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help with behavior.

Posted by on Oct. 1, 2013 at 6:00 PM
  • 35 Replies

my oldest is six will be seven on the 16th. she is in first grade. she did three years of pre school and kindergarten. never got in trouble during pre school. and only got sent home three notes (all for talking to much) in kindergarten near the end of the year. which i feel is kinda normal for kids of that age. but this year we are only on the sixth week of school and today she came home with her third note for the year. the first two notes where again just for talking to much when she should not. but today's note was for calling someone a name and pushing someone else. i talked to her teacher this afternoon after i got the note. besides the name calling and pushing she also was goofing off in her chair the teacher asked her to stop but she continued to goof off and it ended up with her turning over her chair and desk. i also found out that last week she got in trouble for throwing food in the cafeteria. she was sent to the principles office and she sent a note home with her for me to sign. well i never got the note. she signed my name herself and turned it back in. the teacher asked me about it today because it did not look like my signature. she also has been throwing away her lunch everyday because she is talking instead of eating and did not want me to know. i need some adivce on what to do. we where going to take her to sea world this month but when she got her second note sent home we told her if she got another one then he could not go. so we have taken that away from her. and have decided that if she dose not improve her behavior that we will pull her out of school. but what can we do to try to get it through to her to behave and not lie. if you have any questions about something feel free to ask/

Sarah      10-16-06                                     Luciano 11-27-08


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by on Oct. 1, 2013 at 6:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Sbellemommy
by Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 6:04 PM
2 moms liked this
Well you could take away her things... All of them. She earns something back every day she comes home without a note. If she comes home with a note take 2 things. If she forges your signature again, take it all again. She needs to know you mean business.
strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 6:05 PM
Oh wow thats alot she is old enough to know better my kids would of lost sea world and had a sore butt i would of made them write s apology letter to her teacher. I know not everyone spanks but she would be grounded and talked to:) hugs
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LgraceMe
by on Oct. 1, 2013 at 6:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with this, totally!! Good behavior is EXPECTED, not just a bonus. Bad behavior will not be tolerated.  Bad takes her 2 steps back...A+ Sbellemommy!


Quoting Sbellemommy:

Well you could take away her things... All of them. She earns something back every day she comes home without a note. If she comes home with a note take 2 things. If she forges your signature again, take it all again. She needs to know you mean business.


 

 

OHgirlinCA
by Silver Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 6:15 PM
I'd take all priveleges away and tell her to earn them back she has to change her behavior. Tell her you'll be contacting the teacher each week to see how she is progressing.
ambermario4ever
by Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 6:40 PM


we do spank but we feel she is now to old for that. and we are talking to her when her dad gets home from work and we will be deciding a punsihment togeather to go on top of the loosing sea world. 

Quoting strictmomhere:

Oh wow thats alot she is old enough to know better my kids would of lost sea world and had a sore butt i would of made them write s apology letter to her teacher. I know not everyone spanks but she would be grounded and talked to:) hugs



Sarah      10-16-06                                     Luciano 11-27-08


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ambermario4ever
by Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 6:43 PM


she will be punished from some things. but she doesnet have anything in her room but stuffed animals and dolls. she has spent the day in her room since coming home. she was told not to play that she could only look at or read books. i have caught her playing twice and i took those things away. i also caught her looking through her door at the tv. my husband did not want me to take everything out of her room because he said she need to learn to have self control and do as told.

Quoting Sbellemommy:

Well you could take away her things... All of them. She earns something back every day she comes home without a note. If she comes home with a note take 2 things. If she forges your signature again, take it all again. She needs to know you mean business.



Sarah      10-16-06                                     Luciano 11-27-08


LilySlim Weight loss tickers


ceciliam
by Cecilia on Oct. 2, 2013 at 10:19 AM

Is she having trouble with her school work or maybe she is having an issue with another student? Sometimes these things will cause children to act out.

That being said, I have a zero tolerance policy for not behaving in school. My son, who is also 7 but in 2nd grade, has these simple rules. You go to school to listen, learn and be nice to others. If he doesn't follow this, and lucky for me and him, it has not been an issue but if it were, he would lose all privileges...no tv, no video games, no play dates.


TIGGERTAC
by Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 10:35 AM
2 moms liked this

Have you ASKED her WHY she is behaving this way? I'd start there. If she cannot give you a great reason why she is acting out at school, still validate her feelings. Example: " I do it because I want to talk to my friends. It's the only time we get  to talk and I don't want to eat" YOU: " I understand it's fun to talk to your friends but it's important to eat your lunch" Then maybe you can offer to set up play dates with some of her favorite friends outside of school if she will eat her lunch and not get notes that week.

I would both reward her and take away privilages and TALK to her. When she brings a note home ask her why she did what she did and then give her alternative ways she COULD have reacted. Example: She pushed a kid. "XYZ why did you push Mary today?" Child:"  She took my pencil and wouldn't give it back, so I pushed her and took my pencil back" You: " Were you frusterated when Mary took your pencil, I would have been. But pushing mary was wrong, so let's work together to figure out what you COULD have done instead of pushing her." Then you ask her for ideas on other ways she could have handled it. If she comes up with a good alternative i.e. asked nicely for the pencil back, talked to the teacher praise her and  reinforce that those are great options you want her to try next time. If she doesn't come up with good alternatives on her own, give her some.

I also role played with  my son. So if X does this what would you do? Ok, here are some other options. For name calling I would ask her why again and validate her feelings. "I called him a turd because he smells bad" You: "I understand it can be hard when other people aren't fresh smelling but from time to time that may happen. Instead of calling him a turd you could have moved away from him"

My son did great in preK but in K he went through this. Part of it was he just didn't know how to react to people. Part of it is K and 1st grade are WORLDS apart. They expect much more from them in 1st grade than they do K. My son was sent to the principles office 3 times in 1st grade and had notes a lot at the beginning of the year. I did what I just wrote and I did reward/privilages removed. If he came home without a note he got a sticker on a chart. If he had a note he didn't get cartoons, video games or dessert. If he got 5 stickers that week (no notes) he got to choose between $2 (he loves to save money for special toys), a small dollar store toy  (kept it at $2 or less and put a few in a treasure box for him to pick from) or a playdate or special outting. If he got 4 stickers he got a ice cream cone from McD's. Less than 4 stickers he got nothing. I always think kids deserve a 2nd chance so he got something small if he messed up one day. Of course he lost his cartoons, video games and dessert that day though.

This worked and by the mid school year last year he got perfect behavior reports and has so far this year as well. Good luck to you momma! Oh and I wouldn't tell her she will be pulled from school if she keeps acting up. She may be WANTING to be pulled from school and keep acting up.

emarin77
by Bronze Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 10:54 AM

Does your child have an IEP?  A meeting needs to be made on how the school can assist your child.

ambermario4ever
by Member on Oct. 2, 2013 at 10:59 AM


no she is doing reslly well with her work. she had two a's and a b on her midterm report. any time she has had a problem with another student she has told me. and she hasent mentioned any recently. 

we dont tolerate it either. this is the first time we have had a major problem with her behavior at school. and this is her fifth year in school. i have told her many times that thier is no talking in class that that is for recess time. we have also told her you dont every touch any body else that she is to keep her hands to her self at all times. we have also told her not to call others name because it is not nice and will hurt thier feelings. we had a very long talk last night. she is not getting to go to sea world. and we also told her she could not to go the play next month with grandma. she is also grounded for a month from tv, movies, video games and doing what she wants. after school it is home work then she can either read books in her room or play with her brother doing what he wants.

Quoting ceciliam:

Is she having trouble with her school work or maybe she is having an issue with another student? Sometimes these things will cause children to act out.

That being said, I have a zero tolerance policy for not behaving in school. My son, who is also 7 but in 2nd grade, has these simple rules. You go to school to listen, learn and be nice to others. If he doesn't follow this, and lucky for me and him, it has not been an issue but if it were, he would lose all privileges...no tv, no video games, no play dates.




Sarah      10-16-06                                     Luciano 11-27-08


LilySlim Weight loss tickers


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