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undocumented fathers

Posted by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:01 PM
  • 16 Replies

Father's where paternity is not established and there is no CO who do you say whose fault that is? mom or dad's? Also do you think when there is no paternity or CO the father should have a say in the child's life or be able to help with decision making? Why or why not? 

by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jojo_star
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:02 PM
My son's biological father isn't and never will be listed or established, he doesn't even know about my son. No, when the bio father isn't around, or for one reason or another the mother feels it's best to keep him out of the picture, he should have no rights.
AAP1988
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:08 PM

I think a guy should know if they have a child around. I think it is wrong of you to not tell the father. If you told him and then neither you nor him decided to get a CO and file paternity then that would be on you. 


Quoting jojo_star:

My son's biological father isn't and never will be listed or established, he doesn't even know about my son. No, when the bio father isn't around, or for one reason or another the mother feels it's best to keep him out of the picture, he should have no rights.



jojo_star
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:09 PM
You have no idea why I didn't tell him, and no, it isn't wrong. He has no right to know about my son, and it is in my son's best interest that he never find out.

Quoting AAP1988:

I think a guy should know if they have a child around. I think it is wrong of you to not tell the father. If you told him and then neither you nor him decided to get a CO and file paternity then that would be on you. 



Quoting jojo_star:

My son's biological father isn't and never will be listed or established, he doesn't even know about my son. No, when the bio father isn't around, or for one reason or another the mother feels it's best to keep him out of the picture, he should have no rights.




Bleacheddecay
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:10 PM

There are certainly cases where the child would be far better off to never know the father. I wish I had done that for my first child.

AAP1988
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:12 PM

So he was good enough for you to bed down with but not good enough to know about his son? 


Quoting jojo_star:

You have no idea why I didn't tell him, and no, it isn't wrong. He has no right to know about my son, and it is in my son's best interest that he never find out.

Quoting AAP1988:

I think a guy should know if they have a child around. I think it is wrong of you to not tell the father. If you told him and then neither you nor him decided to get a CO and file paternity then that would be on you. 



Quoting jojo_star:

My son's biological father isn't and never will be listed or established, he doesn't even know about my son. No, when the bio father isn't around, or for one reason or another the mother feels it's best to keep him out of the picture, he should have no rights.






bellasmom32510
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:16 PM

My DH is not listed on my SD's birth certificate. BM is legally married to someone else (she hasn't been with her legal husband in 18 years - SD is 13) they just never got divorced. DH tried to get her to divorce but there were tons of "reasons" she couldn't. In our state DH could not be put on the birth certificate. My SD lives with us, has for the last 4 years. He has raised her. I don't see it being an issue.

jojo_star
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:17 PM
No, he raped me.

Quoting AAP1988:

So he was good enough for you to bed down with but not good enough to know about his son? 



Quoting jojo_star:

You have no idea why I didn't tell him, and no, it isn't wrong. He has no right to know about my son, and it is in my son's best interest that he never find out.



Quoting AAP1988:

I think a guy should know if they have a child around. I think it is wrong of you to not tell the father. If you told him and then neither you nor him decided to get a CO and file paternity then that would be on you. 




Quoting jojo_star:

My son's biological father isn't and never will be listed or established, he doesn't even know about my son. No, when the bio father isn't around, or for one reason or another the mother feels it's best to keep him out of the picture, he should have no rights.








butterflymommy2
by Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:21 PM
I think you have a very valid reason not to tell the man ... Not that it was anyones business to know.. I understood what you meant by your first comment. As a mother you have every right to protect your child from the bio father.


Quoting jojo_star:

No, he raped me.



Quoting AAP1988:

So he was good enough for you to bed down with but not good enough to know about his son? 




Quoting jojo_star:

You have no idea why I didn't tell him, and no, it isn't wrong. He has no right to know about my son, and it is in my son's best interest that he never find out.





Quoting AAP1988:

I think a guy should know if they have a child around. I think it is wrong of you to not tell the father. If you told him and then neither you nor him decided to get a CO and file paternity then that would be on you. 





Quoting jojo_star:

My son's biological father isn't and never will be listed or established, he doesn't even know about my son. No, when the bio father isn't around, or for one reason or another the mother feels it's best to keep him out of the picture, he should have no rights.











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AbbyWalsh
by Bronze Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:24 PM


I'm just curious, does he have legal custody of her even though he's not listed anywhere as her biological father?  

GOOD FOR HIM stepping up and being at FATHER he should be!  She's lucky to have a father like that!

Quoting bellasmom32510:

My DH is not listed on my SD's birth certificate. BM is legally married to someone else (she hasn't been with her legal husband in 18 years - SD is 13) they just never got divorced. DH tried to get her to divorce but there were tons of "reasons" she couldn't. In our state DH could not be put on the birth certificate. My SD lives with us, has for the last 4 years. He has raised her. I don't see it being an issue.



bellasmom32510
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:49 PM

No he does not have "legal" custody however, BM is not on any paperwork at school, SD actually hasn't talked to her in 4 weeks, hasn't visited her since June, and BM gets her about 1 night every 6 or so weeks. We are working on getting DH on her BC and we have done a paternity test. BM pays no cs, hasn't ever.


Quoting AbbyWalsh:


I'm just curious, does he have legal custody of her even though he's not listed anywhere as her biological father?  

GOOD FOR HIM stepping up and being at FATHER he should be!  She's lucky to have a father like that!

Quoting bellasmom32510:

My DH is not listed on my SD's birth certificate. BM is legally married to someone else (she hasn't been with her legal husband in 18 years - SD is 13) they just never got divorced. DH tried to get her to divorce but there were tons of "reasons" she couldn't. In our state DH could not be put on the birth certificate. My SD lives with us, has for the last 4 years. He has raised her. I don't see it being an issue.





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