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Help am I hurting my 19 month ?

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 2:23 AM
  • 67 Replies
Help am I hurting my 19 month by letting her cry herself to sleep at bed time? My daughter is great and when she starts rubbing her eyes around 9pm I get her in her nightgown and give her done warm milk in a sippy cup and off to her room we go. I put a movie on for her and lay her down... But once the milks gone she screams and screams till she falls a sleep.. If I go in a comfort her a little and refill her cup she quotes till that one is done and her screaming fest begins again... Should I let continue this behavior or go get her out and let her play till she falls a sleep?? I don't know what to do? ? ? I don't want to be damaging her emotionally and that's what all the books seem to say. I've been reading that when u leave a kid crying they only fall a sleep from because they have given up all hope of being rescued and it teaches them that they are just not worthy of ur attention ... Please help
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 2:23 AM
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by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 2:34 AM
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Get rid of the tv first and foremost, it's a stimulant , which is why she is still awake after the sippy is empty. A sound machine ( rain works great here and one of those nite brute pillows that show stars for 20 min. We also have a lullaby play that shuts of in 20 min. Just get rid of tv first. Read to her as part of the routine. We swear by the rain sound! In fact the power went out last week and cut it off . I didn't notice until he called for me THREE times . Then I heard the silence and said " oh your rain isn't on! After I got it back.... No more noise.

If you just HAVE to get a refill, it should be no more than a quarter cup.

I have to reiterate that a tv at bedtime is a horrible idea. That's what is keeping her awake and stimulated.

I know we all do the best we can, good luck
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 2:47 AM
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If she always starts rubbing her eyes around 9, back things up so you're laying her down by then or before, not just starting. And no tv. Any electronics just before bed are a bad idea. For anyone, not just kids. Plus you don't want to make her so used to it she *has* to have something on to fall asleep.

Create a routine that doesn't involve a movie and start earlier so she's laying down, lights out when she would normally start rubbing her eyes.

Little ones get overtired easy and it makes it hard for them to sleep. My 1yo was waking every 20 minutes after getting her down until I moved her bedtime an hour earlier. Now she sleeps 5-6 hours before needing me again. Since baby was going to bed earlier I started my 5yo an hour earlier, too. She's gone from fighting, crying, kicking walls, yelling for me, and just generally making me want to pull my hair out for 2 hours every. single. night., to getting up maybe once to use the restroom but otherwise falling asleep within 15-20 minutes of lights out.
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by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:00 AM
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I agree with the other moms about the tv. It is not soothing to her. Perhaps it is for some kids, but obviously not for yours. I also agree that she needs to start to bed earlier.

Try slowing down the day. Meaning that you wrap things up before bedtime. Let her see you cleaning up before bed, put her in her night gown, brush her gums and teeth. Let her have a very small cup of water (not milk), then read her a story or two. The snuggling that you do with her while you read will have a soothing effect. I also suggest a bath before bedtime, and to massage lavender baby lotion on her to really relax her. She will love it. It will take more time, but she needs for things to start slowing down and being quieter before bed. I bet she will fall asleep fast. Good luck. 

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:07 AM
I completely agree about the TV .. But it did seem to sooth her for the last 9 months but now the last 2 weeks she just cries her self to sleep
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:09 AM

How long are you letting her scream/cry?  You do not say.  If you are letting her for over 20 minutes then yes you could be hurting her.   Every five minutes I would go in to soothe and rub dd's back at this age if she needed it.   I played soothing music and run a fan instead of tv.   Baby Einstein does have a lullaby dvd if you want that to play instead of something else.

by Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:12 AM
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I would get rid of the t.v first and foremost, but personally I wouldn't let my lo cry themselves to sleep.

I have a 20 month old son and I just lay next to him if he's having trouble falling asleep and it helps

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:16 AM
I have another question .. My 8 month old cries every time I put him down :( why is this??? He falls a sleep about 8:30pm and sleeps till 10:30 am the next morning w/out waking up and takes 1 nap about 3pm for 30mins ... If I try to give him another nap he screams..if I try to put him in his jumpers he screams... If I try to put him on his tummy time activity mat he screams.. If anyone try's to hold he screams .. Me & my husband are the only ones he's content with and he's only content if he's in our arms???
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:54 AM

That is very normal and the first of many separation anxiety phases he may go through. Do you get down on the floor with him to play?  He may not be a day sleeper but talk to your doctor about any concerns.  It sounds like he is getting enough sleep at night for his age so he will not need as many naps during the day.

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 5:36 AM

IMO of course she is just fine. You will know if something is wrong by the way she cries. For instance when my boy was around 11 months old sometimes he would not go to sleep as usual and would continue to cry but he ended up falling asleep. But one evening his cry wasn't right, it was high pitch and sounded panic. I opened the door to find he had caught his ankle in between the crib bars and was stuck. 

Try not to worry to much Mama she will be ok. 

IMO leaving the tv on can cause a serious issue. My step daughter was allowed to sleep with a movie every night when at her moms. She would go nuts if she couldn't  do the same at our house. Her mom essentially made her a TV binky.

 It's a waste of your electricity and can cause her to be unable to sleep in the dark which is the healthy way to sleep.  Starting healthy sleeping habits now WILL make a diffence in the future.

Due to my step daughters movie binky at a young age she now, at 15 has  insomnia four nights a week and she sleeps with the her overhead bedroom light on. Healthy sleeping habits are very important.

by Kelley on Jul. 30, 2013 at 7:31 AM
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The only thing hurting her is the milk in bed. Lactose is a sugar and is sure to cause cavities if you are not brushing her teeth after she is finished with it. She should have nothing but water after her teeth are brushed at night. The tv is overstimulating her and should be avoided an hour before you lay her down. The milk and the tv are soothing her every night and she must learn to soothe herself with your help.
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