Hello Ladies! I am a single mom of 2 boys (Carter is 2 1/2 and Blake is 8 months). I am having an extremely hard time with Blakes dad and I could use some serious advice!
Okay, so I met BD (baby daddy) while I was active duty in the Navy. We found out we were pregnant and things were still good between us and I got out of active duty and continued to stay in Virginia away from my family. we broke up because he was cheating on me with another girl. I moved back to Ohio to be around my family (5 months after getting out of the Navy). I had no contact with BD because his girlfriend blocked my phone number from his phone. she would text me harrassing me telling me that they were married and she would send harrassing emails, texts (i saved ALL of it) and some of it was from his phone (even though I was blocked, he could still text from his phone to me). The night that I gave birth to my son, I sent a pic to her phone and said "Blake is here" and that was it. she responded with "enjoy what little time you have with him because we will get custody soon!" and i am sure that this is not even his son!"...As time went on, I petitoned the court to do a DNA test because we had to since we were never married. Of course the DNA came back to be his andi got a new phone number. He FINALLY dumped her and wanted stuff to do with his son! I would call him like once a week and we would talk about our son for like 15 minutes and that was it. He promised to come out to visit on Fathers day (in June) and he never showed! Then, he promised to come in September and he finally did because his mommy paid for the trip. I was so skeptical about letting my son go overnight with his dad in the hotel across town that I took pics of his license plate and a recent pic of him with his son just in case he was to kidnap him! Everyone told me not to let Blake go with him but I knew it was the right thing to do and so I let him go for two days with him. During the two days, I did get to go out to dinner each day with him so I was able to see my son was okay :). Mind you, there is NOTHING in writing in court for visitation or custody so therefore, everything lays solely with me! Blake was born with my maiden name and it is still that way to this day. BD wanted Blakes last name changed to his and we did all of the paperwork while he was here and the court said they wouldnt even consider it until Blake is at least one year old! I have all of the paperwork with me still.
So, I planned a family vacation to Virginia Beach the first week of October for 11 days with just me and my boys. I wanted to go back to visit my friends and have a great time! Well, leading up to the visit, BD told me he was seeing a girl but they were not serious and we could stay with him during the time we were visiting so we could save money and I said okay. Leading up to the visit, he was EXTREMELY nice to me! During the visit, we were able to hang out with the kids, joke around, take tons of pics, and just really get along and we talked a lot about the past and a lot of stuff came to light about stuff he had lied about. and, the girl that he was supposedly dating, dumped him a few days before we visited. When we left to go back to Ohio, we agreed that we would remain friends and he would be coming to Ohio for Thanksgiving and Christmas and our sons surgeries in December along with his baptism!
Since we have been back home to Ohio, it has been nothing but constant fighting and arguring becuase he NEVER keeps to his word about talking about our son. Our son has plenty of medical appointments becuase he is special needs and I try to do the right thing and keep BD informed but it is hard. We agree to talk at a certain time (him calling us) and it NEVER happens! something ALWAYS comes up and if I ever try to call (there was a true emergency last week where I had to take son to ER for asthma attack) and BD would not answer and he didnt get ahold of me until the next day via text message! The funny thing is that when I was in VA visiting, he checked his phone NONSTOP and i had to get onto him to stop texting people all the time and spend time with his son! His actions are very shady!
He now tels me that the doesnt know if he will be here for the holidays (he gets out of the navy the day before thanksgiving), even though I offered to pay for his ticket because it would mean a lot to blake for his dad to be here.
I am at the point now where I have no clue what to believe or what to do! Any suggestions on what I should do ladies?