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Teacher crossing the line with spouse

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I think my daughters teacher has been crossing the line with my husband.

We were all getting along and we went out a couple times together as couples(me with my husband and her husband and her). We were ok until I notice that my husband and her were getting too friendly.  There was a time that he sent her inappropriate txt mess. He said that he didnt see it wrong bc he sent it to her husband too. There has been txt mess of her being drunk and txting my husband. for example; " im so drunk my husband is making fun of me, fix it" he replies " ur awesome" " im working bring me one" she replies " i cant, im too drunk to drive" . There was another time when she called him drunk and told him about her sex life. I dont know details of how the convo went. I found out bc she comes up to me and tells me that her friend told her that maybe she call my husband and apologize. I stood shock. i told her that he didnt mention anything to me so i dont he was paying attention. I know i did wrong by doing that. Another time we were at a party and she was drunk once again. She was all over him. not literally but was talking to him and calling him to do favors for her.  I asked my husband to serve me some pasta and he tells me to stop being stupid and get myself. She asked him to make her a grilled cheese and he made it for her....WTF. sO I had it after that party. I told him to back off and to give me my place.  He says that im over reacting. he said that the only thing he sees that its wrong was of him not serving me some pasta on the table and going and making her a grilled cheese. Sohe began to back off. A couple wks ago. my husband was in activity with her husband and she called. She asked to speak to my husband. SHe tells him that shes been trying to get in contact with my husband and me to tell us about a school activity. OK.. so the problem is that she never called me. She called my husband but he missed the call. SHE NEVER CALLED ME!!!  I think that was an excuse to get his attention back...what do u guys think? what should i do????????? Shes going to b my daughters teacher again this yr.

 these r just a few examples. Im so annoyed. I feel like shes playing saint and my husband is liking the attention and not giving me myplace.


by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 10:50 AM
Replies (21-30):
by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 3:12 PM
1 mom liked this

We are on the exact same page about this!  

He knows I have his friend's number and a few times he has asked me to text him to ask him what time he would be coming by or something and every time I use his phone to do it.  (like if he was in the shower or something)

He had this girl friend that I could tell had a thing for him.  She would tell me all the time how lucky I was to have him and that she was jealous of me (she was married too). When we started getting serious she would text him or go over when I wasn't there all the time.  I put a quick stop to that.  They don't even talk anymore.  I think she tried to make a move on him once (when she started to cheat on her husband) and he has never talked to her since.  Doesn't even have her number anymore.  He told me I was right and made sure to never put himself in that predicament ever again with respect to me and the possibility that her being aggressive would most likely start something and in the long run ruin what he had always wanted. 

I've known my DH for 13 years and he always had a crush on me but I was with someone.  He tells me all the time that now that he finally has me he will never do or put himself in a situation that would jeopardize what we have now. 

Quoting jasonadamvowell:

Yes, I feel that regardless of how much you trust each other someone will always try to screw up a good thing and if you don't put yourself into the position for someone to misinterpret your actions there will never be a problem when it comes to fidelity

Quoting spizzarks1978:

This is how my DH and I are.  I get the woman's number he has the mans number.  I do have one of his guy friend's number but that's only because he got it form a mutual girl friend to coordinate a surprise party for my DH.  That is the only time we have texted each other. 

Quoting jasonadamvowell:

That is why in my relationship women stick with women and the men stick with the men... I don't call text or hang out with my husband's friends... I befriended their wife. So that when we go out there are no moments of feeling like that... maybe talk to her.. tell her you feel insulted that she didn't notify you of the said activity and perhaps ask her to call you first for any future activities?

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 7:38 AM
We have several teachers in our family. They all agree that unless you were friends prior to your daughter being her student, it was crossing a line for her to foster a friendship in which she goes out drinking with u guys. There have to be professional boundaries

Talk to your DH about it. We have lots of friends of opposite sex and have no problem with it. We don't have those issues with inappropriate behavior. They are all coworkers we have things in common with. We would never see a teacher socially due to the appearance of preferential treatment.

Quoting a_and_j_momma:

I agree

Quoting Decemberlov:

Why did you start hanging out with this teacher? Did you know her previously? Seems weird.

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:18 AM
This seems sooooo inappropriate on so many different levels. If you guys already knew her and were friendly with herr before she became your daughters teacher then that's one thing, if not, I think hanging out with her, double-dating with her is just weird. Cut off all communication with then and request your daughters removal from her class. I would seriously hate for your daughter to be involved in this forseeable mess!

Quoting echoedsentiment:

Quit getting drunk and partying so much with this woman?

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:22 AM

 That's very inappropriate IMO

by Gold Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:40 AM
1 mom liked this

 I would have my child switched to another class and cut of the relationship.  I would not hang out with my kid's teacher.  Even if the two dh's are friends.  Let the two of them hang out without the ladies.  Very inappropriate.  Very unprofessional on her part as well.

by Amber on Aug. 28, 2013 at 12:01 PM


But OP, seems like you're making your own bed here. I would've never opened that door. And DH would be f*cking smashed in his face by now.

You need to make a better decision or deal with the consequences. It's like dating your boss seems like, just a line you don't cross. Jmo though, Idk.

Quoting SweetLuci:

 First, I would call the principal and asked to have your daughter placed in another class. Just say you want her to get the benefit of different teachers. Then she'll have no reason to call. If she asks why, tell her the same thing, and just smile. Don't get into a discussion with her, cut it off.

by Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 1:02 PM

Please request that your daughter is placed with another teacher.   If anyone gets wind of this information, there can be an indirect repercussion on your child.  As for your husband and this lady, please communicate to them about your concerns and why there should be boundaries and make sure that it is spelled out in black and white.  I find that many people have no filter about appropriated behavior.  I personally would  distance myself from hanging around her. 

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 2:45 PM

I don't think this has anything at all to do with the woman's job.

You need to talk to your husband about this, not her. What she does, outside teaching your child, is genuinely none of your business.

If you are accusing your husband of something inappropriate, it also has nothing at all to do with her: she didn't stand anywhere and vow anything to you.

by Platinum Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 3:30 PM

 I agree their relationship is not healthy.  You and your husband need to talk to her and he needs to tell her not to text or call him anymore.  If she cannot follow those rules you need to go to the principal and have your dd moved to another class.

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 4:24 PM
If the two guys have been car meet friends, just let the two of them go back to that. Both wives out of the picture, no grey areas. Ithink your husband is being a dick frankly, he's loving the attention and not caring about your feelings. I'd get your daughter out of her class, change both your cell numbers and give the school office the new ones, not that couple. Their games may just cost you your marriage. Where will your daughter be then. Cut them off, tell your husband to cut it out or else and start afresh.
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