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My Parents have missed out on my kids Birthdays to watch my sisters kids and I am so hurt by it ! What should I do?

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 3:01 PM
  • 22 Replies
My family over the years have become so dysfunctional. We used to be close until it seems I had kids. I was always there for my sisters kids and helped take care of them. Now that I have kids and would like someone to be there for me their not. I always hear of my parents doing stuff with my sisters and kids but when I ask they are always watching the others. Not sure what I have done? It never bothered me so bad until my last two kids birthdays came around and they haven't been there for two years. First and second Birthdays!I Really feel like I should give up on our relationship? What should I do? There really is more to this story but it would take all day!
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 3:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
angelachristine
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 3:05 PM

Just give up. You can't force someone to be a grandparent. This is what i have had to do for the exact same reasons. My dd who is 10 was just turning 4 the last birthday party mil went to and I don't have parents so the kids are basically grandparent-less. I'm sorry.

danijean
by Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 3:07 PM
That sucks but let it be their choice. Continue to invite them to birthday parties/holidays. When they realize they don't know your kids it will be their fault.
JTE11
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 3:10 PM
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I would say to live your life and be happy, and stop pining for a relationship they are unwilling or unable to give. If they come around and realize what they are missing then that will be a bonus.  It may be understandable to be sad about it but it's not healthy for you to be sad about it all of the time. It's something out of your control, so there is no point in letting it affect you. You and your kids live your lives and have a blast, and the only ones missing out will be your parents.

Bleacheddecay
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 5:26 PM

*HUGS* I agree.


Quoting angelachristine:

Just give up. You can't force someone to be a grandparent. This is what i have had to do for the exact same reasons. My dd who is 10 was just turning 4 the last birthday party mil went to and I don't have parents so the kids are basically grandparent-less. I'm sorry.



Swissmami82
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:07 PM

Honey....they are just not into you or your kids...why do you want to have someone in your life that gives no value to it. Your kids would realize soon that they are not important to them...you can do so much better without them.

la_bella_vita
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 10:42 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree

Quoting danijean:

That sucks but let it be their choice. Continue to invite them to birthday parties/holidays. When they realize they don't know your kids it will be their fault.
jbarker9
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 10:48 AM

It's hard, but if they are not in the picture, just be done with it.

My father and I have a crap relationship, always have, and I figured if my DD didn't make him call or come around more, then screw it. I still send him bday invitations, but I don't expect him to show up. I would much rather him NOT be in her life, just like he wasn't in mine, than have him there every now and then just to disappear and my kid ask me why he's not around - just like I did to my mom for years.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my dad, and yes it does hurt - a lot - but I can assure you that them being in and out of you and your kids lives makes it 100x worse. The ups and downs are not worth it.

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 10:48 AM
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Do your parents possibly feel that you are more capable than your sister and she needs them more? Are you more "difficult" or unpleasant to be around than your sister? I have one sister I have to limit my time with for my own sanity, and I know sometimes she is hurt that I spend more time with my other sister. Have you told them how you feel?

5aliventn
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 12:45 PM
Thanks I agree with everyone too. They do try or give money after Birthdays but for some reason that bothers me even more.! I feel like they are trading money for time with my kids. What do you think?
5aliventn
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 12:51 PM
I have told them and there is always excuses. I feel like Im less difficult and defiantly less critical than my sisters. Im constantly trying to please and make everyone happy!All I want is for my kids to have family in their life. I probably am a lil more difficult recently because Im hurt that My family is treated differently.
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