Why does it hurt so much? Was I in the wrong?
So... I met this girl about 5 years ago, at a mutual friend's birthday party. (Keep in mind, I live in a very small town, everyone knows everyone & their business.)
Her & I hit it off right away... I've never "clicked" like this with another female. (EVER.)
We got along great, I considered her my best friend. I cared about her & her children very much.
Well, as the years went by, she started revealing things to not only myself, but other mutual friends (including my sister) about her marriage.
Her now ex-husband was very abusive, physically, mentally, & emotionally.
One day, after an attempt to leave her husband & going back to him, I confided in a mutual friend, (whom already knew the whole story) that I was extremely concerned for her & her children.
She told us both a story about her ex grabbing her by her hair & repeatedly slamming her head into a desk while she was holding their daughter (who was about 2 at the time) I was genuinely concerned for her & her children, I was afraid one day I would wake up, to find out she was dead & he killed her.
This is someone I loved, I cared about.
Well... apparently this mutual "friend" told some co-workers what I said, and it got back to the friend.
She got upset & although I never had a chance to speak with her myself, I heard things she said through my sister & She was PISSED because in her mind I was "gossiping" about her situation, & that she hated me.
I can't get this woman off my mind.... she has since left her ex-husband for good & has been dating a really great guy.
I want so badly to re-gain our friendship. But I feel like I destroyed any chance of that happening....
I saw her comment on a mutual friends' post, and I instantly broke down in tears.
I miss her. I miss her girls. I miss the fun we had, the laughs we shared, the songs she played on guitar & I sung for her..... I just miss her.
I sent her a message & told her I was sorry for the mis-understanding, & the fact we never had a chance to talk it out..... that I never intended to hurt her, & that I miss her very much.....
There is a feeling I can't get past, that she will not respond. I don't know what I can say or do at this point for her to hear me out. I didn't mean to hurt her, I didn't mean to "gossip", I was honestly concerned for her & her children, and the only reason I spoke of it, is because the friend already knew the whole story.....
Should I just let it go? Should I fight for our friendship? Was I wrong to speak about her situation?
I don't know how to fix this... or if I even can....
Any insight? I'm a horrible sad mess right now.