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I really need advice!

Posted by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 7:58 PM
  • 11 Replies

i have been a single mom of 2 for just over a year now.  My daughter is 9 and has moderate/severe special needs.  My son is 5.  Anyway, a longtime friend of my ex has started getting back into drugs and very recently was arrested for theft. He also may get charged with kidnapping for taking his girlfriend’s daughter without her grandmother’s permission. (The grandmother has custody.) The ex's friend and a friend of his were at the school and were confronted by one of the people he stole from. The guy’s friend pulled out a weapon in front of the elementary students (this is a very tiny school). I told my ex that there is no way I want our children anywhere near the guy. Not with the things he has been doing. They do not need that kind of influence around them.  My ex has known him since high school and introduced us when we first moved to the town they currently live in 10 years ago.

So, my ex assured me that he was “done with that kid” and I didn’t have anything to worry about. When my son called his father tonight, the person in question told my sons father to tell him hello. My kids are supposed to go for their visit this weekend, but I am very uncomfortable about this. I know I have to let them go, especially since their father doesn’t take them often, but I want to make sure the kids are safe. So my questions are, what should I do? Is there anything I can do? Is there a way to keep this guy away from my kids when they are with their father?

Thanks in advance!

by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 7:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 8:04 PM
1 mom liked this

I dont believe there is any actual way to keep someone away from them w/o a restraining order.  Is their father a responsible person ?  I personally would talk to the person in question and tell them they are too unstable right now , i do not feel safe if they are around my children.

SallyB_LMT
by Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 8:05 PM

Not sure what I would do.  But here's a bump.


krosemartin1984
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 8:08 PM

He's not.  He's an alcoholic.  He claims he quit drinking, but I highly doubt it.  He sees the kids very little and refuses to pay child support.  The office of child support is getting ready to take him back to court to enforce.  He's only ordered to pay $75/week for two and won't.  It's been 5 months since the child support was ordered and I have only seen 4 weekly payments

strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 8:30 PM
If theres no court order keep your kids home:)
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krosemartin1984
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 8:37 PM

the court order states that he is supposed to take them the first and third Sat. and Sun. of every month.  He backed out this last weekend so we agreed to switch weekends.  I think verbal agreements like that in court would hold up if he were to fight me for not letting them go

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 8:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell him you need to supervise the visit. I think a judge would side with you.

krosemartin1984
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 9:00 PM

I like that idea!

Brycensmommy85
by Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 11:59 PM
1 mom liked this


This. If he arugues you have LOTS of ammo on your side the courts do not like it when child suport isn't paid and there is little to no visitation. 

Quoting Lindalou907:

Tell him you need to supervise the visit. I think a judge would side with you.



a_and_j_momma
by Silver Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 2:25 AM
Did you ask him about it? Did you tell him you do not want your kids around him again?

krosemartin1984
by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 8:19 AM

 


Quoting a_and_j_momma:

Did you ask him about it? Did you tell him you do not want your kids around him again?


 I did, and he said I have nothing to worry about.  He said given the recent events that he was done with this kid and he wouldn't be around anymore.  Well now he's hanging out with him again, less than a week after the guy was arrested.  The guy told my ex to tell our son Hi on the phone yesterday evening.  So he was there hanging out.

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