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Should my babysitter...?

Posted by on Aug. 3, 2013 at 5:32 PM
  • 15 Replies
Should my babysitter make my 3 year old son clean up after himself when he pees on the couch or poops and makes a mess? i'm not sure how i feel about this, is this a constructive way of teaching him personal responsibility or is it damaging to him becoming fully potty trained? thoughts? she also had her fiance watch my son and he had my son spend three hours picking up books... is that an acceptable thing to have a 3 year old do? i typically keep a close eye on my son when cleaning and offer encouragement and try to make a game out of it instead of a punishment that he is set out to accomplish with no supervision and support until the job is done. what do you all think about these two issues?


by on Aug. 3, 2013 at 5:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JustMomToSM
by on Aug. 3, 2013 at 5:45 PM
1 mom liked this
Hi, i m adking my son to clean up the mess he did all the time (he s 4 now). At first we showed him (not playing actualy, but making it positive). He still says he s the only one working in this house:) lol. However, i ve never done it with pee or pooh - he sometimes wets his bed even now and all have been freated as accidents, no punishment or anything. We consider them part of life and move on, "asking his penis to wake him up if he s asleep". Hope this help:)
crwspringer
by Silver Member on Aug. 3, 2013 at 5:45 PM
2 moms liked this
You are paying her. You should be telling her what is and is not acceptable. If you don't like something you need to say something. Don't let her push you around.
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Mama_Gillogley
by on Aug. 3, 2013 at 5:51 PM

I work swing shift and unfortunately for me she is the ONLY person in town who does extended hours

Quoting crwspringer:

You are paying her. You should be telling her what is and is not acceptable. If you don't like something you need to say something. Don't let her push you around.



frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Aug. 3, 2013 at 6:21 PM
1 mom liked this

You need to tell her the rules of how you run the house and have her follow your example rather than making up any rules that you do not like.   

anotherandree
by Inga on Aug. 3, 2013 at 6:30 PM
1 mom liked this

As for the ptty training thing, that is exactly how we potty trained our last 2 kids.  I called it Potty Boot Camp and (for me) because it was done CONSISTENLY, day and night, they were both done, 100% in 5 days.  That being said, I am the one that decided it, and I would be PISSED if someone decided to do that without consulting me first.  A good baby sitter should be an extention of your rules and how you would caretake your child (with a bit more fun involved).  

To be honest, it sounds like you need to have a conversation with your sitter about how SHE is the sitter and she cannot delagate that authority without your permission.  Further, it should be like Disneyland at your house with a few more rules for safety.  She should be playing games and constantly engaging with him, not turning it into a work camp.  Regardless if it might be difficult to find someone else.  

strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on Aug. 3, 2013 at 9:56 PM
Yes its a great teaching tool my son stopped wetting the bed he was tired of doing laundry had just turned 4 i feel its fine but hes not my kid hugs
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Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Aug. 3, 2013 at 10:03 PM

Is he unhappy when you leave him with her? I don't think it's wrong to have him clean up but 3 hours seems excessive!

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Aug. 3, 2013 at 10:06 PM

Wow, must be a very small town. Have you advertised for someone else to babysit? A Grandma perhaps? You can do a background check and ask for references.



Quoting Mama_Gillogley:

I work swing shift and unfortunately for me she is the ONLY person in town who does extended hours

Quoting crwspringer:

You are paying her. You should be telling her what is and is not acceptable. If you don't like something you need to say something. Don't let her push you around.




momtodab
by on Aug. 3, 2013 at 10:31 PM
I think it's your child. You pay her. If your questioning what she is doing you need a new sitter. And cleaning up his potty accidents I think is wrong. He is learning. Kids are going to make mistakes. I works be pissed off about that
oahoah
by Bronze Member on Aug. 3, 2013 at 11:04 PM

I don't have a babysitter but I have always made my kiddos help with their messes, no matter what, they can understand "go get the towel" or whatever and as far as poop goes they usually made more of a mess so I'm the one that handled that but I did have them holding the trash can or whatever.  As for the books, I just have a hard time believing any kid would do anything for 3 hours, and how many books were there? Was it a problem because he wasn't listening or were they purposely dropping books out for him to put back?  Discipline and chores with babysitter/boyfriend can be touchy - I personally wouldn't want my babysitter's boyfriend to be around, it's too tempting for her to leave him alone and in our area we have had a lot of child abuse and sometimes leading to death because of the "boyfriend" (usually the mom's though, not the babysitters).  I would definitely talk to her about who is supposed to be watching your son and if you aren't comfortable with the chores then also talk to her about it. But I don't think 3 is too young to begin chores.

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