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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

3yo hates his dad...

Posted by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 8:24 PM
  • 7 Replies
My husband, and 3 year old son's father, is a good dad. He has been completely engaged and helpful in raising our son since the day he was born. Diaper changes and all.

Recently (last few months), my son wants nothing to do with his dad. If my son wants something he comes and asks me. If I tell him to ask his dad he screams no. When his dad enters the room with us, my son yells "leave, I don't want you!". My son even tells his dad, " I don't like you!" or even "I don't love you!"

Nothing appears out of the ordinary. Literally one day out of the blue my sun just decided he didn't like his dad anymore. His father is devastated.

Is this normal? Has this happened to anyone else? If so, how did you handle it?
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 8:24 PM
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Replies (1-7):
AbbyWalsh
by Bronze Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 8:27 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd teach him that he's not required to like or love his father (or you, or anyone) but he has to be respectful.

fanniesmom
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 8:37 PM

My DD has on occasion said she didn't want to be with DH, though never in such strong terms! She has trouble sharing my attention, and is sometimes mad at DH for taking up my time. My DH just answers calmly that it makes him sad when she says that (which I also tell her), but that he'll always love her. In our case, though, there are times that she prefers him (and doesn't want me around), so it's not so one-sided. I'm sure it must be terrible for your DH to hear, but I'm sure it's temporary.

Que-Bonita
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 8:42 PM
I've hear/read a lot about young children not wanting to share time or attention especially when they are single children. (Mine is still an only child). I have also heard children go through phases of preferring one parent over the other, which passes over time... I guess I never expected it to be so intense.


Quoting fanniesmom:

My DD has on occasion said she didn't want to be with DH, though never in such strong terms! She has trouble sharing my attention, and is sometimes mad at DH for taking up my time. My DH just answers calmly that it makes him sad when she says that (which I also tell her), but that he'll always love her. In our case, though, there are times that she prefers him (and doesn't want me around), so it's not so one-sided. I'm sure it must be terrible for your DH to hear, but I'm sure it's temporary.


Que-Bonita
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 8:43 PM
This is exactly the route we have been going. :o)


Quoting AbbyWalsh:

I'd teach him that he's not required to like or love his father (or you, or anyone) but he has to be respectful.


Saharra
by Bronze Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 9:10 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree in letting him know this is not acceptable behavior. He's three and might be having issues sharing moms attention (and boys sure do get attached to their moms for awhile, but this too will change!), or it could be a new boundary issue he is testing.
One of my boys did this and we would explain that it wasn't ok and put them in time out until they were ready to come apologize to whomever they offended. I'm very lenient on time outs. We talk about the behavior and then I kinda let them choose when they get up by their behavior. Sometimes it's 2 minutes, other times might be longer, but my kids know what I want out of them, even if the time isn't always the same.
Basicrose
by Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 9:17 PM
2 moms liked this

maybe have dad tell him, "well, maybe we can play later, i love you". give a smile and walk away.  or maybe dad should sit on the livingroom floor playing with DS toys? maybe DS will stop and watch and maybe interact.

strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 11:48 PM
1 mom liked this
Um I would not allow my child to talk to any one like that its rude he would be punished we don't use the word hate referring to people its rude snd hurtful i would talk to him very sternly and make him say sorry :) your poor hubby:(
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