Im in dire need of some advice
My daughter is 5 years old and for some reason she has a fear of my cousins boyfriend. She has known him since she was about a yr old. Shes always been rather strange with him. At the age of 1 alot of kids are shy with people they dont know so nothing came of it. my cousins boyfriend didnt come to every family function and they were always breaking up and getting back together so it wasnt like she saw him that much. But when she did she would hide her face and not look at him or anyone around she started doing this at the age of 2. i would take her in other rooms to get her away from him but she always seemed upset still.. months have passed and she seemed to be over it, she wasnt ever friendly with him she just didnt hide or shy away as much. we my cousin and her bf broke up for awhile so my child did not see him. once they got back toegther it started all over again and now shes 5 and isnt showing signs of getting better. my husband and i have told her not to bring him around my daughter , we had a family party at my parents house and we wanted to make sure our daughter felt comfortable there so we asked nicely for him not to come to my parents house. my cousin was extremely upset with me that we said something and a huge fight broke out and we havent spoken since (3months its been)
my issue is that my sister (who i am extremely close with) is having her sons(my nephew) 1st bday party this weekend, what am i suppose to do about my 5 yr old? is it wrong that i dont go? my sister understands what we have been going through but i feel bad not attending his 1st party. im not sure if my cousin and her bf are even going but i cant ask her bc its such a sensative situation and we dont speak anymore.
others have said to just leave my 5yr old home with my husband but his issue is that since our youngest seems so upset over this guy that i shouldnt take my oldest (8yrs) around him either. my 8yr old has never been shy of him. she doesnt care about him one way or another.
sooo lost and confused!! please help with any advice.
we have spoken to a therapist but she said it would take along time to figure out what her issuse is with my couins boyfriend.