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Maybe I'm crazy?!

Posted by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:13 AM
  • 8 Replies

I have a 9 yr old dd, who by the way is going on 25, and I am pretty sure she either has regressed back to toddler days or just wants extra attention. I don't know what to do with her at this point. Bedtime has become a HUGE issue in the last few months. At the start of the school year last year she was sleeping in her own bed, no tv, and only a nightlight on. Since about April or May of this year, she has been screaming every night, using a tv, a nightlight, and the bathroom light, as well as sleeping in her 5 year old sisters bed, every single night. I have asked her why, and she sometimes says shes scared, of what, she says she doesnt know. Other times she just says she cant sleep in the dark alone, or that she doesnt know why she is doing it. Last night was especially difficult bc her sister wasnt home, she cried for two hours, then need headache relief, and still said she couldnt sleep. She finally calmed down at 1230am. I have made so many accomodations for her with no regard to how her sister wants to sleep, and it doesnt seem to make any difference. 


Any other moms with bedtime troubles please tell me what you would do.

I refuse to beat my child, spanking only reinforces fear, so alternative options are appreciated!!

by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:13 AM
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Replies (1-8):
AngelSinger
by Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:19 AM

This is new behavior, and something sounds off. Did she maybe see a scary movie or TV show? Did one of her classmates suffer a death in the family? Is she being bullied?

Because you've asked and she seems unable to explain herself, I would take her to a therapist. Go to the school counselor, if her school has one. She needs help, and punishment will not get it for her. 

Good luck.

elkmomma
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:25 AM
1 mom liked this

Since this has been an ongoing issue; she probably needs to see a councilor.    Not sure why this issue would require a spanking or any other type of punishment. 

Proud2bamomma
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:27 AM


Now that you mention it, a few months back a neighbor friend, who is 11 (too old for her I know), spent the night, during that night apparently they were telling scary stories, I found out the next day and told the little girl she cant tell my dd stories bc we dont believe in ghosts and witches or whatever, thats neither here nor there, but it worked for the moment. My dd also told me last year she wouldnt go to the school bathroom bc the girls tell the "bloody mary" story in there. I explained to her that those stories arent real and they are just trying to scare the other kids, and I assumed that was enough. Now she doesnt say shes scared anymore, she just says she cant sleep in her own bed, or in her own room. I feel bad bc I dont want her to be afraid, but at the same time, I cant let her scream all night or keep lights on bc her sister shares the same room and wont be able to sleep.

Quoting AngelSinger:

This is new behavior, and something sounds off. Did she maybe see a scary movie or TV show? Did one of her classmates suffer a death in the family? Is she being bullied?

Because you've asked and she seems unable to explain herself, I would take her to a therapist. Go to the school counselor, if her school has one. She needs help, and punishment will not get it for her. 

Good luck.



AngelSinger
by Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:39 AM

It's possible she is having vivid nightmares. Some people dream far more vividly than others. I myself am like that. I witnessed something traumatic at her age. I couldn't sleep, couldn't be alone at night. I still dream about it, thirty years later. I wish my parents had gotten me some help, but back then you were told the best thing to do was to return to normal as if nothing had happened, and the routine would be reassuring and a cure-all. Not for me, alas. And not for your child. 

Please get her to a counselor. It may be these girls are bullying her by scaring her frequently. It could be something else entirely. You will never know, and she will not get better, until you get her some help.

Quoting Proud2bamomma:


Now that you mention it, a few months back a neighbor friend, who is 11 (too old for her I know), spent the night, during that night apparently they were telling scary stories, I found out the next day and told the little girl she cant tell my dd stories bc we dont believe in ghosts and witches or whatever, thats neither here nor there, but it worked for the moment. My dd also told me last year she wouldnt go to the school bathroom bc the girls tell the "bloody mary" story in there. I explained to her that those stories arent real and they are just trying to scare the other kids, and I assumed that was enough. Now she doesnt say shes scared anymore, she just says she cant sleep in her own bed, or in her own room. I feel bad bc I dont want her to be afraid, but at the same time, I cant let her scream all night or keep lights on bc her sister shares the same room and wont be able to sleep.

Quoting AngelSinger:

This is new behavior, and something sounds off. Did she maybe see a scary movie or TV show? Did one of her classmates suffer a death in the family? Is she being bullied?

Because you've asked and she seems unable to explain herself, I would take her to a therapist. Go to the school counselor, if her school has one. She needs help, and punishment will not get it for her. 

Good luck.




anxiousschk
by Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:42 AM
1 mom liked this

This.  

I know it might sound like doing this will only give her more attention and it might seem like an over reaction.  However, if you feel her behavior is genuine (and if it was such a dramatic switch as you describe and it's been consistent each night) then I think it's time for a therapist. 


Quoting AngelSinger:

This is new behavior, and something sounds off. Did she maybe see a scary movie or TV show? Did one of her classmates suffer a death in the family? Is she being bullied?

Because you've asked and she seems unable to explain herself, I would take her to a therapist. Go to the school counselor, if her school has one. She needs help, and punishment will not get it for her. 

Good luck.



jbyrd898
by Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:48 AM

I had really bad night terrors around that age. I couldnt sleep after having them. I would reccommend a counselor.

Bmat
by Barb on Sep. 2, 2013 at 11:24 AM

A 9 year old, she may be starting hormonal changes.  I'd let her have the lights on and sleep with her sister if she likes. The crying when the sister was away seems excessive. I think I'd get the TV out of her room, not as a punishment, but to reduce the stimulation she receives.  If she throws a fit and cries,  I'd comfort her for a little while and tell her you love her, and that she can cry if she feels like it until she feels she has cried enough. If this continues, mention it to her doctor.

Mommy2justone
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 11:34 AM

How about some sleepy time tea?

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