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New to this group/need advice on my 6 year old daughter

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:00 PM
  • 6 Replies

Haven't been on this site in a long time. It has changed quite a bit. It helped me through a lot before and I'm happy to be back on it again.

My biggest concern to date is to find out if anyone else, as a single/dating mother, has this issue. My daughter is a great kid, haha, but the point is is that she is exceptionally good, listens and does what she's told, when I am single. I was in a relationship for the last two years and it was a constant fight with her to listen and do things i asked. We broke up recently (and we have been a little off and on over the last two years and this is exactly how she is everytime we broke up), and she is back to being the good child again. She says she loved my boyfriend/ex and his kids and doesn't seem to notice her attitude change but just strange to me. I understand she has issues with time being taken away from her mommy but i gave her just as much attention as i do now.

Anyway, Thank you for reading my babble. Appreciate any feedback! :)

by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:00 PM
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by Platinum Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:25 PM

you need to be more consistent with her.  Either be with this fellow or dont be with him.  It is very confusing for us adults so imagine a very immature not even fully developed brain trying to figure it out.  Does he stay in her life when you are broke up or is all contact blocked?

by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:01 PM
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She may have the same amount of attention but she sees you with other people and gets jealous. Pretty normal. She's not really old enough to evaluate her own actions.

Have you ever noticed that if you are doing nothing the kid(s) are playing fine in the other room. Then you get up to cook supper and they are suddenly under your feet demanding attention?

by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:56 PM

I agree with both posts. thank you for the feedback. And unfortunately he cuts off all ties to the relationship. We are not getting back together this time. It became an unhealthy relationship and I couldn't do the inconsistencies myself .:) and Absolutely! on the doing nothing vs doing something! I swear all children are hardwired to do that! haha.

by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 10:11 AM

I agree with the jealousy issue. She has had your constant attention when you're single.

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by Bronze Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:27 AM
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Have you considered that PART of the probelm may be your perception of her behavior, as opposed to her actually being that radically different?

Think about it....if you are trying to make a good impression on someone, you are more sensitive to any behavioral displays that aren't exactly within your realm of "acceptable" behavior.  On the other hand, when it is just the two of you, you might be more willing to let certain things pass because they really don't bother you that much and no one else is observing the behavior.

Additionally, it isn't possible that you can be giving her "just as much attention" when there are others around.  Your focus isn't on her, it is on the conversation with the boyfriend, making your own good impression on his child.  You are distracted by trying to get everyone to blend well and smoothing over any conflicts, etc.  It really isn't the same as the two of you having a normal day.

by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 2:49 PM

That is true! I never thought of it that way. The part about his kids though, we only had them every other weekend, sometimes during the week in summer and they are both teenagers so they do their own thing. But everything else seems pretty spot on if I actually think about it, which I have. Thank You for your response!!

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