depends on the family. If affordability allows you could give it to your son or put it in a savings account. My very good friend, put every dime she received into a college fund for her daughter, by the time she went to college her tuition was fully paid for with that money.

However if you need that money to help support your childs basic needs, ie food, shelter, clothing, etc.. then that is what that money is for.

It is to support the child in whatever capacity that child needs the support.



Enjoy a Coffee Break Chat with us Every Tuesday!

rstuart66
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 10:46 AM

You are giving it to him by giving him lights and food.  Occasional toys are fine and tell him that is how life goes.  

Marimaru
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:21 PM

Wow.  I've never even heard of someone doing that before.

I suppose if my child were asking me to go that route, I would say "Fine, but then you are responsible for X% of the house payment, electric bill, water bill, grocery bill, and you'll need to buy all of your own clothes and any other fun things you want to do.  Likely all of those expenses would cost more than the cash they were getting in hand.

KidsTea3
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 7:59 PM

Yeah, this is a hard one but I will make it very easy by saying... if you can give him a few dollars do so. If you can't then don't. Then be at peace with your decision, even if it doesnt satisfy your son!

xoxRachelxox
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 8:42 PM

Sorry but I don't think the child should just get handed the money. You have things to pay for that child support helps with. Food, clothing and shelter. I would tell my son, I don't care what others did or do, I only care what YOU do and you aren't getting the money handed to you. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)