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Annoyed..need advice

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:10 PM
  • 10 Replies

Hi everyone!

I am new to this group so please bear with my long story because I really need advice and its been bothering me the entire day..so here it goes..

I need your adivce about something that for the first time, I had an argument with another mom in my son's school camp.

My 6 year old son goes to summer camp in his school and it was reported to me by their group leader that one of his co-camper's mom scolded my son because allegedly my son and another boy were mean to her son and allegedly hit him. This was denied by the group leaders in camp. In fact, they find it hard to believe that my son will do such a thing because according to them, my son is one of the sweetest boys in their group. Plus, my son knows that hitting is not acceptable. They saw this mom pointing her finger at him and they immediately interrupted the incident and asked what happened. When they were trying to talk to her, she just walked away.  The group leader told me that my son was upset and was crying that day and they had to make extra effort for him to forget what happened and made that day extra fun for him, hence, my son forgot about it and did not mention it to when he came home.

So, when it was reported to me, I waited until I calmed myself down before I talked to her because I didnt want to have an argument with her, I think that's the adult way to do it, but she got so defensive to the point that she was questioning or insulting my son. Who in their right mind would talk to a 6 year old and yell at him like that? Its a fight between kids, all we have to do as parents is talk to our children. In short, it went from bad to worse and we just had to hang up. I never really wanted this to happen in the first place, the reason I called her was to tell her that if she has a concern regarding someone or my kid for that matter, she should have talked to the group leader so it can be addressed to me and I will be the one to discipline my son, not her. Better yet, she should have called me directly because they had playdates before and she knows my number. I just did not appreciate that she had to scold my son like that. I did talk to my son about it and he told me that he did not hit him, but confessed that him and another boy told her son that they did not want to play with him. 

Anyway, thank you everyone for reading this long story. I just really need an outlet to vent. All opinions (be it negative or positive) are appreciated.

Thanks!!!

by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Bmat
by Barb on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:19 PM

Wow. Bad situation. I think I'd consider taking my child out of the camp and  maybe trying to find some other camp he could go to. I'd probably ask him to make sure. Ask in a casual fashion- Are you OK about continuing to go to the camp?  Not making a big deal about it either way.

annechinky
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:26 PM
Thanks. The bad thing about this situation is that this kid goes to the same school as my son's. Either way, we will still see him and his mom.


Quoting Bmat:

Wow. Bad situation. I think I'd consider taking my child out of the camp and  maybe trying to find some other camp he could go to. I'd probably ask him to make sure. Ask in a casual fashion- Are you OK about continuing to go to the camp?  Not making a big deal about it either way.


ericahager2005
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:33 PM
1 mom liked this
Sounds like she was having a bad day and took it out on nearest targets your son and you. Not acceptable. I wouldn't pull him out of camp but group leader does need to talk to other mom and child.
annechinky
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:42 PM
Yeah, they told me they will talk to her. She was even denying that she yelled at my son but the group leader and supervisor said otherwise.


Quoting ericahager2005:

Sounds like she was having a bad day and took it out on nearest targets your son and you. Not acceptable. I wouldn't pull him out of camp but group leader does need to talk to other mom and child.

Bmat
by Barb on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:43 PM

I'd say that whether he continues the camp or not depends on if he wants to. I'd avoid the mom for sure during the school year.

teaspring
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:29 PM

Having a situation like that blows so much :(

Maybe invite them over for a playdate again and maybe over tea/coffee, you and she can mend fences while the boys play.  :)

AM-BRAT
by Amber on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:20 PM
Well only your son and her know what really happened right?

Try again to speak to her but be open to the fact that she may not have been 'the bad guy.'
ericahager2005
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 7:08 PM
Good. She probably was so stressed she didnt even realuze it or was embarrassed after. Kill her with kindness sometimes is best revenge and best examoke fir the kids.


Quoting annechinky:

Yeah, they told me they will talk to her. She was even denying that she yelled at my son but the group leader and supervisor said otherwise.




Quoting ericahager2005:

Sounds like she was having a bad day and took it out on nearest targets your son and you. Not acceptable. I wouldn't pull him out of camp but group leader does need to talk to other mom and child.


AbbyWalsh
by Bronze Member on Aug. 1, 2013 at 7:20 PM

It sounds to me like you handled everything properly.  The other mother is clearly not having a great day.  All I can say is hopefully she will calm down and there won't be any more to this incident.  Not to make excuses for her, but maybe there was something else going wrong in her life and she (incorrectly) took it out on your son and then you.  Try to be compassionate and not hold this against her, as long as it's an isolated event.

Since the boys have played together before, maybe your son was being influenced by the 3rd child to say he didn't want to play with this boy - which hurt the boy's feelings.  Little kids are pretty resilient and they'll probably be all playing together in a day or two if the adults stay out of it.  If the boys are able to move on, the adults should too.

Goddesswillow
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 7:22 PM

she is willing to yell at a kid but walk away from adults, that woman has some serious issues, seems to me like she never grew up and just wants some attention on her

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