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Someone please help me....Any lawyers or people who know the law there?

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 11:13 PM
  • 10 Replies

I have moved out of state to get a better life for me and my girls by gaining employment and going to school. I am about to receive a promotion in a couple of months and have been staying with family, however we were supposed to be staying in a room at my grandmothers, but she has no extra room available and I have been in the living room with my daughter. My daughter sleeps in her playpen, but this is supposed to be temporary until I can get my own place once my pay increases in two months. My daughters father called child protective services against me, filing false accusations of the living environment being hazardous because I used to stand in the shower and wash my daughter as a young baby (she is now a year old and sitting up on her own so I now I can give her baths) I have witnesses around me and her everyday who know I am a very good mother and would never put my child in harms way, but the cps worker told me I have to have a place with a room for my daughter. Does anyone know what cps looks for ? If I have a trusted friend I can stay with until I get money to afford my place is that suffice if they have a three bedroom house and me and my daughter share a room? Or try to get a place I know i will not be able to afford? I am not sure what to do. I had a plan whereas in a couple of months I would be able to get a place. Can they just take her away like that? I am scare for me and my girls. My daughters' father has an anger problem, and has put his hands on me In October of last year. However the court probably will not count that because he was supposed to do counseling and we were supposed to reconcile differences for the best of our daughter. He apparently has a two bedroom one state away from me, trying to set up to simply take her away from me. I have allowed him visitation. He didn't want to come see her unless he was taking her back to his home state. I thought this was unacceptable because I did not want him to take her to an undisclosed address, and not know where she would be staying for the weekend. We do not have legal custody yet, so he can very well take her and not bring her back. Because I did not let him take her with him, he called child protective services and made false accusations saying that I do not change her pampers and I am hurt because I never thought something like this would happen. I want to know if I can not get my place right now, if anyone knows if it is okay to stay with close friends, who have an extra room in a townhouse until my pay increase. Any lawyers out there? I mean I am trying my best to find a place right now, but if I can save a little more to get what I need for me and my girls that would be great

by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 11:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Bmat
by Barb on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:26 AM

I hope you can find an answer.

Mommytoaangel
by on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:29 AM
Were u live gl an hope u get what ur looking for in answers
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Koam
by Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:07 PM
1 mom liked this
What state do you live in? You can go to your county's website and find out a bunch of information about cps requirements there. You can also call cps anonymously and ask, you don't have to give your name, you can call like you're asking about someone else.
AbbyWalsh
by Bronze Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:16 PM

The answer is in your question.  CPS told you what they want.  If you want more info, talk to your CPS worker.   Since you have a reasonable plan in place, see if CPS will give you some time to make it all happen.  If they do, just make darn sure it's all in place before the deadline.  Best of luck to you.

Quoting srmosby7:

I have moved out of state to get a better life for me and my girls by gaining employment and going to school. I am about to receive a promotion in a couple of months and have been staying with family, however we were supposed to be staying in a room at my grandmothers, but she has no extra room available and I have been in the living room with my daughter. My daughter sleeps in her playpen, but this is supposed to be temporary until I can get my own place once my pay increases in two months. My daughters father called child protective services against me, filing false accusations of the living environment being hazardous because I used to stand in the shower and wash my daughter as a young baby (she is now a year old and sitting up on her own so I now I can give her baths) I have witnesses around me and her everyday who know I am a very good mother and would never put my child in harms way, but the cps worker told me I have to have a place with a room for my daughter. Does anyone know what cps looks for ? If I have a trusted friend I can stay with until I get money to afford my place is that suffice if they have a three bedroom house and me and my daughter share a room? Or try to get a place I know i will not be able to afford? I am not sure what to do. I had a plan whereas in a couple of months I would be able to get a place. Can they just take her away like that? I am scare for me and my girls. My daughters' father has an anger problem, and has put his hands on me In October of last year. However the court probably will not count that because he was supposed to do counseling and we were supposed to reconcile differences for the best of our daughter. He apparently has a two bedroom one state away from me, trying to set up to simply take her away from me. I have allowed him visitation. He didn't want to come see her unless he was taking her back to his home state. I thought this was unacceptable because I did not want him to take her to an undisclosed address, and not know where she would be staying for the weekend. We do not have legal custody yet, so he can very well take her and not bring her back. Because I did not let him take her with him, he called child protective services and made false accusations saying that I do not change her pampers and I am hurt because I never thought something like this would happen. I want to know if I can not get my place right now, if anyone knows if it is okay to stay with close friends, who have an extra room in a townhouse until my pay increase. Any lawyers out there? I mean I am trying my best to find a place right now, but if I can save a little more to get what I need for me and my girls that would be great



nuts4scouts
by Bronze Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:18 PM

If you have two daughters, but only have the youngest with you, where is your older daughter?

You said that you were in a courtroom about your baby daddy's anger issues, and your children, yet you also said you do not have legal custody - who does?

Moving to another state, when custody is in dispute, without permission from the courts, was most likely not a good thing.

I suggest you look online for a Legal Aid facility near you. 

countrygirlkat
by Kathleen on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:33 PM

I would guess that if you rent a room from your friend and it is a large enough room for both you and your dd to have your own beds then that would be fine but you would have to show you were renting the room and not just moving from house to house sort of thing.  I could be wrong though.  I would talk to the cps worker and find out exactly what is needed for you to be in compliance with their requirements.  Don't you have more then one dd?  Where is the other one?

BreezeAlanna
by on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this

Alright sister let me give you the low down...

1. You do not have a legal custody agreement yet! DO NOT let him take your child , do not allow visitation! Why you ask? Because you do not have a legal custody agreement, custody falls under physical custody. AS IN, if he takes your child 'to lunch for a few hours' he can legally NOT BRING HER BACK. I know this to be fact because it happened to me, and I had to wait an entire month for an emergency court hearing.

2. You can cheaply settle an official parenting plan through mediation

3. Your ex is verbally abusive, you need to get yourself counseling through a women's DV shelter.

4.DCF/CPS cannot take your child that easily. They look for signs of neglect or abuse. You need to have food in your house, clean child, clean house, etc. Not that hard. Make sure she at least has a bed. 

5. The fact he has physically hit you has no bearing in your custody agreement in court.

6. Find a good lawyer who specializes in high conflict divorce and child custody. Read the book 'Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men' by Lundy Bancroft. 

nuts4scouts
by Bronze Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 1:59 PM

Quoting srmosby7:

My daughters father called child protective services against me, filing false accusations of the living environment being hazardous because I used to stand in the shower and wash my daughter as a young baby (she is now a year old and sitting up on her own so I now I can give her baths) 

Just wanted to add that I consider standing in a shower, washing a wet, soapy, slippery, baby, to be HIGHLY HAZARDOUS.

You are darn lucky you never dropped your child in the shower. A much safer way to bath your baby and you together is to sit down and hold the baby in your lap in the tub.

For a one year old, even if she can sit upright by herself, she will still need support in a full size tub. A baby bath seat, non-slip rubber mat, or even a towel folded under the child will help prevent her from slipping, sliding, and tipping over into the tub water. A child can drown in as little as 1 inch of water.

So_Devious20
by Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 2:06 PM
She can share a room with you. But I believe she has to have a seperate bed from you.
srmosby7
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 8:04 AM

I did also sit in the tub

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