Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Age appropriate grounding?

Posted by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 9:51 PM
  • 14 Replies
How long do you think it's age appropriate to ground a 5 yo? Obviously exact punishment and length will vary by the behavior, but what would you consider the max for this age before it's not age appropriate?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 9:51 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:01 PM

Not more than a day I wouldn't think. A day is like a week to a 5 year old :)

Mommy2Phenley
by Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:07 PM
We kind of did a day, give or take. Incident was at 5:00pm and we grounded her from everything for the rest of the day, problem is that's only til bedtime at 8:00. But she had to clean instead of play and we said she doesn't get to do anything tomorrow either til her cleaning jobs are done. She dragged her feet all evening so she has plenty left to do tomorrow before getting to play. And no swimming all day tomorrow regardless.

Part of me worries I'm being too harsh and part of me still sees red and thinks she's getting off easy.


Quoting Lindalou907:

Not more than a day I wouldn't think. A day is like a week to a 5 year old :)


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:17 PM

2 days max , outdoor restrictions or computer time restrictions.   At this age i still used timeouts for more immediate consequences and then loss of computer for a day.  DD did not like it but understood we meant business.


PS  we only use one consequence at a time, we do not throw 3 consequences at a single offense.

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:37 PM

Sounds good to me. Is she sorry?


Quoting Mommy2Phenley:

We kind of did a day, give or take. Incident was at 5:00pm and we grounded her from everything for the rest of the day, problem is that's only til bedtime at 8:00. But she had to clean instead of play and we said she doesn't get to do anything tomorrow either til her cleaning jobs are done. She dragged her feet all evening so she has plenty left to do tomorrow before getting to play. And no swimming all day tomorrow regardless.

Part of me worries I'm being too harsh and part of me still sees red and thinks she's getting off easy.


Quoting Lindalou907:

Not more than a day I wouldn't think. A day is like a week to a 5 year old :)




Mommy2Phenley
by Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:39 PM
This was bad. And more like 6 offenses. Including calling me stupid, spitting in my face, and slapping me. And jumping in a pool without her floats and against my direct instruction not to and swimming out to the middle of the pool. She can swim but can't turn herself around without a wall or a person to catch her for a second. No one was in the pool and I was a few feet away and she turned and jumped in and swam away from me into deeper water when I jumped in after her.


Quoting frndlyfn:

2 days max , outdoor restrictions or computer time restrictions.   At this age i still used timeouts for more immediate consequences and then loss of computer for a day.  DD did not like it but understood we meant business.


PS  we only use one consequence at a time, we do not throw 3 consequences at a single offense.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:50 PM

Ok so the no swimming one needs to stay since she disobeyed rules of safety you had set up.  For sassing and physical violence she would be in her room for the night and then tomorrow she can sit in the house doing nothing other than her regularly scheduled household chores.

i wonder what set off her behavior bomb  WOW  I would be upset like you before the calm logical side kicked in.   Another natural consequence for the talking back and hitting would be a handwritten I'm sorry mommy for being mean to you.

Quoting Mommy2Phenley:

This was bad. And more like 6 offenses. Including calling me stupid, spitting in my face, and slapping me. And jumping in a pool without her floats and against my direct instruction not to and swimming out to the middle of the pool. She can swim but can't turn herself around without a wall or a person to catch her for a second. No one was in the pool and I was a few feet away and she turned and jumped in and swam away from me into deeper water when I jumped in after her.


Quoting frndlyfn:

2 days max , outdoor restrictions or computer time restrictions.   At this age i still used timeouts for more immediate consequences and then loss of computer for a day.  DD did not like it but understood we meant business.


PS  we only use one consequence at a time, we do not throw 3 consequences at a single offense.



Mommy2Phenley
by Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:51 PM
I think she is now, but that's only been in the last 15 minutes, almost 4 hours after. We finally got enough cooperation to have a serious talk about how dangerous what she did was and how I need to know she will mind me or we can't do fun things like the pool.


Quoting Lindalou907:

Sounds good to me. Is she sorry?



Quoting Mommy2Phenley:

We kind of did a day, give or take. Incident was at 5:00pm and we grounded her from everything for the rest of the day, problem is that's only til bedtime at 8:00. But she had to clean instead of play and we said she doesn't get to do anything tomorrow either til her cleaning jobs are done. She dragged her feet all evening so she has plenty left to do tomorrow before getting to play. And no swimming all day tomorrow regardless.



Part of me worries I'm being too harsh and part of me still sees red and thinks she's getting off easy.





Quoting Lindalou907:

Not more than a day I wouldn't think. A day is like a week to a 5 year old :)







Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mommy2Phenley
by Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:57 PM
The handwritten note is a good idea. Would it be too late to do that tomorrow since she's already in bed for tonight?

We have a few suspicions for her behavior. A new kid she's been hanging out with that I have since heard a lot of bad about, from multiple sources, and I have a big surgery coming up.

Direct set offs, no idea. We always go from the hot tub straight out without the pool again, she knew it was almost time to go, and there were no new or different things happening. It was the same as any other time we leave the pool.


Quoting frndlyfn:

Ok so the no swimming one needs to stay since she disobeyed rules of safety you had set up.  For sassing and physical violence she would be in her room for the night and then tomorrow she can sit in the house doing nothing other than her regularly scheduled household chores.

i wonder what set off her behavior bomb  WOW  I would be upset like you before the calm logical side kicked in.   Another natural consequence for the talking back and hitting would be a handwritten I'm sorry mommy for being mean to you.

Quoting Mommy2Phenley:

This was bad. And more like 6 offenses. Including calling me stupid, spitting in my face, and slapping me. And jumping in a pool without her floats and against my direct instruction not to and swimming out to the middle of the pool. She can swim but can't turn herself around without a wall or a person to catch her for a second. No one was in the pool and I was a few feet away and she turned and jumped in and swam away from me into deeper water when I jumped in after her.





Quoting frndlyfn:

2 days max , outdoor restrictions or computer time restrictions.   At this age i still used timeouts for more immediate consequences and then loss of computer for a day.  DD did not like it but understood we meant business.


PS  we only use one consequence at a time, we do not throw 3 consequences at a single offense.





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Cozie_Sisika458
by Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:57 PM
Depending on what my DD5 did, I send her to her room, make her clean it not play. And then she goes to bed early too. The most I punished her is probably a half a day or longer from.like 7am to 3pm in her room for coloring on her wall and getting into food in middle of the night. Plus I made her wash the wall off with a wash cloth too. I used Mr clean eraser after she scrubbed a while.
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 11:11 PM

I would do the handwritten note for next bad choice she makes.  I guess you will need to limit her contact with the bad influence.  I am thinking the stress could cause her to act out with your upcoming surgery.  My dd has acted out when her friend whom i was watching would egg her on.  Told them both consequences will be given , usually a time out or loss of treat like staying home instead of going on an outing.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN