need help with sleep habits; trying to "blend" a family
I am a mother to a wonderful almost 3 year old son. Over a year ago I began to see a man who has two girls 8 and 5 who I love dearly and they love me. Our children get along as well together as if they were brother & sisters from birth. He and I get along amazingly and we both know that we would like to spend the rest of our lives together. As a blended family goes there are always hiccups along the way and we've found it. Both he and I are custodial parents with the same schedule of our kid's visiting their other parents every Friday through Sunday. While we would love to take the next step and make the move to living together his girls sleep habits are stopping the process. My son and I have a schedule & a bed time routine and I cannot sleep in the bed with children. His girls however sleep with him and have from birth, they wake all during the night and are a nightmare to even get into the bed to sleep. I do not want to share a bed with 1 child let alone 2 or 3. While it may seem a little selfish I feel that with both he and I working full time and having the same schedule of our children visiting their other parents, those two days are the only time we truly get to spend time with each other and it's amazing. At night I want to lay in his arms. I want to wake up in the middle of the night and make love if we want to, we should not have to get out of our bed because children have taken it over. He and I have had this discussion in full detail and agree that until he is able to get his girls out of his bed we're going to be stuck living apart or in two different bedrooms. We began the process of trying to break this habit 3 months ago with no luck whatsoever. His 8 year old will go to sleep everywhere but her own bed and will wake in the night and crawl into bed with him and the 5 year old cries every night and will also wake up and come back into bed with him also. No matter how many times he takes them back to their room the process is repeated over and over with no improvement. Both he and the girls are exhausted and heartbreaking. He's said time and again how much he regrets letting them into his bed in the first place because he knows they are both old enough to be sleeping in their own beds or even sharing a bed with each other. If anyone has any advice please, please share. I would be eternally grateful. We both feel helpless and trapped, we do not want to wait until his girls are teenagers for us to be able to sleep together but I also don't want to make this more miserable on him and the girls too.