First, a quick background...I am a SAHM who does a little freelance work from home. My husband works full time. The money I do get each month goes on groceries and anything our 18 month old daughter needs (clothes, diapers, wipes, utensils, toys, and so on). I never consider buying for myself because I was brought up by parents who always made sure my needs were met and went without new things so I could have what I needed. My husband (whose pay more than doubles what I make) pays bills.
Ok...now on to the issue at hand...my husband informs me today that he bought his brother a "just because" gift for his jeep. His brother mentioned to him that he wanted one of these and my husband takes his time to go online, hunt it, and buy it. A little info about his brother (he doesn't work, stays home with his kids (one of which isn't his), lets his parents help pay his way through life, yet they all think the world of him). He NEVER takes the time to hunt our daughter anything and buy it. He told me once that his way of providing for her is by paying power and water (all his other bills are for himself...she doesn't use phone, internet, or even watches tv). I can't recall the last time he gave me something just because. We haven't even had a date since our daughter was born.
The fact that he did this for his brother is really bugging me. I can care less if he can't take an interest and ever buy me anything, but seriously you buy for your brother and not your daughter. I want to say something to him, but not sure if I could. I am sure his motto will be "I work for the money, so I can spend it as I wish." Plus, if I talk to him I will turn out being the bad guy some how and he will not see it my way and go days without talking to me. We have had issues about him and his brother in the past, and he thinks so highly of his brother and gets mad at anyone who remotely says something about him. I thought about writing him a letter and leave it for him after work because sometimes it may be taken more serious that way. Am I overreacting? Should I just let it go? Am I being jealous? I know once I say something he is going to be unhappy about it, but I am unhappy about it now. Any advice will help.