Dealing with a Bully (settle a dispute with me and dh)
Here's what happened:
We went to a local splash pad yesterday. My 7 year old son took his super soaker. We went over the rules as we pulled in. No squirting others in the face/if you squirt someone and they ask you not to, stop and don't do it again/if someone asks to borrow it, you have to share.
So we get there and there are water guns that are set up in one section that can swivel and squirts water pretty hard and far. My son goes up to a boy about his age and asks if he can use it to fill his super soaker. He boy proceeded to turn the water on my son and squirted him full in the face and told him to go away. My son simply wiped his face off and walked away.
I then saw this same boy push a toddler out of his way to get on another water toy, squirt other kids in the face full force and just be a general meany.
I watch my son like a hawk ( I don't get on my phone, read a book, or any of that.. i actually watch him. To make sure he is safe, good, and having fun)
SO... next thing I know my son has made friends with another boy about his age. He is sharing his super soaker and they are taking turns with it, all is going well. THEN mean kid comes over and the OTHER boy my son is playing with has the water gun using it and my son has the super soaker. Other boy squirts mean kid on his back with water gun. Mean kid pushes him ( I can see all this but not hear what is said) I then see my son squirt mean kid on the belly. Mean kid then pushes my son and grabs his super soaker and starts to stomp away with it. My son walks toward him and reaches for his super soaker and mean boy shoves him hard and throws it at him. My son picks it up and as mean boy is going toward my son again like to hit or push him, I intervine and say to mean boy " Do not touch him again" and took my son by the hand and lead him away. I told my son NOT to squirt that kid again and not to play near him. He then tells me what happened. When other boy squirted mean boy, mean boy told him he better not squirt him again. Other boy says "Why not? It's a water park! That's the fun" Mean boy says "Fun is pounding your face in" and proceeds to push the boy. My son states he was taking up for his friend by squirting mean boy on the belly and that's when mean boy turned on him and did the shoving etc. I told my son he shouldn't have squirted him and should have walked away. He said he did it so his friend wouldnt get hit, he'd rather be hit than let his friend get hit.
Ok, so a few min later mean boys mom comes up to me in the middle of the park screaming at me. She yells "Don't you ever speak to my son again! If you have something to say to him you say it to me!" I stated to her that had I known who he was with I would have but I was not going to sit back and watch him shove and possibly hit my son and not say anything. She screamed "Well, your brat started it! I saw it all!
He squirted my son" (she had been sitting under a tree reading a book btw) I calmly stated that I had witnessed him shove other children and if he didn't want to be squirted, maybe a waterpark was a poor outing choice. She proceeded to very loudly tell her son "If that kid comes near you again you have my permission to punch him in the face!" I then got loud myself and said "You better hope he doesn't because if he hits my son, I'M coming for you!"
Everything was fine after that. My son and literally ALL the other kids went to the other side of the park to play and whenever mean boy came near, they all moved to the other side.
My son and another boy thanked me for getting mean boy away from them. Another mother said she had seen it all and that boy was trouble and her kids had been told to stay away from him before we got there.
My HUSBAND says I handled it wrong. He says I shouldn't have spoken to mean boy at all and just got our son away from him and told him not to go near him again. All I said was don't you touch him again and the reason I said it was because he was about to hit my son and I wasn't within reach to get him safe. He said me saying something was what caused the mom to come over and make a scene. SHE did make a scene but i remained calm and soft toned until she told her son to punch mine.
Was I totally off base? What should i have done if i was wrong. Letting my son get hit wasn't an option!