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Normal child behavior?

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:11 AM
  • 42 Replies

 DD (4 years old) is in Pre-K and a couple of weeks ago she told me that there was a boy in her class that is mean.  I asked her how he was being mean and she said "I don't know.  He's just mean." 

Fast forward to last Friday we received class pictures and she pointed to this boy in the class picture and said "See mom, this is the boy that hits me and throws toy at me."    What?!  Hits and throws toys at people?

So I talked to her teacher this morning and she confirmed that this boy does hit her as well as almost all of the children in the class.  The teacher stated that he is "sort of her problem child at the moment".  she stated that he doesn't play with any of the children in the class, he hits everyone and throws things constantly, and he has difficulty listening to instructions.  She stated that several parents have complained and she has talked to the boy's parents and gotten little response.  While we were talking he was actually sitting in the corner banging a toy against the wall while the other children were sitting at the breakfast table eating.

I know dd says he's mean but I actually kinda feel sorry for this kid.  I think there is something wrong with him and it sounds his parents aren't addressing it.  I mean, is it normal for a 4 year old to refuse to play with other children and hit almost every child he comes in contact with?

by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:43 AM
Very well might be something. Asbergers???? Is this private preschool. The teacher needs to address this with the parents. The parents have to take it from there. If this is a daily behavior I would want him kicked out though. Kids should not hit other kids daily at any age.
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mommyof11050307
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:46 AM
Unless the parents do something there's very little the school can do other than expel him.
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-PB
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:55 AM

 Yeah, I was thinking that or maybe sensory processing disorder.  I honestly don't know much about either one.  Its a daycare center that offers preschool, pre-k, and kindergarten.  The teacher said she has talked to the parents but got little response from them.  Apparently he was in the three year old room and he just turned 4 a month ago or two ago so now he is in the pre-k room.  I don't know if he was doing this in the other room or if this is new behavior from being in a new room.  But she is saying that basically he can't be kicked out.  I don't know if that's because he is new to the class and they are waiting to see if he adjusts?  I think its kinda bs that all of the kids in the class have to take a beating while he adjusts and the parents do nothing.

Quoting atlmom2:

Very well might be something. Asbergers???? Is this private preschool. The teacher needs to address this with the parents. The parents have to take it from there. If this is a daily behavior I would want him kicked out though. Kids should not hit other kids daily at any age.

 

-PB
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:58 AM
1 mom liked this

 And they are saying that they can't kick him out.  I don't know if thats just because he is new to the class and they want to give him some time to adjust or what?  But how long do the other kids have to suffer until these parents get their act together?

Quoting mommyof11050307:

Unless the parents do something there's very little the school can do other than expel him.

 

terpmama
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:59 AM

One of the boys in my ds's class has similar issues... Mostly aggression and not sharing/throwing toys... His parents divorced and dad is super indulgent/snowflake type.... Mom is working very hard with him. He has no siblings or cousins to "practice" and he is watched by grandma and great grandma... Both of whom try to work with him but they only have so much energy. He's gotten better but still has his moments. My son is actually the only kid that would play with him for a while. 

-PB
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:03 AM

 Good for him for be-friending him.  Thats why I feel bad for this kid.  The teacher says nobody plays with him because he is so mean.  Sad.

Quoting terpmama:

One of the boys in my ds's class has similar issues... Mostly aggression and not sharing/throwing toys... His parents divorced and dad is super indulgent/snowflake type.... Mom is working very hard with him. He has no siblings or cousins to "practice" and he is watched by grandma and great grandma... Both of whom try to work with him but they only have so much energy. He's gotten better but still has his moments. My son is actually the only kid that would play with him for a while. 

 

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:04 AM
1 mom liked this
They can kick him out. Even public school can kick kids out if they are a menace. They are lying. Parents need to document what happens daily and all have a meeting.


Quoting -PB:

 And they are saying that they can't kick him out.  I don't know if thats just because he is new to the class and they want to give him some time to adjust or what?  But how long do the other kids have to suffer until these parents get their act together?


Quoting mommyof11050307:

Unless the parents do something there's very little the school can do other than expel him.

 


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TIGGERTAC
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:06 AM

It could be simple adhd. No matter what it is, it is sad his parents aren't addressing it. He needs help :(

thatgirl70
by Carin on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:24 AM

Something is definitely up, and he should probably be evaluated, but unless the parents consent, there is nothing the school can do, short of disciplinary action. And that may be what it takes.

DaniandTom
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:27 AM
2 moms liked this

First of all, your child does NOT have to put up with being hit and having toys thrown just because there is a child in class whose parents aren't taking care of an issue like that. That's just absurd! As far as the boys problems go, it could be something like what other moms have suggested--ADHD, Aspurgers or as you said, another scensory processing disorder. Or it could be that he's being abused and is acting out of frustration and rage. The teacher needs to push the administration to do something about the child. A classroom of children should not have to suffer at the hands of one child nor should that child "slip through the cracks" because they're too lazy to do more than pass him along to the next teacher. The child who acts like this in pre-k is the one bullying kids on the playground in elementary and worse in high school and adulthood. I would make some calls to the administration and insist they do SOMETHING about the boy both to keep the other children safe as well as get him help and possibly out of an intolerable situation. The key here is that this is simply not normal behavior for a child who is well cared for.

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