Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Son misbehaving at school!

Posted by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 5:21 PM
  • 5 Replies

I have a 5 yr old son who started 4k this yr(his birthday is late) he has been acting up in school...today was the worst day.  The teacher has sent a letter home twice this yr asking to tell him the importance of listening and following directions...my husband and I both talked to him and seemed like it was better. We thought it was just a phase since he was still trying to get use to the whole school thing since his whole life he has only been with me or close family Well today the teacher called me and told me he was throwing an awful tantrum and wanted me to get him. When I got to school he had fell asleep for naptime...his teacher then proceeded to tell me he pulled her thumb backwards and also hit her...I wanted to breakdown and just cry when she told me this...I didn't k n ow what to say other then to apologize for his behavior. When he woke up he knew when he seen me he was in trouble, I told him to apologize to his teacher.  I told him he was not allowed to play  any games and no tv for the weekend. He will write her an apology note to take Monday....other than that I don't k n ow what else to do...I feel like a failure as a mother but probably more embarrassed than anything..please help!! 

by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 5:21 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-5):
SamMom912
by Silver Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 5:37 PM
2 moms liked this

Im so sorry he is having a hard time in school. 

Im doubting that punishing him will help, but you can try it. Id wonder what happened before he bent her finger.. Or before he hit her. People in general dont lash out unless they have an issue.. And im guessing your son has an issue with whats going on in school. 

Cosider that we ALL act out when the demands of a situation exceed our capacity. Some yell, some (especially younger kids who dont have a lot of expressive language) hit. So Im guessing the teacher said or did smething he didnt like.. And he was expressing himself.. Maladaptively for sure.. But Id be curious what led him to be so frustrated. i mean, he was even asking for you... His mom. Who HELPS and UNDERSTANDS him.. So my guess is he was asking for you because he had a problem that he could trust in you to help him with. 

How is your sons expressive and receptive language skills? 

Im guessing the next time he is frustrated, he will do the same thing. I think you should ask him LOTS of questions.. (Although, he may not be forthcoming since he got punished) anout what the issue at hand is and how you can help him in the future...

people typically think the hitting or whatever the REACTION is is the problem.. But its NOT. IT is the reaction to the PROBLEM. solve the problem, stop the hitting.. 

countrygirlkat
by Kathleen on Oct. 25, 2013 at 5:59 PM
1 mom liked this

I would talk to the teacher and have her send a note home each day with a good or a bad report.  Let your son know that he will be getting a report every day then set up a rewards system.  If he does well at school and behaves then he gets a sticker on a chart and after so many stickers he gets a reward.  If he doesn't do well then he gets something taken away like tv or whatever.  Hopefully that will help him learn what is and what is not appropriate if it is consistent like that.  Good luck.  Don't feel like a bad mom, all kids keep us on our toes in some way.  It is how we react and deal with it that matters.  Good luck.

LancesMom
Report
Yesterday at 5:56 PM
by Gold Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 9:20 AM

Is there another 4k class he can go in? Is this an all day class? Maybe a half day would be a better choice for him, it could be overwhelming him.

Good luck!

bamababe1975
by Gold Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 10:02 AM

 Like the others, I'd say you should ask her for a daily behavior report and also ask your son tons of questions to try to figure out what all went on before he snapped with her. It may help more to spend time giving him more attention and affection when he's home rather than punishing him - maybe his problem is just the idea of going to school instead of being home?



atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 10:07 AM
Ask him why he is misbehaving. Reward for good days and consequences for bad days. Have the teacher praise for good things he does.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)