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Latest update to my husband left-UPDATE

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:31 AM
  • 14 Replies

My lawyer finally called yesterday with the new stipulations unless he went back on them. I was sent a copy of the new stipulations. I convinced my stbxthat it wasn't fair that I give up half of my 401 to him and that I get to claim our son on the taxes until he's 18. He wants this divorce like yesterday and I told him I wouldn't sign until he amended his stipulations. I asked if his gf was getting deported or maybe she feels that if he's divorced she would feel better going forward in their relationship. She lives in California so they haven't really met but he is so in love with her.

It mentioned that he wants nothing no taxes or 401. I keep everything in my possession and he with his. We can sell or do what we please with with them. When he left he took most of his belongings. He left a mess behind for me to clean up.  I packed up what was left. The second week he called and acting super nice so we talked. I asked if he wanted anything he said no, I could keep everything. I offered him the small tv and he said keep it. Fast forward to this week (3 months later) he's been a dick for no reason for weeks. He'll be nice on minute then he gets all bipolar on me. He just picked up the rest of his things. Two days ago he accuses me of not packing up his collection of combat knives and he could have sworn he had more things. I told him I packed everything. I told him first of all I told him it wasn't my job to pack up his belongs nor did I take inventory. Now  he demands he wants the TV. I know its a small thing but after all the crap he's put me through I told him no. He says I let you keep everything, I said considering I paid for everything all furniture appliances ect with my share of my own taxes. He says he paid for the TV himself, ya with my tax money. It mentions nothing about him paying 177.00 a month in CS to make up the rent. He said his lawyer said that was between us to work out. Should I have my lawyer add that? I'm so nervous that I might screw me and my son if I sign as its written. Did I miss anything that I should tell my lawyer? Thanks ladies wish me luck.

 

Well that didn't go well. My lawyer called and said we could do a phone interview. She asked if I agreed with the stipulations and I said yes except that he said he would give me the 177 a month to help make rent. She asked if we discussed it and I said yes. I said he was the one that brought it up when he first moved out and thought it was the first time he was thinking about his son before himself. He  said he knew I needed it to make rent ,he always said he would even after his lawyer tried to convince him not to.

  She said she would call his lawyer and ask if they would add that and then we'd be good. I sent him a text and thought he'd be happy that we were nearing an end. I couldn't have been more wrong. He said he would NEVER put that in writting. And because I receive ssi for my son through his ssdi that no judge will require any more. He said his lawyer and mine knew as well and if I try and add that he WILL go after my 401which by law he could. Which I sure is true. Then he starts complaining how much he pays in our sons school lunch. He said his lawyer will probably contact him sometime today after mine mentions the 177. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I wish I could have just one day that that would go smoothly, I getting so tired of bad upon bad. I guess he'll let my lawyer tell me rather than himself that he won't change the stipulation.

by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
codfish
by Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:34 AM
Get cs in writing.
Mommy2justone
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:35 AM

bump

ericahager2005
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:36 AM
Make sure cs is in there and have it garnished through the state. If he falls behind they can take his tax returns.
ericahager2005
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:38 AM
Also stipulate visitation and where he is to pickup or dropoff kids and when. Do everything in writing if either changes something.
rory10
by Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:38 AM

Better safe then sorry. Call the lawyer

goldpandora
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:42 AM

Do NOT leave anything to chance. Yes, you want everything in writing. Tell your lawyer about this. Do not give your STBX any wriggle room at all.

If I might make a suggestion ... Post this over on the divorce and starting over board

http://www.cafemom.com/group/114257

The ladies there have been where you are and have some really great information on what you need to put into writing, how to protect you and your children's rights, etc.

Good luck

karenax
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:42 AM

I am calling to set up an appointment today. Our son is 16. He takes him out to eat once a week for a total of 2 hours. Its the most he's spent with him in years. Sad. He'll talk to his gf several times a day for hours at a time but he only contacts our son on the day they go out to eat.

cowgirls10181
by Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:47 AM

I would add it in the papers with the lawyer other wise you have to do a seprate paper for it and it cost extra. also make sure it goes through the correct offices this way you aren't fighting to receive it they will fight for you to receive it if he doesnt pay

cowgirls10181
by Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:51 AM


that is sad. might I suggest since he is 16 put in there collage and that he has to help pay 33-50 % of the tuition. this way you arent left with the whole bill. I have mine and its a good sized note. 

Quoting karenax:

I am calling to set up an appointment today. Our son is 16. He takes him out to eat once a week for a total of 2 hours. Its the most he's spent with him in years. Sad. He'll talk to his gf several times a day for hours at a time but he only contacts our son on the day they go out to eat.



karenax
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:55 AM

Thankfully my lawyer isn't charging me a lot. She is only charging for paperwork around 300. I honestly don't have the money but they take payments. She told me to let him file because he'll have to pay the larger amount. I asked why it didn't stipulate the 177, he thinks I'm stupid but he's lied so much in the past I believe NOTHING. He keeps trying to convince me that its up to us.


Quoting cowgirls10181:

I would add it in the papers with the lawyer other wise you have to do a seprate paper for it and it cost extra. also make sure it goes through the correct offices this way you aren't fighting to receive it they will fight for you to receive it if he doesnt pay


 

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