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Frustrated!

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 3:26 PM
  • 4 Replies
My DS is in K. We did K5 last year and last year was rough. We did have problems with bullies and just school in general. I kinda blamed it on it being too long (5 full days a week) and him being too young.
Now we are in K. Last month he was awesome. He's at the top of his class academically. Sometimes he gets letters turned around and such. But he does really well. But last week I started noticing a change in his behavior when picking him up from school. More sullen, disrespectful. He's waking up crying saying he doesn't want to go. This is the same thing that happened last year. I asking him if he had come across any bullies at school and he said no. I believed him. This week he has been in time out every day for different things. He's been having trouble keeping his hands to himself (not in a mean way, but some kids don't like to be touched. We've been working on this at home for the last year). He's been throwing things across the room. And today I showed up about 15 minutes early because I can watch him on the playground from the parking lot. When I got there, I noticed he wasn't on the playground. I saw his teacher go inside. The bell rang and I went inside and he was sitting in time out crying. He told me he was playing "Ninjas" with another kid. He fell down and the other kid kinda pounded on him. He got up and started to run and the other kid started hitting his chest hard, so he hit back. He got in trouble. I didn't ask if the other kid did. I'm just frustrated and not sure what to do!! I told him for now he could not play "Ninjas" except at home (they did a version of this game last year and it always gets too violent... Different school, some of the same classmates though). I figure with two kids I can watch it better. And I told him if he saw this other kid again to just not play with him. My DS is extremely forgiving, which I don't want to ruin, but I don't want him to keep putting himself in this situation. And I don't know where to even begin with what to do. HELP!!
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 3:26 PM
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Replies (1-4):
Saharra
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 3:13 PM
Time out again today for not behaving in gym class :( He's been in trouble every single day this week and I don't know what to do :(
veggiemom474
by Bronze Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 3:31 PM

Poor guy. Have you spoken directly with his teacher about the bullying? Maybe he is being teased, but doesn't think of it as bullying because it's hands off. I would inquire if other kids pick on him, and if it were me I would be in contact with his teacher until he improves.

Also, maybe give him an incentive for behaving. Like tell him if he goes a week with no time outs/problems you will treat him to ice cream or something.

First and foremost I would make sure he isn't being picked on in school.

Saharra
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 3:56 PM
Thank you for the suggestions. I will keep talking to him and seeing if he won't open up some.
I haven't tried to talk to his teacher too much about this issue. She seems to be really closed off about most things and doesn't respond at all when I send notes in or call. I haven't tried email yet, but that's my next step. Then in person. I really don't want to talk to her with my kids there though (his LB would be with me too).
I will keep trying. Thank you for responding. I really do appreciate extra ideas to go with what I'm already doing, because I just feel stuck.



Quoting veggiemom474:

Poor guy. Have you spoken directly with his teacher about the bullying? Maybe he is being teased, but doesn't think of it as bullying because it's hands off. I would inquire if other kids pick on him, and if it were me I would be in contact with his teacher until he improves.


Also, maybe give him an incentive for behaving. Like tell him if he goes a week with no time outs/problems you will treat him to ice cream or something.


First and foremost I would make sure he isn't being picked on in school.


SamMom912
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 4:04 PM

Id wonder what was going on too... If a kid is fighting going to schooll there is an discomfort level. I dont know what it is.. only he does.
We dont avoid things unless they are hard/difficult. You need to have a nice, calm chat with him.. no accusations, no punishments) he needs to know he can talk to you and tell you everything... give him absolution when he tells you things wrong that he did during the discussion, or he will learn he cant talk to you...  He sounds like he is extremely frustrated. We all throw things and act out when frustrated.

just talk to him... "I noticed youve been having some difficulty lately in school. Whats up?" let him tell you the rest. You may need to get more specific... cause general questions get general answers. become detective like and get answers from him...

If he is acting impulsively at school-- remember he is 5. Dont punish.. just reminders... explain the importance of following rules, listening to the teacher.. just ask him to do his best...

as far as the hitting-- it takes 2 to tango, this other kid played a part-- as did your son. remind him words are always better then hands.. and if the boy hits again, find a teacher. It isnt tattling if someone (meaning you) gets hurt.



 

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