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How do I get DH to help?

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I am currently a SAHM to an infant and a toddler. I don't mind doing cooking, cleaning, laundry.... But I could really use some help with other things, like getting the house and yard ready for winter, general repairs, etc.

Even when I tell DH what needs done, he doesn't do it. The only raked leaves, I raked. DH hasn't cut the grass since at least Aug. I managed to get the front done during baby's nap while dd was at preschool, but I couldn't manage the back. I want to put plastic over dds window for the winter because I noticed it was fogging up after the heat went on, dh told me if I found the roll of plastic he would carry it in for me. That was it.

The kicker though is the flourescent light in our kitchen. It has been partially working for over a month. I bought replacement bulbs but I can't put them in. There will be entire days my big kitchen light doesn't work at all and DH just doesn't fix it. He knows it needs done. I've even left the bulbs right out in front of him. Nothing. And this is how it is with everything.

The only time he will help with anything is if my dad comes over to fix something. Quite frankly I'm at the end of my rope.

Another thing I have noticed is he never takes dds anywhere. If I am even going to run to a store for groceries quick, he wants me to take at least one with me. If he would even just take the girls to the library or park for an hour, I'd try to get some of it done myself but I simply can't do some of it with a toddler and an infant. I don't know what to do as I can't afford to hire help and I'm tired of asking my dad all the time.
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 4:56 AM
Replies (31-32):
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 11:20 AM
I make a list (I bought a frame with a glass front and some dry erase markers, put some pretty paper in it and drew a line down the middle)... One side says my name and one says his...

If there's something needs done it gets added to the list (a date/time added if needed)... He adds stuff to mine too.

We used to fight/argue... We each respect the other enough that this works. There are some things I can't do myself and some things I shouldn't do and there are things that are "my job" as the sahp (mostly if he adds stuff it's things to pick up while doing errands or something to help him since I'm home like finding the black yard bags so he can mow when he gets home).

We are both able to manage our time and our issue was usually not a "on purpose" thing but more "absent minded" issue so this way we hae a reminder but it doesn't become a "thing" where someone is nagging the other.
by on Dec. 5, 2013 at 11:39 PM

I think you all need good divorce attorneys!

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