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how would you discipline your 9 yr old step child who back talks you?

Posted by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 11:21 PM
  • 27 Replies

I am 9 months pregnant and stressing out from my step son. when its just me and him we get along. but when my daughter or his dad are around things change.  he is disrespectful, doesnt listen to me, and wants to talk back. which him talking back to me sets me off!! and when i yell at him for his behavor letting him know why im pissed off he screams and cries "stop yelling at me, i didnt do anything, leave me alone!" im so frustrated with this kid. we never really had a good connection. im not sure what to do with him at times. how would you discipline your kid?

by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 11:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
da808gypsy
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 11:45 PM
2 moms liked this

Don't yell at him, disciplin when ou are calm. It makes it so much less stressful. Getting angry is just going to release a bunch of negative enegery around everyone near and you don't need that stress that far along in pregnancy. ALso, talk to his dad. Tell him what has been going on and try to see if he can help solve the issue.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 11:48 PM
1 mom liked this

How does his father support you in the discipline?  Does the father treat you so poorly as well?  I would keep consistent consequences for him when he breaks any house rule such as talking back when a parent speaks to him.

paintitblack0
by Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 12:29 AM

Bump. My kids are too young to talk back

famiglia_bella
by Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 12:48 AM

Don't yell because kids do what we do.  Other than that, I've got nothing.  I had a step-mom and she was not my parent.  Just because she married my father, it did not give her the title of my parent, at least not in my then 9 year old mind.  I still lean toward that thinking, probably because we never got the chance to really to get know each other without that parent/child dynamic in play.  When she assumed the role, frankly, it pissed me off and I reacted.  

strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 1:20 AM
1 mom liked this
My step kids got treated how i treat my kids my step daughter called me a bitch once i slapped her across her mouth it never happened again since he wants to be a whinny baby don't yell punish him right on the spot my step son tried talking back but hubby would jump his ass quick:)
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story0702
by on Sep. 26, 2013 at 7:44 AM
2 moms liked this
Talk to your husband about backing you up. Personally my kids have to run laps for being disrespectful. They are all in sports so this is something that is consistent . And I refuse to argue with them. I keep calm no matter what they do and firm. Also make sure expectations are very clear.
SamMom912
by Silver Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 7:51 AM
2 moms liked this

Id ask him nicely calmly about a specific incident where you felt he used a poor tone or was disrespectful. Id question to him to whats up?

the other night at dinner when i said x, you said X... Whats up? 

Yelling begets yelling. Disrespect begets disresepct. Treat him with kindness and compassion, he will do the same.

perhaps even the next time he says something you find disrespectful, you can use a nice tone in response and say .. Wow, what happened? Or ouch! Lol.... To make him aware of his tone or words... Dontnmake a huge fuss or deal, but make him aware.

Sometimes when our kids talk mean, they need empathy and compassion, not a firm mean line. Sometimes they are having a rough time, and being nice goes a lot further to teach them how to respond then firmness.  

emmy526
by Silver Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 9:43 AM

how long have you been married to his father?

Momma_1985
by on Sep. 26, 2013 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this

Talk to your husband first of all...you have to be on the same page. With my stepkids, I send them to their room 5min for everytime they talk back and I also take away gaming devices for the same amount of time. All went to bed last night 15min before because they wanted to be "funny" :)

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 12:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell him to go stand in a corner until he can be respectful. Stop yelling, you set a bad example. And be really certain the rules are the same for both kids. I feel for you mama, it's not easy. His Dad has to back you up too!

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