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Teenage Daughter Advice?

Posted by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 11:02 PM
  • 13 Replies
1 mom liked this

My daughter, Alley has been having some issues. Im not sure if its her, her friends actions wearing off, or what. She has stopped talking to me, we have never really had a close relationship. She has been caught a few times chatting with guys around her age innapropriatly. She swears up and down she is a virgin. Im not sure what to do, and I would really like for her to start talking to me. I guess she is embarassed, although im not sure why. 

by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 11:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GleekingOut
by Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 12:24 AM

How often is she supervised around these 'friends'?

Brycensmommy85
by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 1:28 AM

How old is she? What does she say? Are her friends sexually active? I know I talked to my best guy friend about all kinds of bad stuff, sexual positions, oral sex, (most of it grossed me out but I was fascinated too). My mom listened in on the phone conversation and it mortified me, I was a virgin hadn't even kissed a boy at 16, she gave me "the talk" and nothing ever happened. I still talked to him the same I was just more careful. I had sex after high school and after being in a long term relationship but honestly nothing my mom ever said or did affected how I acted sexually. What my friends said or did and my fear of getting knocked up kept me from doing it. Just try talking to her, non judgemental and see what she says, maybe ask her about her friends or about these guys. Is it online or on the phone? If they are her friends it is different than if they are strangers on the web. I don't know if that helps, but good luck!

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 7:36 AM
1 mom liked this
How old is she??
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fudgybuddymom
by Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 7:55 AM
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Hi,I am Linda and the mother of a teen age girl. For us I just wait for her to talk to me. I don't pressure her but ask open ended questions. I give her some freedom including hanging out with her best guy friend Isaiah & have left them alone with the unspoken stipulation that I am always nearby & could interrupt at any moment. I have always been honest & open with her about many things & work hard to keep her trust that I will keep her as safe as possible since her dad died 4 yrs ago. The best thing is not to bug them but to step in where appropriate & back off where appropriate. I don't look at her txts or her facebook & I don't snoop in her rooom.I also don't get in the middle of teenage dramas even when she is clearly hurt by them cause that would just start more problems.

Pnukey
by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 7:55 AM

How old she is does matter in this case. 

If her friends are bad, she needs new friends. However, her actions are her own and you can't blame her friends for her bad decisions. Chatting up with guys? No more tech for her. She's embarrassed? Tough. Talk to her about STD's and pregnancy even if it freaks her out.

luvvinMY5
by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 10:52 PM

She lives in your home and your paying to care for her so out of respect she should speak to you in your own home, that's out of respect and you should demand that. If she is not speaking to you about her personal life, that's her choice and you can't force her. Trying writing her a letter and look for a response that way. My son is 14 and he is shy about life issues and changes, and it's easier for him to talk by writing. You are the parent if the friends are bad, intervene and help turn your daughter's direction. Try walking and talking with her. Exercise with her and talk. Join a activity she likes and talk. See what works. Just remember your the parent, good luck.

missg8
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 2:56 PM

 Start small, make time for her do things she likes. She may not talk to you right away but your gonna have to build a relationship with her.

missg8
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 2:59 PM
Quoting fudgybuddymom:

Hi,I am Linda and the mother of a teen age girl. For us I just wait for her to talk to me. I don't pressure her but ask open ended questions. I give her some freedom including hanging out with her best guy friend Isaiah & have left them alone with the unspoken stipulation that I am always nearby & could interrupt at any moment. I have always been honest & open with her about many things & work hard to keep her trust that I will keep her as safe as possible since her dad died 4 yrs ago. The best thing is not to bug them but to step in where appropriate & back off where appropriate. I don't look at her txts or her facebook & I don't snoop in her rooom.I also don't get in the middle of teenage dramas even when she is clearly hurt by them cause that would just start more problems.

Letting her hang out with her friend but letting them know you are near.
GarysWife1991
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 4:27 PM

I think the best thing I learned was to be a good listener and not talk alot.  Don't pressure them into telling you anything or you'll end up with one word answers.  Show them you trust them and gradually give them freedom to be themselves.  Sometimes we need to allow them to make their own mistakes.  It's not easy, good luck! 

AM-BRAT
by Amber on Oct. 26, 2013 at 8:08 PM
This. What has your relationship been until now?


Quoting missg8:

 Start small, make time for her do things she likes. She may not talk to you right away but your gonna have to build a relationship with her.


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