Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Help me teach my possibly dyslexic and dysgraphic child :(

Posted by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 8:21 AM
  • 67 Replies
I'm trying to be patient, I feel so lost though. We are having her tested soon but I'm sure she has one or both of these issues. It runs in the family. What are some tried and true teaching methods you use? What are some good websites that will help me?

We spend 3+ hours on homework every day and its exhausting for both of us. At the end of the homework she basically looses whatever she learned. The next day we start from scratch or nearly so. It's horrible. She is in the third grade and her teacher told us at this rate she will have to repeat. Not so much because of her grades but the state reading test is comming up soon and if you fail you can't move on to fourth.

What drives me truely insane is she reads at or above her grade level at home! She understands the books because she tells me the plots. At school she is only allowed to read picture books and one or two liners because of her AR scores.



Edit: posted some examples of her writing. Page 4.


I talked to her principal the other day and apparent indiana doesn't recognize dyslexia as a learning disorder? The school system does not test for it. I have to get Independent testing which may or may not be covered by my insurance ( still looking into that) and it has to be 'significantly impairing' for her to receive school help. I looked into that and basically she has to fail a grade once or twice before they will do something. This is just sick. I am trying to figure out a way around things. I mostly want to get her exempt from the indiana IREAD because I know she will not pass it. If she fails she won't be allowed to move on to 4th. So far the only exemptions I have found to this test are failing 2 grade levels in elementary, a significant learning disability or if you are learning English as a second language.

I don't even know if I can get her tested now because of the cost if our insurance doesn't cover it. And what good will testing her be if she won't receive any help in school?

Maybe I'm just not seeing the obvious steps I need to take because all this is so overwhelming. :(
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 8:21 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 8:46 AM

Oooh, interesting question!  Okay...so describe her reading for me.  What happens if you give her a list of unrelated words to read?  Is there any difference when you give her a paragraph to read?  How did you determine that she reads "at or above reading level at home?" 

And how were things in 2nd grade?

 

norahsmommy
by Silver Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 8:56 AM
She is reading chapter books that have no pictures at home and is able to tell me in detail what is going on in the books. I've skimmed through them so I know she is actually reading and retaining what's going on. At school she is only allowed to read books like 'spot the dog' and 'biscuit'. The other kids make fun of her. It's sad.

I can give her a list of 20 spelling words and study them with her every day for 2 hours for a week and at the end of that week she not only can't spell most of the words she spells them differently each and every time. She also leaves out letters frequently or spells words with almost no vowels. If you say a word out loud to her the word she writes down will have no bearing at all on the word you gave her. He writing looks like a kindergarteners and practice does not make perfect with her.


It's not just reading and writing. She struggles with the concept of ''before and after', she has no clue what you are asking if you say " what was day before yesterday?" You can explain it a million times and she will seem to understand but the next day its gone. Over and under was a huge problem for her too but she finally got that one.






Quoting Bieg9093:

Oooh, interesting question!  Okay...so describe her reading for me.  What happens if you give her a list of unrelated words to read?  Is there any difference when you give her a paragraph to read?  How did you determine that she reads "at or above reading level at home?" 


And how were things in 2nd grade?


 


norahsmommy
by Silver Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 9:40 AM
Bump
countrygirlkat
by Kathleen on Sep. 10, 2013 at 9:45 AM

I would do the testing as soon as possible.  My sister has both her kids who are dyslexic and once she got them tested then a whole new world was able to be opened up and she was able to get them a private tutor who has done wonders with them and has also helped her and her husband help them too.  Also if you have her tested then you can get an IEP through the school that can help accomodate her special cirmcustances and accomodations can even be made for the state test more then likely.  Good luck. 

Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 10:07 AM

 

Oh, poor baby! I'm glad you're having her evaluated. And I'm very sad about the picture books.

I've taught third grade but most of what I learned about processing difficulties came from watching my girl learn to read/write/spell and observing the similarities to how my husband struggles with the same. I'm very lucky because (1) my girl is a hard worker and I don't think it EVER occurred to her to give up and (2) the teachers at the school never seemed to feel bound by rules when working with her. They employed their own intuition and got it right.

I've actually never sought a diagnosis for her because she's never failed anything. But I have no doubt she's got the dylexia bone in her head, just like the entirety of my husband's family.  She was pulled out for remedial reading in 2nd and part of 3rd grade. After that, she scored too high to qualify for the pull out. But the teachers in 3rd and 4th grades would send her to reading in place of any absent reading kids.

A characteristic of my girl's reading (that I've since seen in other kids who struggle) is a left to right back left skip ahead right flow. She goes back and forth within a sentence so much, it's damned brutal to listen to her! But essentially she's using the words she can manage to decode in order to figure out what the other words are. It's like using contest cues to the absolute max.

This is a learned coping skill that never would have developed had she been limited to picture books. 

If your child can comprehend a passage well, even though she miscues on many of the words in the passage if given in isolation, then that's something the teachers ought to pay close attention to.  They ought to tailor the teaching and the expectations to her specific needs.  State tests be damned.

My first bit of advice is to kick that 3 hours of homework to the curb.  What's going on that it'd take so long?  Does her homework go to school looking better than the classwork she brings home?

 

 

norahsmommy
by Silver Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 10:26 AM
Her homework last night was 6 worksheets with 8-10 questions each. It was rounding numbers to the nearest thousand, hundred, and ten. It included several story problems on each page. She can't seem to remember the steps she needs to take and she can't seem to find the number she needs to look at when they tell her what place needs to round. I sit with her and make sure she reads the instructions and that she comprehends them. I ask her every few problems or every problem what " what are you supposed to do here, ok, now what?" If I don't she gets lost and then will answer most questions wrong. But if I guide her a bit she does much better ( I never give her the answer). The work she brings home from school usually has 'redo' on it and the number of times she had to redo it before the teacher found it acceptable. She frequently has to give up recess in order to redo work. It still isn't very good.


After the six work sheets she was supposed to study spelling for 20 minutes and read for a half hour. The worksheets took from 3:30-6 pm and then this morning for a half hour or a little over. She did read last night and we practiced spelling but like always she can't spell the words even after a lot of practice.

I would say state tests be damned but even if she was getting A's in everything at school the state would not let her continue to the next grade level if she can't pass the state test.
It's rediculous but mandatory.

I don't really want to have her 'labeled' but I don't know what else to do. The other kids are horrid to her. They make fun of her for reading 'baby books'. She got asked yesterday if the book she had was too hard and if she needed help. The girl that asked then patted her shoulder and stuck a 'kick me' note to her. Dd really hates school now. She used to be so outgoing and now she gets flustered and nervous and she has told me she thinks she is stupid.

I've been wanted to get her tested for almost 3 years now but the school kept saying 'wait and see'. It's past time now. Way past.





Quoting Bieg9093: 
Oh, poor baby! I'm glad you're having her evaluated. And I'm very sad about the picture books.
I've taught third grade but most of what I learned about processing difficulties came from watching my girl learn to read/write/spell and observing the similarities to how my husband struggles with the same. I'm very lucky because (1) my girl is a hard worker and I don't think it EVER occurred to her to give up and (2) the teachers at the school never seemed to feel bound by rules when working with her. They employed their own intuition and got it right.
I've actually never sought a diagnosis for her because she's never failed anything. But I have no doubt she's got the dylexia bone in her head, just like the entirety of my husband's family.  She was pulled out for remedial reading in 2nd and part of 3rd grade. After that, she scored too high to qualify for the pull out. But the teachers in 3rd and 4th grades would send her to reading in place of any absent reading kids.
A characteristic of my girl's reading (that I've since seen in other kids who struggle) is a left to right back left skip ahead right flow. She goes back and forth within a sentence so much, it's damned brutal to listen to her! But essentially she's using the words she can manage to decode in order to figure out what the other words are. It's like using contest cues to the absolute max.
This is a learned coping skill that never would have developed had she been limited to picture books. 
If your child can comprehend a passage well, even though she miscues on many of the words in the passage if given in isolation, then that's something the teachers ought to pay close attention to.  They ought to tailor the teaching and the expectations to her specific needs.  State tests be damned.
My first bit of advice is to kick that 3 hours of homework to the curb.  What's going on that it'd take so long?  Does her homework go to school looking better than the classwork she brings home?
 
 
Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 11:00 AM

 

Quoting norahsmommy:

Her homework last night was 6 worksheets with 8-10 questions each. It was rounding numbers to the nearest thousand, hundred, and ten. It included several story problems on each page. She can't seem to remember the steps she needs to take and she can't seem to find the number she needs to look at when they tell her what place needs to round. I sit with her and make sure she reads the instructions and that she comprehends them. I ask her every few problems or every problem what " what are you supposed to do here, ok, now what?" If I don't she gets lost and then will answer most questions wrong. But if I guide her a bit she does much better ( I never give her the answer). The work she brings home from school usually has 'redo' on it and the number of times she had to redo it before the teacher found it acceptable. She frequently has to give up recess in order to redo work. It still isn't very good.


After the six work sheets she was supposed to study spelling for 20 minutes and read for a half hour. The worksheets took from 3:30-6 pm and then this morning for a half hour or a little over. She did read last night and we practiced spelling but like always she can't spell the words even after a lot of practice.

I would say state tests be damned but even if she was getting A's in everything at school the state would not let her continue to the next grade level if she can't pass the state test.
It's rediculous but mandatory.

I don't really want to have her 'labeled' but I don't know what else to do. The other kids are horrid to her. They make fun of her for reading 'baby books'. She got asked yesterday if the book she had was too hard and if she needed help. The girl that asked then patted her shoulder and stuck a 'kick me' note to her. Dd really hates school now. She used to be so outgoing and now she gets flustered and nervous and she has told me she thinks she is stupid.

I've been wanted to get her tested for almost 3 years now but the school kept saying 'wait and see'. It's past time now. Way past.





 

OMFG...rounding numbers!  I understand why they teach it.  But for so many kids, just doing the math is SO MUCH EASIER than rounding.  And kids learn just as much from doing 15 examples as they do from 50.  I would not wait for the results of the testing.  I would ask for some homework modifications right now.  If the teacher won't make a deal (either sending home less work or putting a one hour time limit on it) then go over her head.  And I'm not a fan of all those redos either.  Is this child getting any support in class at all? 

And as for the kids being rotten and that "kick me" sign...that's absolutely unacceptable and I think you and your husband should go have a chat about the atmosphere the teacher is encouraging in the room. It's time for her to be taken to task.

State tests...here in NY if you don't pass then you receive mandatory remediation, not retention.  Are you 100% that she'd be left back?  Also, can you opt out of the test?  There's a lot of folks here who already are doing this...many of them are teacher's kids! 

Either way, it sounds like there's every reason to believe she'll qualify for support after the evaluation is in.  I know a "label" sucks.  But really, these days about 1 in 4 kids goes through the office of special ed at one point or another.  Getting the label means getting the help.  If they come back with results you don't agree with, I'd say bite the bullet and go for a private evaluation.  That "wait and see" nonsense is because special ed services cost the district money.  So as long as she's sitting in her seat and not stabbing the other kids with her pencil, it's all the same to them to save a few bucks. 

Good luck.  I feel for you both!

 

norahsmommy
by Silver Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 11:25 AM
If she fails the state reading test ( indiana, its called the ' I can' ' or ' I can read' test, I don't remember which) she has the chance to do it 1 more time after a summer school course. If she doesn't pass it that time she will repeat 3rd grade. As far as I know there is no opt out. It's a mandatory state test. I will check on that though.

I will ask the teacher for some changes but honestly I don't even know what to ask for other than less homework. Last year she was taken out of class for special help but they haven't done that this year yet. It didn't help at all anyway. Most of what she did was just a slower and even more frustrating version of the in class work. One of the most frustrating things they did was say the sounds of letters 'mmmmm' for M and 'nnnn' for N and do forth and have the kids write the letter down. Dd couldn't do it with many letters because she has a ton of trouble with making the sound and letter connection.

Also her teacher really does want to help but doesn't really think its dyslexia because ' she doesn't write backwards'. Urg.


Quoting Bieg9093:

 


Quoting norahsmommy:

Her homework last night was 6 worksheets with 8-10 questions each. It was rounding numbers to the nearest thousand, hundred, and ten. It included several story problems on each page. She can't seem to remember the steps she needs to take and she can't seem to find the number she needs to look at when they tell her what place needs to round. I sit with her and make sure she reads the instructions and that she comprehends them. I ask her every few problems or every problem what " what are you supposed to do here, ok, now what?" If I don't she gets lost and then will answer most questions wrong. But if I guide her a bit she does much better ( I never give her the answer). The work she brings home from school usually has 'redo' on it and the number of times she had to redo it before the teacher found it acceptable. She frequently has to give up recess in order to redo work. It still isn't very good.


After the six work sheets she was supposed to study spelling for 20 minutes and read for a half hour. The worksheets took from 3:30-6 pm and then this morning for a half hour or a little over. She did read last night and we practiced spelling but like always she can't spell the words even after a lot of practice.

I would say state tests be damned but even if she was getting A's in everything at school the state would not let her continue to the next grade level if she can't pass the state test.
It's rediculous but mandatory.

I don't really want to have her 'labeled' but I don't know what else to do. The other kids are horrid to her. They make fun of her for reading 'baby books'. She got asked yesterday if the book she had was too hard and if she needed help. The girl that asked then patted her shoulder and stuck a 'kick me' note to her. Dd really hates school now. She used to be so outgoing and now she gets flustered and nervous and she has told me she thinks she is stupid.

I've been wanted to get her tested for almost 3 years now but the school kept saying 'wait and see'. It's past time now. Way past.






 


OMFG...rounding numbers!  I understand why they teach it.  But for so many kids, just doing the math is SO MUCH EASIER than rounding.  And kids learn just as much from doing 15 examples as they do from 50.  I would not wait for the results of the testing.  I would ask for some homework modifications right now.  If the teacher won't make a deal (either sending home less work or putting a one hour time limit on it) then go over her head.  And I'm not a fan of all those redos either.  Is this child getting any support in class at all? 


And as for the kids being rotten and that "kick me" sign...that's absolutely unacceptable and I think you and your husband should go have a chat about the atmosphere the teacher is encouraging in the room. It's time for her to be taken to task.


State tests...here in NY if you don't pass then you receive mandatory remediation, not retention.  Are you 100% that she'd be left back?  Also, can you opt out of the test?  There's a lot of folks here who already are doing this...many of them are teacher's kids! 


Either way, it sounds like there's every reason to believe she'll qualify for support after the evaluation is in.  I know a "label" sucks.  But really, these days about 1 in 4 kids goes through the office of special ed at one point or another.  Getting the label means getting the help.  If they come back with results you don't agree with, I'd say bite the bullet and go for a private evaluation.  That "wait and see" nonsense is because special ed services cost the district money.  So as long as she's sitting in her seat and not stabbing the other kids with her pencil, it's all the same to them to save a few bucks. 


Good luck.  I feel for you both!


 


Apgsteenmommy
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 11:27 AM

i have dislexia i was diagnosed when i was in 2nd grade

 

 

Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 11:36 AM

 

Quoting norahsmommy:

If she fails the state reading test ( indiana, its called the ' I can' ' or ' I can read' test, I don't remember which) she has the chance to do it 1 more time after a summer school course. If she doesn't pass it that time she will repeat 3rd grade. As far as I know there is no opt out. It's a mandatory state test. I will check on that though.

I will ask the teacher for some changes but honestly I don't even know what to ask for other than less homework. Last year she was taken out of class for special help but they haven't done that this year yet. It didn't help at all anyway. Most of what she did was just a slower and even more frustrating version of the in class work. One of the most frustrating things they did was say the sounds of letters 'mmmmm' for M and 'nnnn' for N and do forth and have the kids write the letter down. Dd couldn't do it with many letters because she has a ton of trouble with making the sound and letter connection.

Also her teacher really does want to help but doesn't really think its dyslexia because ' she doesn't write backwards'. Urg.


Quoting Bieg9093:

 


Quoting norahsmommy:

Her homework last night was 6 worksheets with 8-10 questions each. It was rounding numbers to the nearest thousand, hundred, and ten. It included several story problems on each page. She can't seem to remember the steps she needs to take and she can't seem to find the number she needs to look at when they tell her what place needs to round. I sit with her and make sure she reads the instructions and that she comprehends them. I ask her every few problems or every problem what " what are you supposed to do here, ok, now what?" If I don't she gets lost and then will answer most questions wrong. But if I guide her a bit she does much better ( I never give her the answer). The work she brings home from school usually has 'redo' on it and the number of times she had to redo it before the teacher found it acceptable. She frequently has to give up recess in order to redo work. It still isn't very good.


After the six work sheets she was supposed to study spelling for 20 minutes and read for a half hour. The worksheets took from 3:30-6 pm and then this morning for a half hour or a little over. She did read last night and we practiced spelling but like always she can't spell the words even after a lot of practice.

I would say state tests be damned but even if she was getting A's in everything at school the state would not let her continue to the next grade level if she can't pass the state test.
It's rediculous but mandatory.

I don't really want to have her 'labeled' but I don't know what else to do. The other kids are horrid to her. They make fun of her for reading 'baby books'. She got asked yesterday if the book she had was too hard and if she needed help. The girl that asked then patted her shoulder and stuck a 'kick me' note to her. Dd really hates school now. She used to be so outgoing and now she gets flustered and nervous and she has told me she thinks she is stupid.

I've been wanted to get her tested for almost 3 years now but the school kept saying 'wait and see'. It's past time now. Way past.






 


OMFG...rounding numbers!  I understand why they teach it.  But for so many kids, just doing the math is SO MUCH EASIER than rounding.  And kids learn just as much from doing 15 examples as they do from 50.  I would not wait for the results of the testing.  I would ask for some homework modifications right now.  If the teacher won't make a deal (either sending home less work or putting a one hour time limit on it) then go over her head.  And I'm not a fan of all those redos either.  Is this child getting any support in class at all? 


And as for the kids being rotten and that "kick me" sign...that's absolutely unacceptable and I think you and your husband should go have a chat about the atmosphere the teacher is encouraging in the room. It's time for her to be taken to task.


State tests...here in NY if you don't pass then you receive mandatory remediation, not retention.  Are you 100% that she'd be left back?  Also, can you opt out of the test?  There's a lot of folks here who already are doing this...many of them are teacher's kids! 


Either way, it sounds like there's every reason to believe she'll qualify for support after the evaluation is in.  I know a "label" sucks.  But really, these days about 1 in 4 kids goes through the office of special ed at one point or another.  Getting the label means getting the help.  If they come back with results you don't agree with, I'd say bite the bullet and go for a private evaluation.  That "wait and see" nonsense is because special ed services cost the district money.  So as long as she's sitting in her seat and not stabbing the other kids with her pencil, it's all the same to them to save a few bucks. 


Good luck.  I feel for you both!


 


 

Doesn't write backwards???!!!  I just stopped breathing for a moment.  I don't know enough foul words to deal with that kind of ignorance.

Fight the good fight, Mom!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)