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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Potential mom needing advice

Posted by on Sep. 29, 2013 at 6:22 PM
  • 7 Replies

Hello Ladies! I chose to join this forum so I could get the best advice from the women who know best. My husband and I have been together for 11 years and married for 3 years. I am 29 and he is 57. For the past year he has been telling me often that he really wants to have a baby and I have been very hesitant as I feel our lives cant handle a baby. His brother who has special needs and lives full time with us, 2 dogs and 2 cats, self employed working from home, and we really enjoy being able to do anything and go anywhere when we want. It's a huge obstacle I can't see around, mostly being able to be lazy, sleep, go out of town, or run any errand without having to worry about anything. I would like to know if these priorities that matter so much to me now, if after the baby arrives, I could care less about what was before. It's all very scary to me. Please help! 

by on Sep. 29, 2013 at 6:22 PM
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Replies (1-7):
lucyblue202
by Member on Sep. 29, 2013 at 6:25 PM
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 Yes you will lost the luxeries of not being a parent and you will still miss them when you are a parent but it just won't matter as much to you. Your priorites will be completely rearranged and you will wonder what the point of life was without your child.  :) It gives life a whole new meaning/purpose. If you want a baby you can make it work. But don't rush into it if you don't feel ready.

strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on Sep. 29, 2013 at 6:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Honestly if you enjoy your life as is keep it that way its on to not have kids you sound happy and content kids are alot of work:)
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countrygirlkat
by Kathleen on Sep. 29, 2013 at 10:28 PM

Welcome to the group!  There are many things that are a lot more complicated with kids in the mix but I wouldn't give up having kids for anything in the world.  I love my kids so much I don't really notice the things that I maybe have given up to have kids. 

That is for me personally.  I would say to do some real soul searching, especially if your husband is wanting a child.  There are people who should have never become parents and miss the single life so much that they resent or neglect their children so it is possible.  I get the feeling though if you have the love to give to the pets and to his special needs brother that you would have more then enough love for a baby.  Only you can answer it for yourself though as each person is different. 

anotherandree
by Inga on Sep. 29, 2013 at 10:35 PM
While we, too, enjoyed the carefree life, we were even living in England and sightseeing every second we could, we love our children. That being said, you are at a cross roads that could lead down several paths. Resentment is one. Either from you giving up the freedom in the end if motherhood is not what you imagine. From him if you decide against parenthood. Or you could both ride happily into the sunset with a baby in your arms. Or no baby but still happy. Good luck!
Bleacheddecay
by on Sep. 29, 2013 at 11:02 PM

If you have any doubts, I say don't. Many people can be content without kids.

a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Sep. 29, 2013 at 11:37 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree


Quoting Bleacheddecay:

If you have any doubts, I say don't. Many people can be content without kids.


beadingmom17
by Silver Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 12:12 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't see anything that you listed that would change that drastically aside from doing whatever, whenever. It's easy enough to run errands with a baby, they're pretty portable so you can still travel, you're still going to sleep (some babies sleep better than others...I love my sleep and I managed to luck out with babies who liked to sleep, too), and we had many lazy days when my kids were babies/young toddlers and even now (they're 6.5 and 5).

But, if you're content with life as it is, then don't do it. It wouldn't be fair to a kid to have a mother that could resent them. I always wanted to be a mom, so I was more than happy to change and adapt.
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