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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Dating Age

Posted by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 10:25 AM
  • 22 Replies

Hello Everyone,

When our daughter was first born my husband and I decided that we would not let her date until she was 16 years old. She is 14 years old now, and is a freshman in high school this year, she is a 4.0 student plays sports and also had her first job this summer. I do believe we have raised her to make good decisions and think we should maybe rethink letting her date, besides it seems like at her age, dating is just texting and talking on the phone. However I am not 100% on board with this, as last year in her middle school there was a girl her age that was pregnant. Again I know my daughter will make good decisions, but I want her to focus on school and sports and not have to worry about boys. I was not able to date until I was 15 years old, but didn't have a real boyfriend until I was 16. Also keep in mind we have always told her she can have friends that are boys and she does, we just do not want her to have a serious boyfriend.  Are we being to over protective?  

by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 10:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
illogicalkat
by Bronze Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 10:32 AM
1 mom liked this

If "no dating" also excludes attending parties and school dances, then yes. Otherwise, no, you are not being overprotective.

I think it is fair to say that she should not have a serious boyfriend (school is more important, anyway.) I also feel it is reasonable to allow her to go out with a group of friends, and it is reasonable to allow her to go to Homecoming. Those activities would allow her to be social, and also would help avoid her being labeled as "that girl whose parents won't let her do anything."

Kingermom
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 10:41 AM

Yes she is allowed to go to school dances and such and we have always told her we don't mind her going with groups of friends both boys and girls on outtings. She does talk to boys and has a few really good friends that are boys that my husband and I both like and think they are very nice. Thank you I feel better.

crwspringer
by Silver Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 10:44 AM
I am also planning on 16. But my definition of a date is going out alone with a boy.
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Kingermom
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 10:51 AM
1 mom liked this

That is a very good way of putting it, I will talk to my husband about this, I think dating should definded as going out alone with a boy, when she goes to dances and such for school it would always be with a group of friends. Thanks

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 10:56 AM
16 for a boyfriend. Ok to go to school dances etc. Mine actually did not get boyfriends till they were 17. I was so happy. They were picky and were not putting out for guys.
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valrubio
by Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 10:56 AM

I say no. My girls will not be allowed to date til they are 18, period.

Bleacheddecay
by Silver Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 12:34 PM
1 mom liked this

No. IMO, you are not being over protective. People who usually make good decisions often fail when they are in "love" or when sex is involved.

alexis_06
by AnnaLisa on Aug. 30, 2013 at 1:34 AM

 i dont think you are being overprotective!  sounds like youve done a great job!!

RandiBear
by Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 1:50 AM
1 mom liked this

DH and I set the rules for dating at group dates from 13-16 and if our kids show responsibility they can then begin going on private dates. However, we do not encourage "pairing off" at all. Date around, but don't get into a serious relationship. The teenage years are about exploring and discovering who you are, not focusing on a relationship. I dated in highschool and I regret being tied to one person. DH didn't and he loves that he doesn't have to run into exs all the time. He dated after highschool, just not during. That's what I would prefer, but we are not specifically prohibiting pairing off, just not encouraging.

jojo_star
by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 2:36 AM
I take my kids and dating on a base by base business. My 17 year old has been dating his girlfriend, also 17, for two and a half years. My 15 year old son starting dating his boyfriend this past summer, when he was still 14. My almost 16 year old daughter and 12 year old son aren't interested, and 12 is too young to date, but I'd let my daughter date if she wanted to. To me, having a set age is stupid, just because a child is 16 doesn't mean they are ready to date, and just because they are 15 doesn't mean they aren't. My oldest and his gf are very serious, and that's fine with me, it's what they want. I'm not going to forbid something just because I think I know best. I've only ever had one boyfriend, my husband. I was 18 when we met and married, and in college. I have no regrets.
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