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Adoption

Posted by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 11:39 PM
  • 20 Replies
I have one son and will be working on another child soon, but my husban and I have always said we would adopt the 3rd.

I just wanted to see if any ladies could tell me the process, timeline and the typical cost for an adoption. Also, could you direct me to any good websites for information or starting the process?

Thanks in advance!
by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 11:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bamababe1975
by Gold Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 10:22 AM
1 mom liked this

 I don't know but I'm sure the moms on Adoptive Moms can help you. :)

 



countrygirlkat
by Kathleen on Sep. 24, 2013 at 12:14 AM
1 mom liked this

We have talked a lot about adopting.  I have learned some but still have a lot to learn.  Basically there are three types of adoption I think.  One is International adoption, one is adoption of an infant in the US and the last is adoption out of the foster care system in the US.  It seems from what I have heard that International and adoption of an infant in the US are fairly expensive.  Adoption out of the foster care system is much less expensive.  There is so much more to know and learn but I would highly recommend the CafeMom group that bamababe1975 recommended because they are a wonderful group! 

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 12:19 AM

I used to work for a woman that adopted 2 kids through foster care, it was not easy, she had to take them for supervised visits with their birth-parents and jump through a lot of hoops. And then I noticed she favored her birth child. BUT, she got them as infants so their parents never had a chance to screw them up any worse than they already had and she was really a blessing to those kids.

a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 1:33 AM
I have never adopted but you may want to check with an agency to see if there are support groups
want10more
by Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 2:52 AM
1 mom liked this

i wish you would adopt an older child. if you can and are willing. i have always dreamed of adopting older kids, those who never got to call someone MOM, those who never got a loving hug. i still want that so much. i'm tired as hell of hearing all those stories of kids that grew up w/o ANYONE to really love them, nowhere to go at Christmas. nobody to put a boot in their ass to make them go to college, no gma to go batshit crazy over a new lil body. i just wish so much i could take in a child nobody wanted, and make them wanted. the thot of unwanted children makes me just crazy.

maybe, since you and your hubby have had the experience of the newborns? maybe you could think about saving an older child? i don't know the process, i can't help you a bit there. but....

remember the poem... in 100 yrs nobody will remember what kind of house i lived in, what salary i made, what cars i drove, but someone's life could be very different cuz i was important in the life of a child. (paraphrase)

my hubby is just being stubborn. he won't let me, for NOW. (heh) but........ if you wish to adopt, could you think about adopting a child that nobody else wants?

2Gs
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 9:12 PM

It is not that easy to adopt an older child.  Many people think there is this big surplus of older kids but the reality is that 98% of the time they do get reunited with biological family.  And typically you adopt from your county or neighboring county.  Don't get me wrong...if you have your heart set on an older child then you can work that process.  

It is also entirely possible to get a baby from foster care.  I recommend going to your local DHS and taking the classes they offer. 

Our adoption was private, infant, domestic.  From the first meeting with the agency until we got our beautiful daughter took 8 months.  And total costs were $10,000.  Obama reinstated the adoption credit so you can gay a big chumk of change back from the government.   

Quoting want10more:

i wish you would adopt an older child. if you can and are willing. i have always dreamed of adopting older kids, those who never got to call someone MOM, those who never got a loving hug. i still want that so much. i'm tired as hell of hearing all those stories of kids that grew up w/o ANYONE to really love them, nowhere to go at Christmas. nobody to put a boot in their ass to make them go to college, no gma to go batshit crazy over a new lil body. i just wish so much i could take in a child nobody wanted, and make them wanted. the thot of unwanted children makes me just crazy.

maybe, since you and your hubby have had the experience of the newborns? maybe you could think about saving an older child? i don't know the process, i can't help you a bit there. but....

remember the poem... in 100 yrs nobody will remember what kind of house i lived in, what salary i made, what cars i drove, but someone's life could be very different cuz i was important in the life of a child. (paraphrase)

my hubby is just being stubborn. he won't let me, for NOW. (heh) but........ if you wish to adopt, could you think about adopting a child that nobody else wants?


want10more
by Member on Oct. 3, 2013 at 3:12 AM

 well YOUR info comes from personal experience, and fact. MINE comes from stories........ so i guess  i need to bow out of this discussion now.

but what i can and WILL say? from FACT? is that omigosh, i am so glad for adoptive kids and parents too.

yes i wish so much i could adopt older troubled kids, my hubby says no. and if he's not REALLY on board, it wouldn't work anyway. but thank you for dealing w/ me so kindly, when i was WRONG in my facts. it's just what i was always told, and it hurt my heart.


Quoting 2Gs:

It is not that easy to adopt an older child.  Many people think there is this big surplus of older kids but the reality is that 98% of the time they do get reunited with biological family.  And typically you adopt from your county or neighboring county.  Don't get me wrong...if you have your heart set on an older child then you can work that process.  

It is also entirely possible to get a baby from foster care.  I recommend going to your local DHS and taking the classes they offer. 

Our adoption was private, infant, domestic.  From the first meeting with the agency until we got our beautiful daughter took 8 months.  And total costs were $10,000.  Obama reinstated the adoption credit so you can gay a big chumk of change back from the government.   

Quoting want10more:

i wish you would adopt an older child. if you can and are willing. i have always dreamed of adopting older kids, those who never got to call someone MOM, those who never got a loving hug. i still want that so much. i'm tired as hell of hearing all those stories of kids that grew up w/o ANYONE to really love them, nowhere to go at Christmas. nobody to put a boot in their ass to make them go to college, no gma to go batshit crazy over a new lil body. i just wish so much i could take in a child nobody wanted, and make them wanted. the thot of unwanted children makes me just crazy.

maybe, since you and your hubby have had the experience of the newborns? maybe you could think about saving an older child? i don't know the process, i can't help you a bit there. but....

remember the poem... in 100 yrs nobody will remember what kind of house i lived in, what salary i made, what cars i drove, but someone's life could be very different cuz i was important in the life of a child. (paraphrase)

my hubby is just being stubborn. he won't let me, for NOW. (heh) but........ if you wish to adopt, could you think about adopting a child that nobody else wants?

 


 

2Gs
by on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:41 PM

...now that I'm typing on a bigger keyboard. (Hate the iPhone for CM posts).  

When we went to our DHS they explained to us the nuances of our county.  We're in a white area with a lot of drug addiction.  The scenarios here are fairly common.  Parents can't get off of drugs and lose custody or they get treatment and get to keep their kids.  Often times grandparents or aunts and uncles step up and help out.  

Closer to Detroit.. many of those kids loose their parents entirely.  Dad was never in the picture.  Mom gets killed or incarcerated.  So in that area there are a lot more older kids who need permanent homes.  Really the stories do vary case by case and regionally.

We will eventually foster and hopefully foster to adopt an older kid.  I'm thinking anywhere between 4-10.  But I know a lot of people who go into it with a big heart and then it's more than they can handle.  We want to make sure we can really add value to a child's life.  

I would never want to discourage anyone from adopting an older child.  But the myth is that there is some orphanage somewhere with kids just waiting to be adopted.  In other countries that might be the case but it is not how it works here.

I wish more people would consider adoption.  It is such a beautiful thing.

Quoting want10more:

 well YOUR info comes from personal experience, and fact. MINE comes from stories........ so i guess  i need to bow out of this discussion now.

but what i can and WILL say? from FACT? is that omigosh, i am so glad for adoptive kids and parents too.

yes i wish so much i could adopt older troubled kids, my hubby says no. and if he's not REALLY on board, it wouldn't work anyway. but thank you for dealing w/ me so kindly, when i was WRONG in my facts. it's just what i was always told, and it hurt my heart.


Quoting 2Gs:

It is not that easy to adopt an older child.  Many people think there is this big surplus of older kids but the reality is that 98% of the time they do get reunited with biological family.  And typically you adopt from your county or neighboring county.  Don't get me wrong...if you have your heart set on an older child then you can work that process.  

It is also entirely possible to get a baby from foster care.  I recommend going to your local DHS and taking the classes they offer. 

Our adoption was private, infant, domestic.  From the first meeting with the agency until we got our beautiful daughter took 8 months.  And total costs were $10,000.  Obama reinstated the adoption credit so you can gay a big chumk of change back from the government.   

Quoting want10more:

i wish you would adopt an older child. if you can and are willing. i have always dreamed of adopting older kids, those who never got to call someone MOM, those who never got a loving hug. i still want that so much. i'm tired as hell of hearing all those stories of kids that grew up w/o ANYONE to really love them, nowhere to go at Christmas. nobody to put a boot in their ass to make them go to college, no gma to go batshit crazy over a new lil body. i just wish so much i could take in a child nobody wanted, and make them wanted. the thot of unwanted children makes me just crazy.

maybe, since you and your hubby have had the experience of the newborns? maybe you could think about saving an older child? i don't know the process, i can't help you a bit there. but....

remember the poem... in 100 yrs nobody will remember what kind of house i lived in, what salary i made, what cars i drove, but someone's life could be very different cuz i was important in the life of a child. (paraphrase)

my hubby is just being stubborn. he won't let me, for NOW. (heh) but........ if you wish to adopt, could you think about adopting a child that nobody else wants?





want10more
by Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 3:19 AM

 

that is exactly the belief i believed.......... but still.. adoption? holy crap, to tell your child you were CHOSEN? is yes a booooooofulllllll thing~and honestly our house, our home COULD really handle it... 6 kids all special needs. 14 yr old girl (they're already like YIKES) and she's anti social personality, borderline narcissitic. and i'd want a child after my own kids are big nuff for combat. my youngest is 20 mos, i'm 43 now, so yeah you can't fight the math. i'm just too old now and i know it. but to take in a child w/ a criminal personality, is something i could deal w/, cuz i've got lots of experience (sadly) w/ that. but i'm 5 ft tall and i'd suck at physical contrentration, and yes i'm too old now. i guess we all have our dreams, and yes that is mine, to take in a 'criminal' child, and love him/her. give them a home, a place to go at christmas. it's a pipe dream i know. i just wish i was in a position to do that............

Quoting 2Gs:

...now that I'm typing on a bigger keyboard. (Hate the iPhone for CM posts).  

When we went to our DHS they explained to us the nuances of our county.  We're in a white area with a lot of drug addiction.  The scenarios here are fairly common.  Parents can't get off of drugs and lose custody or they get treatment and get to keep their kids.  Often times grandparents or aunts and uncles step up and help out.  

Closer to Detroit.. many of those kids loose their parents entirely.  Dad was never in the picture.  Mom gets killed or incarcerated.  So in that area there are a lot more older kids who need permanent homes.  Really the stories do vary case by case and regionally.

We will eventually foster and hopefully foster to adopt an older kid.  I'm thinking anywhere between 4-10.  But I know a lot of people who go into it with a big heart and then it's more than they can handle.  We want to make sure we can really add value to a child's life.  

I would never want to discourage anyone from adopting an older child.  But the myth is that there is some orphanage somewhere with kids just waiting to be adopted.  In other countries that might be the case but it is not how it works here.

I wish more people would consider adoption.  It is such a beautiful thing.

Quoting want10more:

 well YOUR info comes from personal experience, and fact. MINE comes from stories........ so i guess  i need to bow out of this discussion now.

but what i can and WILL say? from FACT? is that omigosh, i am so glad for adoptive kids and parents too.

yes i wish so much i could adopt older troubled kids, my hubby says no. and if he's not REALLY on board, it wouldn't work anyway. but thank you for dealing w/ me so kindly, when i was WRONG in my facts. it's just what i was always told, and it hurt my heart.

 

Quoting 2Gs:

It is not that easy to adopt an older child.  Many people think there is this big surplus of older kids but the reality is that 98% of the time they do get reunited with biological family.  And typically you adopt from your county or neighboring county.  Don't get me wrong...if you have your heart set on an older child then you can work that process.  

It is also entirely possible to get a baby from foster care.  I recommend going to your local DHS and taking the classes they offer. 

Our adoption was private, infant, domestic.  From the first meeting with the agency until we got our beautiful daughter took 8 months.  And total costs were $10,000.  Obama reinstated the adoption credit so you can gay a big chumk of change back from the government.   

Quoting want10more:

i wish you would adopt an older child. if you can and are willing. i have always dreamed of adopting older kids, those who never got to call someone MOM, those who never got a loving hug. i still want that so much. i'm tired as hell of hearing all those stories of kids that grew up w/o ANYONE to really love them, nowhere to go at Christmas. nobody to put a boot in their ass to make them go to college, no gma to go batshit crazy over a new lil body. i just wish so much i could take in a child nobody wanted, and make them wanted. the thot of unwanted children makes me just crazy.

maybe, since you and your hubby have had the experience of the newborns? maybe you could think about saving an older child? i don't know the process, i can't help you a bit there. but....

remember the poem... in 100 yrs nobody will remember what kind of house i lived in, what salary i made, what cars i drove, but someone's life could be very different cuz i was important in the life of a child. (paraphrase)

my hubby is just being stubborn. he won't let me, for NOW. (heh) but........ if you wish to adopt, could you think about adopting a child that nobody else wants?

 

 

 

 


 

2Gs
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 7:55 AM
43 is the new 33 or at least that is what I will tell myself on my next birthday!

If you have a heart for kids like that then maybe get involved in other ways? I was involved with big brother big sister for awhile mentoring young teens. Or maybe find out what you can do to help out at a juvinille facility or rehab? Perhaps a second career?



Quoting want10more:

 


that is exactly the belief i believed.......... but still.. adoption? holy crap, to tell your child you were CHOSEN? is yes a booooooofulllllll thing~and honestly our house, our home COULD really handle it... 6 kids all special needs. 14 yr old girl (they're already like YIKES) and she's anti social personality, borderline narcissitic. and i'd want a child after my own kids are big nuff for combat. my youngest is 20 mos, i'm 43 now, so yeah you can't fight the math. i'm just too old now and i know it. but to take in a child w/ a criminal personality, is something i could deal w/, cuz i've got lots of experience (sadly) w/ that. but i'm 5 ft tall and i'd suck at physical contrentration, and yes i'm too old now. i guess we all have our dreams, and yes that is mine, to take in a 'criminal' child, and love him/her. give them a home, a place to go at christmas. it's a pipe dream i know. i just wish i was in a position to do that............


Quoting 2Gs:


...now that I'm typing on a bigger keyboard. (Hate the iPhone for CM posts).  


When we went to our DHS they explained to us the nuances of our county.  We're in a white area with a lot of drug addiction.  The scenarios here are fairly common.  Parents can't get off of drugs and lose custody or they get treatment and get to keep their kids.  Often times grandparents or aunts and uncles step up and help out.  


Closer to Detroit.. many of those kids loose their parents entirely.  Dad was never in the picture.  Mom gets killed or incarcerated.  So in that area there are a lot more older kids who need permanent homes.  Really the stories do vary case by case and regionally.


We will eventually foster and hopefully foster to adopt an older kid.  I'm thinking anywhere between 4-10.  But I know a lot of people who go into it with a big heart and then it's more than they can handle.  We want to make sure we can really add value to a child's life.  


I would never want to discourage anyone from adopting an older child.  But the myth is that there is some orphanage somewhere with kids just waiting to be adopted.  In other countries that might be the case but it is not how it works here.


I wish more people would consider adoption.  It is such a beautiful thing.


Quoting want10more:


 well YOUR info comes from personal experience, and fact. MINE comes from stories........ so i guess  i need to bow out of this discussion now.


but what i can and WILL say? from FACT? is that omigosh, i am so glad for adoptive kids and parents too.


yes i wish so much i could adopt older troubled kids, my hubby says no. and if he's not REALLY on board, it wouldn't work anyway. but thank you for dealing w/ me so kindly, when i was WRONG in my facts. it's just what i was always told, and it hurt my heart.


 


Quoting 2Gs:


It is not that easy to adopt an older child.  Many people think there is this big surplus of older kids but the reality is that 98% of the time they do get reunited with biological family.  And typically you adopt from your county or neighboring county.  Don't get me wrong...if you have your heart set on an older child then you can work that process.  


It is also entirely possible to get a baby from foster care.  I recommend going to your local DHS and taking the classes they offer. 


Our adoption was private, infant, domestic.  From the first meeting with the agency until we got our beautiful daughter took 8 months.  And total costs were $10,000.  Obama reinstated the adoption credit so you can gay a big chumk of change back from the government.   


Quoting want10more:


i wish you would adopt an older child. if you can and are willing. i have always dreamed of adopting older kids, those who never got to call someone MOM, those who never got a loving hug. i still want that so much. i'm tired as hell of hearing all those stories of kids that grew up w/o ANYONE to really love them, nowhere to go at Christmas. nobody to put a boot in their ass to make them go to college, no gma to go batshit crazy over a new lil body. i just wish so much i could take in a child nobody wanted, and make them wanted. the thot of unwanted children makes me just crazy.


maybe, since you and your hubby have had the experience of the newborns? maybe you could think about saving an older child? i don't know the process, i can't help you a bit there. but....


remember the poem... in 100 yrs nobody will remember what kind of house i lived in, what salary i made, what cars i drove, but someone's life could be very different cuz i was important in the life of a child. (paraphrase)


my hubby is just being stubborn. he won't let me, for NOW. (heh) but........ if you wish to adopt, could you think about adopting a child that nobody else wants?


 


 


 


 




 

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