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When is enough enough?

Posted by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:30 AM
  • 42 Replies
I've been with my husband for 13 years. He is bipolar so there are days when he is wonderful and days when he is a complete asshole. I've looked up the definition of mental and emotional abuse and I realize now I'm living in this hell everyday. Little things like, last night he wanted to go to the casino. I asked him, "what about the kids?" (all three of our kids are sick) so he tells me "none of them want me so I might as well go, even though our three year old kept crying for him. So then I say "we don't have the money for this" and he starts going off about how I blow money and I'm like, yeah for diapers, medicine and food. I am miserable. I hate not feeling loved while everyone thinks he is such a good guy. I hate that my three year old son thinks it's ok to yell at me because that's what daddy does. But, I'm also a SAHM so I have no income of my own. I just don't know what to do.
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
threenorns
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:49 AM
2 moms liked this

you pack up your kids and you leave, that's what you do.

it's not going to be easy but while you're concerned about your 3yr old yelling at you, you have two other children learnined a) it's okay to yell at mommy or b) it's right and proper that i get abused by my husband.

if he cannot be the husband you want your daughters to have or your son to be, he needs to be gone.

there is assistance out there for women in your situation - do some research. 

exhausted_ma
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:52 AM
Thank you.


Quoting threenorns:

you pack up your kids and you leave, that's what you do.

it's not going to be easy but while you're concerned about your 3yr old yelling at you, you have two other children learnined a) it's okay to yell at mommy or b) it's right and proper that i get abused by my husband.

if he cannot be the husband you want your daughters to have or your son to be, he needs to be gone.

there is assistance out there for women in your situation - do some research. 


wildflowerkej
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:10 AM

I agree, I went through a similar thing with my ex husband.  He would get mad at me and yell at me to the point where I would be curled up on the floor in a fetal position crying (I can't deal with confrontation).  I left his sorry butt and now will be divorced in about a week and a half.  I was a SAHM also.  I found a job the day that I left.  Feel around and see what the job market is like in you area, and put in applications so maybe you can find something before you're ready to leave.  So you have something to fall back on. But I would definitely leave.  It is never okay for that to happen.

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:01 AM
Should have left a long time ago.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
rgba
by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:03 AM
Is he taking meds?
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ceciliam
by Cecilia on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry you are going through this. Maybe it's time for you to start making a plan so you can be happy, whether that means leaving him or getting a job. Focus on you and your children and a happier life. Good luck.

nuts4scouts
by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:26 AM

Has your husband been diagnosed as bipolar by a doctor?

Is he being treated by a doctor for his condition?

Does he follow his treatment plan?

Is he, and you, in counseling?


exhausted_ma
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:41 AM
Yes, but for his ADD.


Quoting rgba:

Is he taking meds?

exhausted_ma
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:44 AM
He had been diagnosed bipolar. He is only on meds for ADD but he does follow that plan, we did counseling years ago and all she managed to say was I had anger issues because I opened up and he played it off, even though he told her he was the problem. It was horrible.


Quoting nuts4scouts:

Has your husband been diagnosed as bipolar by a doctor?

Is he being treated by a doctor for his condition?

Does he follow his treatment plan?

Is he, and you, in counseling?



exhausted_ma
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:46 AM
What gets me is he will degrade me then 5 minutes later he's fine and acts like nothing ever happened. If I'm still upset he tells me to stop being a bitch, then if I don't straighten up he becomes a total ass again.


Quoting wildflowerkej:

I agree, I went through a similar thing with my ex husband.  He would get mad at me and yell at me to the point where I would be curled up on the floor in a fetal position crying (I can't deal with confrontation).  I left his sorry butt and now will be divorced in about a week and a half.  I was a SAHM also.  I found a job the day that I left.  Feel around and see what the job market is like in you area, and put in applications so maybe you can find something before you're ready to leave.  So you have something to fall back on. But I would definitely leave.  It is never okay for that to happen.


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