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I don't want to give birth!

Posted by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:28 PM
  • 39 Replies

My husband and I have been married for four years and together for 8. He has a 21 year old from his first marriage and I love her as my own and no children of our own. When ever the topics of kids come up I am told by many people that I do not have kids, being a step parent does not count. I accept that that's  a lot of people opinion. Fine, but lately it's been a lot of mommy bullying, and its getting on my last nerve! Nearly on a daily basis it's " You guys have been married for a long time when are you going to have children?" "A step child does not count as yours" " You don't know love like when you have a child of your own flesh" . No matter what the excuse is, it's still not good enough. Why do parents think everyone wants to burst a kid from their loins??? I love my step daughter and I do not want a bio kid.

by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:50 PM
1 mom liked this

A step child DOES count. A child doesn't have to come from your body to love it and have a loving close relationship. What about people who foster or adopt? Are adoptive parents not real parents? Tell those people to MYOB!! Shut them down and don't contiune the conversation. It is your choice to be a parent or not and you are a parent to your step daughter. 

sabrtooth1
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:51 PM

Just tell people that you have accepted that you would be a terrible parent, especially to an infant and young child, since the thought of having a child growing in you, nauseates you.  That should shut them up.  And since you are SOOO against getting pregnant, it probably isn't that far from the truth anyway.

OHgirlinCA
by Silver Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:52 PM
1 mom liked this
The next time some idiot tells you that a stepchild does not count as a child of your own, ask them if they feel the same towards adoptive children.

Stupid people.

***shakes head***
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
countrygirlkat
by Kathleen on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:56 PM

I think many people think their way is the right way about so many things.  You see it all over this site and all over life.  That my way is the right way attitude bugs the heck out of me, lol.  I think that it is wonderful that you have married a man you love and in the process gained a child you love.  Ignore all the haters and going on being the good mom that you are!

countrygirlkat
by Kathleen on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:59 PM
4 moms liked this

That seems rather rude and uncalled for.  To me what she was saying is that she is happy in her marriage and happy with her daughter and has never felt the need to add more children to that.  People with single children say that all the time.  It doesn't sound at all like she would be a terrible mother to another child, seeing as she took a child that wasn't hers biologically and loved it like it was.  I think her point in the whole loins comment was to say that just because she didn't actually give birth to her doesn't mean she doesn't love her just as much. 

Quoting sabrtooth1:

Just tell people that you have accepted that you would be a terrible parent, especially to an infant and young child, since the thought of having a child growing in you, nauseates you.  That should shut them up.  And since you are SOOO against getting pregnant, it probably isn't that far from the truth anyway.


Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on Sep. 9, 2013 at 10:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell them shut up and mind their own business. I don't understand the obsession with other people's wombs.

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AbbeysMom2013
by Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 11:18 PM
If your happy who cares what anyone else has to say. I think it's great that you have an awesome relationship with your step child and that it is fulfilling.
Momofmenagerie
by Bronze Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 11:21 PM
My husband loves my son as his own... , they even said vows to each other at our wedding,
We decided to have a child together.., and I TRIED to tell him :-) that there's a lot of work in making another as good as we already had.

Don't let it stress you out. If your step daughter and you have a close relationship, having an infant will not change the way you feel ( if anything, it will make you long for when your child is more independent! Just ignore it , like play with your phone! If you do not have the desire to have children... Welp, that your choice as to what to do with your body just like everything else.

Mothers do not comprehend wives not wanting to be mothers... I was a mother for ten years and even I had trouble comprehending doing it all over again!
2lilmamas
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 11:45 PM
A step child does count. And if your not up for it then they need to respect it.
BatMom.
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 11:49 PM
Don't let that shit get to you. Ignorance isn't worth anyone's time.
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