This post is in regards to a child I nanny (not my actual child but I love her and truly care about her well being) I am a graduate student and nanny for a wonderful family Monday-Friday (there are two girls ages 7 and 8). My issue lies with the first grader; she is constantly acting out. She will exhibit the following behavior to me, her sister, and also their neighbor (who is the girls' best friend): hitting, spitting, throwing things, threatening, etc. she throws a temper tantrum at least once a day and nothing I do will calm her. I do not yell at her as I have researched that it is not beneficial to escalate the situation by yelling, but I am stern when she acts out. I try to make it known to her that I am here for her and listening (but that I also will not tolerate her behavior).
I am at my wits end. Today she kept hitting her neighbor and sister and throwing things at them so I figured it would be best for the neighbor and the sister to go to the neighbors house (because I wanted the child who was acting out to calm down and I didn't want anyone to get hurt). What happened next truly disturbed me. The little girl repeatedly said she wished I was dead and that she wanted to kill me (I know that she is a child, and didn't mean it, but it is troubling all the same), she was screaming and rolling her eyes in the back of her head, threw a remote control at my head, hit me, spit at me, etc. I remained pretty calm during all this and kept reassuring her I was only here to help her, but she couldn't treat people this way and there would be consequences. I eventually needed to put her in her room so she could calm down. She finally did after trying to break the door down and throwing pictures, etc at the door. After she calmed down to a sad whimper I reminded her that I care about her and wished she would tell me what's wrong rather than acting out. She always calms down but her tantrums last for two hours and during that time nothing helps. I have told the mother she acts this way but nothing changes. I'm worried there is a larger issue as she does this almost everyday and I do not want Anyone to get hurt. I do not show it but I am genuinely afraid when she begins to throw remote controls at my head and says she wants me to die. I do love these girls and want to continue to be their nanny but I also don't know how to handle her. I feel bad telling the parents she hits me because I feel like everyday they come home I have to tell them about how their little girl acted so awful. I think she has ODD but I would never actually tell the parents that because I do not want to offend them.
How would you handle these tantrums? And should I tell the mother her child hits me (I tell her about how her child acted towards the neighbor And sister but by the time the mother comes home I have already calmed the child down)
Any advice will help, thank you
on Oct. 22, 2013 at 9:10 PM